Riona (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rionaleonhart) wrote2007-10-05 05:06 pm
rionaleonhart) wrote2007-10-05 05:06 pm
You're A Fireman.
(If you want to write about a pairing you wouldn't usually touch, y'know, you can still do that. You can even write pairings that don't involve Top Gear Dog!)
IT IS TIME FOR AN EPISODE OF 'STRANGE THINGS I HAVE DISCOVERED IN MY NOTEBOOKS'. I only actually have three of my many writing notebooks here at university with me, but there's still quite a lot that makes me go '...wait, what? I don't remember writing that!' when I'm flicking through them.
Under the title of 'Unlikely Silent Hill Crossovers':
Cluedo: by observing the personal torments of Miss Scarlett, Colonel Mustard, Mrs Peacock, Professor Plum, Mrs White and the Reverend Green, the reader must work out which of them was responsible for the murder of Mr. Black.
I have absolutely no recollection of writing this down or indeed of coming up with the idea, but I love it. There's generally not enough board game fanfiction, is there? Monopoly could be the Silent Hill of board games. Of course, it'd have to be a special 'Monopoly: Silent Hill edition' for the purposes of fanfic. The currency would be sanity, and you would be trapped in an endless, hellish loop of going around and around and around the board for ever and ever, with no prospect of the game ever finishing. Much like regular Monopoly.
(The only annoying thing is that I'm having trouble thinking of 'characters' from any other board games suitable for the nightmarish torment of the Monopoly board. Ooh, the Cluedo characters could come across a horribly rusted deathtrap version of the contraption from 'Mousetrap'!)
Under the title of 'Lessons I Have Learnt In California':
- A safe is not a microwave.
Oh, I wish I could remember how I learnt this.
Under the heading 'a brilliant idea, rejected on the questionable grounds of being "too awesome"':
The Master has some sort of intriguing shiny thing he could potentially use to take over the world. Balthier, in his sky-piratey way, swoops in and steals it. The Master sets out to track him down. AWESOME ENSUES.
I had no idea that I had actually thought about Balthier meeting the Master before! Under this idea, I have written things along the lines of 'tsk, Balthier, stop being noble, you are ruining my dreams of an amazing and brilliant team-up of evil with the Master'. Still, I have discovered the wonder that is introducing Captain Jack Harkness to Balthier and Fran since them, so that's all right.
Other strange extracts:
Beekeeper Holmes goes insane, concocts elaborate scheme to make Watson come and live with him again. (This one sounds bizarrely like a headline. Was it supposed to be a fanfiction idea? I hope it was a headline I saw somewhere. SHUT UP, IT IS TOTALLY PLAUSIBLE.)
I do have a slightly worrying habit of viewing things in terms of videogames sometimes. Today, we drove past a patch of interesting vegetation, and my mind leapt instantly to which species of Pokémon could potentially be lurking within it. (Why, yes, I do have a tendency to write things in my notebook as if I'm writing in my Livejournal. Quite a bit of the stuff I note down there ends up in here.)
IT IS TIME FOR AN EPISODE OF 'STRANGE THINGS I HAVE DISCOVERED IN MY NOTEBOOKS'. I only actually have three of my many writing notebooks here at university with me, but there's still quite a lot that makes me go '...wait, what? I don't remember writing that!' when I'm flicking through them.
Under the title of 'Unlikely Silent Hill Crossovers':
Cluedo: by observing the personal torments of Miss Scarlett, Colonel Mustard, Mrs Peacock, Professor Plum, Mrs White and the Reverend Green, the reader must work out which of them was responsible for the murder of Mr. Black.
I have absolutely no recollection of writing this down or indeed of coming up with the idea, but I love it. There's generally not enough board game fanfiction, is there? Monopoly could be the Silent Hill of board games. Of course, it'd have to be a special 'Monopoly: Silent Hill edition' for the purposes of fanfic. The currency would be sanity, and you would be trapped in an endless, hellish loop of going around and around and around the board for ever and ever, with no prospect of the game ever finishing. Much like regular Monopoly.
(The only annoying thing is that I'm having trouble thinking of 'characters' from any other board games suitable for the nightmarish torment of the Monopoly board. Ooh, the Cluedo characters could come across a horribly rusted deathtrap version of the contraption from 'Mousetrap'!)
Under the title of 'Lessons I Have Learnt In California':
- A safe is not a microwave.
Oh, I wish I could remember how I learnt this.
Under the heading 'a brilliant idea, rejected on the questionable grounds of being "too awesome"':
The Master has some sort of intriguing shiny thing he could potentially use to take over the world. Balthier, in his sky-piratey way, swoops in and steals it. The Master sets out to track him down. AWESOME ENSUES.
I had no idea that I had actually thought about Balthier meeting the Master before! Under this idea, I have written things along the lines of 'tsk, Balthier, stop being noble, you are ruining my dreams of an amazing and brilliant team-up of evil with the Master'. Still, I have discovered the wonder that is introducing Captain Jack Harkness to Balthier and Fran since them, so that's all right.
Other strange extracts:
Beekeeper Holmes goes insane, concocts elaborate scheme to make Watson come and live with him again. (This one sounds bizarrely like a headline. Was it supposed to be a fanfiction idea? I hope it was a headline I saw somewhere. SHUT UP, IT IS TOTALLY PLAUSIBLE.)
I do have a slightly worrying habit of viewing things in terms of videogames sometimes. Today, we drove past a patch of interesting vegetation, and my mind leapt instantly to which species of Pokémon could potentially be lurking within it. (Why, yes, I do have a tendency to write things in my notebook as if I'm writing in my Livejournal. Quite a bit of the stuff I note down there ends up in here.)
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I do like how EVERYONE has decided that Jeremy/Top Gear Dog is the pinnacle of all wrongness.
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... I have all kinds of needs to read that.
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Also, when I was younger, I was like, crazily obsessed with Miss Scarlett. I loved her. I wanted to be her. In my brain, she was being romantically persued in a bullish, haphazardly way by Colonel Mustard, whom she strung along for the fun of seeing him bluster and sweat and humiliate himself, whilst being loved in a sweet little bashful way by the quiet Reverend Green, who owned a little village parish, but she was actually interested in Professor Plum, a brilliant world-famous professor of something that I never worked out, who thought she was lovely but much prefered petri-dishes and books as his constant companions. Also, Mrs White was always the murderess in my brain, as the card of her was quite unattractive and I was a shallow child, and Mrs Peacock was a wealthy widow trapped in an endless, self-perpetuating contest with Miss Scarlett over their looks and ability to ensnare the menfolk that Miss Scarlett refused to acknowledge, mainly because she always won, while Mrs Peacock just got old and bitter.
LOOK even when I was small (we're talking ages 4-7 here) I created insane board-game fanfiction. WHAT IS WRONG IN MY BRAIN?
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And that Cluedo mind-fic is absolutely amazing.
(I always play as Miss Scarlett. I don't know why, but I do. Also, when I am playing Cluedo, the murderer is always Mrs Peacock. A couple of weeks ago, I played a game in which the murderer turned out to be Professor Plum, and I was genuinely astonished because it had become impossible for me to think of any of the characters apart from Mrs Peacock capable of murder.)
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WHY WOULD ANYONE WRITE SOMETHING IN WHICH HOLMES IS NOT WITH WATSON?
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I used to make up stories in my head involving the Cluedo characters all the time, usually depending on how the game was going. Typically: Reverend Green was secretly sleeping with Mrs. White, who had had his love child, Mr. Black had found out and they had plotted to kill him together. Prof. Plum was as gay as a window, and Col. Mustard was chasing Miss Scarlet, who was Mr. Black's ward.
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FATHER: What would you like for dinner?
MOOG: AS GAY AS A WINDOW!!
FATHER: ...
MOOG: Er, I mean, I don't mind?
MOTHER: What do you think about my new curtains?
MOOG: AS GAY AS A WINDOW!!
MOTHER: You don't like them?
MOOG: No, er, I, er, the window is...the curtains are...I don't know, the gay has eaten my mind.
And so on and so forth.
I really didn't like Mrs. White. She was always the baddie. And I was always intrigued by Mr. Black - maybe he could have been the one actually interested in Miss Scarlett, and that's why she never really minded that Prof. Plum was so interested in
menpetri-dishes, because she was still grieving the loss of her love-guy and was busy plotting vengeance Kill-Bill style for Mrs. White, the murderess.OH MY GOD, MAYBE PROFESSOR PLUM WAS REALLY REMUS LUPIN.
I think maybe the crossovers have eaten my brain along with the gay. It must be some form of delicacy for mind-destroying ideas.
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Yes!
Though that does suggest that Sirius is Mr. Black, and Lily could be Scarlet and... *remembers she doesn't actually like Harry potter* Dammit! It's in my brain now!
[Though what would be really satisfying would be a Cluedo fanfic where all the characters are from different fandoms; maybe Father Ted, Colonel Melchett, Jess from The Real Hustle, Irene Adler and Donna from DW? Oh the confusion and madness!]
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YOU ARE BRILLIANT. And Jess could make a rather marvellous Miss Scarlett.
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"- A safe is not a microwave."
Bizarrely, I briefly used a microwave as a safe THIS VERY WEEK.
"rejected on the questionable grounds of being "too awesome""
A TERRIBLE REASON TO REJECT SOMETHING. They should put that on rejection letters for everything. The world would be a better place.
I always used to play as Miss Scarlett, until I was about 11, when I decided I should be anyone but her. Because I should attempt to be the least awesome character. Oh, self-esteem.
Also, I'm not a fireman. (And the thread above is too awesome for words omg.)
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I once played Dark Cloud with my cousin for twelve hours straight and on the way home kept seeing little red boxes everywhere. (yes, I am still slogging through your journal. Your flist is insane.)
And there should so be a Monopoly/Silent Hill crossover.