Face Your Pears.

[rionaleonhart]

Yesterday, I went to Thorpe Park with th_esaurus, neobubble and meisalliam!

Colossus (hisssss) completely buggered up my back, to my distress. The thought occurs that it may have been angry with me for killing its brethren in Shadow of the Colossus. This seems a slightly disproportionate punishment. THE COLOSSI ARE COMPUTER-GENERATED, COLOSSUS. MY BACK PAIN IS VERY REAL.

As it was the first ride we went on, the back injury sort of limited my ride options for the rest of the day, alas. But it was still a lovely day; I drank hot chocolate and ate ice-cream and had wonderful company, and neobubble and meisalliam managed to get pretty much the best rollercoaster picture ever. Spending time with you guys was easily worth the entrance fee.

My back still hurts today, but I've regained the ability to look up and I'm not quite as hunchbacked as I was last night, so with any luck I won't have permanently damaged myself. I suppose I'll see a doctor if the pain hasn't gone by the end of the week.


On Monday, th_esaurus and I went to watch District 9 (verdict: mostly good, but flawed in several respects). I spent half the film inexplicably convinced that Christopher was a female alien whom the humans had assumed was male because the aliens did not have secondary sexual characteristics.

I have no idea why I thought this. (Spoiler: he is not, or at least he wasn't intended to be.) Possibly because there was a general dearth of female characters and my mind was trying to redress the balance? I do hope it wasn't just because he had a child; that would be a dreadful assumption.

(Seriously, where were the women in that film? There were, if I recall correctly, three - the wife, the mother, the documentary lady - and they had perhaps five minutes of screentime between them. How bizarre.)


Finally:

Every day tempted to Twitter something like 'I just killed someone!' to see what happens. Dangerous toy.

Oh, Derren Brown, I adore you. And, of course, if he actually does kill someone and Twitter about it now, nobody will believe him. How very cunning.

(Post-Control the Nation, a thought: Derren Brown doesn't need any ropes for bondage. Hmm.)

A couple of nights ago, I dreamt that reipan, sacred_sarcasm, lo0o0ony_lauren and I were staying with Derren Brown at his enormous mansion. I fell down all his many stairs and then failed to be impressed by his correctly telling me things about my house because I couldn't remember any of them myself. Everyone laughed at my rubbishness. LOOK, I MIGHT EXPECT THIS FROM DERREN BROWN, BUT YOU GUYS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE MY FRIENDS. I EXPECT AN APOLOGY THE NEXT TIME YOU SHOW UP IN MY DREAMS. Yes, all right, I was quite rubbish.

Comments

[derryderrydown.livejournal.com]

Is it confirmed at any point that she is male? (Well, other than the kid calling her 'father' which could easily be a mistranslation. *nods*) Because I decided she was female, too.

[rionaleonhart]

The 'Father' was what made me think 'er, perhaps she's not supposed to be female', but the mistranslation possibility did cross my mind. I think I'm going to keep believing that Christopher is female, because there's no reason for her not to be, and without her the lack of female characters really is striking. (And I'm glad I'm not the only person who thought this!)

[vzg.livejournal.com]

I believe people associated with the film have said they're meant to be a hermaphroditic species, but I don't currently have sources on that.

[zeitheist.livejournal.com]

I have no idea who nonsensical and meisalliam are, but I think I love them a little bit right now. That is a fantastic picture.

My dad swears up, down, and sideways that the loop-the-loop on Colossus wobbles when you go through it. I do like the barrel roll/corkscrew though, particularly standing underneath it and watching what falls onto the mesh guard. Once it was a pair of sunglasses! I sympathise with the back pain, though. That happened to me on Nemesis Inferno one year; I got all scrunched up inside the safety guard when we went upside-down. :(

[rionaleonhart]

The picture delights me afresh every time I see it. Some guys behind us noticed it on the screens after the ride and couldn't stop laughing.

We actually saw a pair of sunglasses on the guard below Colossus yesterday! Are many people wearing their sunglasses onto Colossus? It seems unwise. (And I'm sorry about your Nemesis Inferno back-pain, but quite relieved to hear that others have suffered rollercoaster-induced back problems that were, presumably, temporary.)

[zeitheist.livejournal.com]

It is a very delightful picture!!

You would be surprised the number of people who cheerfully hand over their spare change and bags, but then go on Colossus wearing glasses. I think they just forget that they're wearing them. Sunglasses, though, that's just daft. (It was very much temporary. The trick is to keep moving, apparently, otherwise your muscles get stiff and make things worse).

[th-esaurus.livejournal.com]

I'm distressed that the thing I'm pondering most in this whole post is Derren Brown doesn't need any ropes for bondage. Hmm..

[rionaleonhart]

My journal exists entirely to make you slightly uncomfortable. Yes, you specifically.

[red-bowlingball.livejournal.com]

At Alton Towers a few months ago I managed to punch myself in the face whilst on Rita. I'm still embarrassed.

Also, I now have sitting in front of me the first season of Trick Of The Mind which arrived in the post this morning. Up until your bizarre KH/Derren Brown crossover I had no idea who Derren Brown was. So, in short, I blame you.

(Thanks)

[rionaleonhart]

You punched yourself in the face? That's... almost impressive.

Oh, I hope you enjoy Trick of the Mind! Derren Brown is such a fascinating, unnerving man, and I am happy to be blamed for introducing you to him.

[sideshow-meg.livejournal.com]

Colossus is INSANE! We queued for so long to get on it but it was so worth it! Although I'm sorry your back is so painful :(

[rionaleonhart]

IT IS SO SPINNY. AND BUFFETY. I am not sure I'll ever dare go on it again.

[dancesontrains.livejournal.com]

No women in District 9? :/ I hadn't heard about that- just the fail in comparing the plight of (apparently rather stupid?) aliens to PoC in South Africa, while showing actual black people in the most cliched ways possible.

[rionaleonhart]

As th_esaurus said afterwards, 'For a film about racism, that was a surprisingly racist film.' And, yes, there is a general absence of ladies.

[dancesontrains.livejournal.com]

Really, the only answer to that is LOL WHITE PEOPLE.

[subtle-rift.livejournal.com]

Every day tempted to Twitter something like 'I just killed someone!' to see what happens. Dangerous toy.

Well, it's better than

"Every day tempted to kill someone so I can Twitter 'I just killed someone!' to see what happens. Dangerous toy."

[rionaleonhart]

Ahahaha, very true. Please do not kill anyone, Derren.

[anewcitylife.livejournal.com]

I love Colossus but I'm sorry it doesn't love you back :(

[rionaleonhart]

It betrayed me so! From now on I am going to stick to Nemesis Inferno, which is a nice friendly rollercoaster and has yet to injure me.

[emmarrrrr.livejournal.com]

ffffffff, what an amazing photo.

Also, re; dvb killing people; i actually twittered "Please, do twitter "I just killed someone!" because I have a feeling the reaction would be hilarious." in response.

[rionaleonhart]

I misread this comment at first and thought for a moment you were encouraging him to actually kill people. I am quite relieved to realise you were not.

[amy-wolf.livejournal.com]

Boo, Colossus! Bad roller coaster!

Derren Brown doesn't need any ropes for bondage.

You're just now working this out? Did you see the one where he managed to inflict pain on the young man just by messing with his mind? Then made the painful bit go numb and stuck needles into it? He can do any type of BDSM without equipment, including stuff that probably hasn't been invented yet. He just brings out the needles and broken glass because they make him happy.

[rionaleonhart]

I think I have seen that one! I was unnerved by how quick the student was to say, 'Well, I don't see any reason why I shouldn't push a needle through my hand.' Stop being so creepy, Derren.

There needs to be fic about Derren Brown engaging in BDSM without tools. I'm just saying.

[amy-wolf.livejournal.com]

Do you actually want him to stop, though?

And yes I someone should really finish write that fic.

Derren was being all in denial about his desire to torment Robbie Williams, and going "I'm only doing this for his own good!" so he decided take Robbie to a medieval torture chamber and 'tie him up' and 'torture him' with mind powers, on the theory that it's safer and less damaging than anything more physical. And not at all, Derren must insist, because he enjoys the "I can do all of this without lifting a finger!" power and sense of his own specialness. I'm fairly sure something sexual is going to happen at some point, after Derren breaks out the imaginary hot pokers.

Also, I have finished the Derren Brown-Top Gear amnesia fic! I have to sleep on it, and check for obvious stupidity and bits that didn't work (I had to catch myself already and explain why Jeremy was trying to kill two different doors, at opposite ends of the building, with a hammer. It wasn't that hard once I thought about it.) And then possibly find a sensible beta-type person, then post! Then I show you all my recent TGS crackfic, and see if I'm in every category or not.

[emmarrrrr.livejournal.com]

OH ALSO RE: COLOSSUS.

When I went on it I had massive bruises on my shoulders for about a week afterwards. It was one of the few times I have truly hated weighing as little as I do. Also, because I'm short, the safety guard thing sat about two inches above my shoulders. Needless to say, I rattled around like a ragdoll.

[lo0o0ony-lauren.livejournal.com]

TWO THINGS.
1) I am sorry I laughed at you but oh lor I wish that dream would come true just the same. aughhhhhhh.
2) Derren Brown doesn't need any ropes for bondage
rghne\rkahlnawlhlenhleahklte

I wanted to title this 'two thoughts' but really they are barely thoughts at all.

[rionaleonhart]

I did quite enjoy being Mr Brown's guest, even if he was basically facepalming at how useless I was. OBVIOUSLY THIS DREAM WAS A VISION OF THE FUTURE.

[squeemu.livejournal.com]

I hope the back pain gets better! Three years later, I still get random back twinges from the time I screwed my back up.

So hopefully that doesn't happen to you!

[rionaleonhart]

Oh, eep. Yes, I hope it'll be fine. Thank you for the well-wishes! (And I'm sorry about your back.)

[vzg.livejournal.com]

Seriously, where were the women in that film? There were, if I recall correctly, three - the wife, the mother, the documentary lady - and they had perhaps five minutes of screentime between them. How bizarre.

THERE WERE THE HOOKERS. DO NOT FORGET THE HOOKERS.

But mostly the movie was aliens + Wikus anyway. (And yet I liked it! Not the best movie of the summer by far, but enjoyable.)

Also, have you seen Inglourious Basterds? Because you should. Though I say that pretty much just because I believe everyone should. I kind of think you might like Hans Landa, though. Or you might hate him! I don't know for sure. If they're really and truly evil but utterly dashing and speak at least four three languages fluently and one more at least conversationally, what are your feelings? Because if the feelings are YES then you might like him! Did I mention that he's charming? Because he is. But even if you do I don't know your feelings on gore. If they are "OH GOD NO" then it still won't be for you even if you'd love Landa.

YOU WOULD PROBABLY LIKE ALDO THOUGH. Maybe. Riona, I don't know enough about your film tastes and it's upsetting me. (Okay, I know you'd like Shosanna, though. Only uncool people don't like Shosanna!)

And re: the rollercoaster picture, have you seen this (http://xkcd.com/chesscoaster/)? I think their picture would fit among the bunch.

And now I'm strongly considering following Derren Brown on Twitter, but I feel weird enough for now that I'm following Eli Roth, so I'll save that for another day.

[vzg.livejournal.com]

I have a talent for tl;dr, I must say.

[amy-wolf.livejournal.com]

Derren Brown and Eli Roth? There would be so much fake torture if those two met!

[vzg.livejournal.com]

Derren Brown: No, no, you're using too much fake blood!

Eli Roth: But what's the fun of it if there's no splatter?

Derren Brown: Watch this — see how the ice pick looks as though it's going directly into her skulls, but no blood pours out? Isn't that scarier than just making it ooze?

Eli Roth: That's why I don't ooze. It's gotta spray. There's no fun if there's no blood spray.

Derren Brown: I don't think you understand what I'm saying.

Eli Roth: I don't think you understand what I'm saying.

Derren Brown: Look, my fangirls are very devoted because I use mindfuckery instead of trying to gross everyone out.

Eli Roth: My fangirls like being grossed out.

Derren Brown: But my fangirls are more sophisticated!

Eli Roth: My fangirls write kinky fanfic of my characters boning the other characters. Kinky gay fanfic.

Derren Brown: ...Really?

Eli Roth: Yeah, I'll show you.

AND THEY LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER gosh I'm tired.

[vzg.livejournal.com]

Skulls. Multiple skulls on one "her." APPARENTLY THE VICTIM IS A TWO-HEADED WOMAN.

[amy-wolf.livejournal.com]

Derren Brown and Eli Roth collaborating on the fake-maiming of a two-headed woman does make a surprising amount of sense, though.

[vzg.livejournal.com]

But alas, she never does finish getting fake-maimed with that ice pick. Even if they weren't bickering about whether or not Donny's a top, they'd never get past the blood/no blood argument.

[amy-wolf.livejournal.com]

Aw, poor two-headed woman. This was going to be her big break in show business!

(Would this be a two-headed woman, or conjoined twins sharing a body? Because possibly one of them would be all "Yay, show biz!" and the other one not so much.)

[vzg.livejournal.com]

Two-headed woman, unless Derren was being insensitive and deciding to refer to both twins as one person. And I would expect that from Eli, but not Derren!

[amy-wolf.livejournal.com]

Yeah, Derren would only refer to one body and two heads as a two-headed woman if the two heads had pretty much the one mind and personality between them, like Zaphod Beeblebrox (if he were a woman and Derren Brown was taking an icepick to the skull). If it were two people with one body between them, like those Hensel girls, Derren would be polite and acknowledge that they are indeed separate people, before breaking out the sharp objects and getting stabby.

[vzg.livejournal.com]

Exactly. Because he's a gentleman.

[rionaleonhart]

I'm not really a gore person; there were quite a few points in District 9 at which I had to look away from the screen. But I am sort of intrigued by Inglorious Basterds, because it looks as if it is going to be quite a big fandom. (Also, yes, charming and evil is always a tempting combination.)

Those chess pictures are wonderful!

[vzg.livejournal.com]

There were a few moments in D9 that I had to look away, too. Particularly the fingernail stuff, yowch. I flinched only a little more at IB, but then, I tend to find gore, especially Tarantino's kind, more funny than ew.

So far the fandom is not big. There was a slight boom after Eli went "OH BTW I SEE YOU WRITING KINKY SLASH FIC THERE" but it's still... a teensy bit slow. I hope it'll grow up and be big and strong, though! It will if it drinks all its milk and always has creme with its strudel, of course.