It's An Expression Of Joy!

[rionaleonhart]

Charlie Brooker introduces the first episode of the third series of Screenwipe whilst slapping himself repeatedly in the face.

It's unsettlingly erotic.

Then he spends the first third of the third episode of the series shirtless for no discernible reason, which is just distracting. I hope you are enjoying playing with my mind, Brooker. I have to confess that I am rather enjoying having it played with.


There is, as far as I can ascertain, no Charlie Brooker fanfiction on the Internet. None! This is a sorry state of affairs indeed.

I suppose it may be in part down to the fact that Brooker seems a fairly Internet-savvy chap. If he can find unofficial uploads of Screenwipe on YouTube* and display them in a later episode, thus creating a confusing recursion for those also watching that later episode on YouTube, he can probably find your story in which he, say, has sex with himself from another dimension or embarks upon an uncomfortable relationship with David Mitchell, and then he will review it scathingly on something called Internetwipe and you will have no choice but to abandon the Internet and cry.

Speaking of fanfiction by which Mr Brooker would be unimpressed: last night, I found myself wondering about the feasibility of a fic about the slightly painful and ultimately doomed relationship between Brooker and Mitchell, narrated at least in part in the style of a Screenwipe episode. Even as Brooker's relationship breaks down, he can't keep his mind from rewriting his real life and making comments as if it were just another piece of crap television.

This is either a brilliant idea or a truly dreadful one. Either way, I'd love to read it.

* Said Screenwipe uploads are here, if you're curious, and well worth watching if you're interested in television as a medium, if you're interested in Charlie Brooker, or if you just take a masochistic pleasure in being verbally abused by the presenter of the programme you're watching. As Brooker himself has linked to them online, I can't imagine he'll object to my linking you. What he'd think of the rest of this entry is another matter. Let's hope he doesn't stumble across it.


Finally: here is a delightful clip from The Big Fat Quiz of the Year 2009, in which all the contestants (David Mitchell and Charlie Brooker amongst them, and I do hope they're on more panel shows together in the future) poke fun at Jimmy Carr, the host, for his incredibly grating laugh. It is only three minutes long and makes me grin until my face hurts. Enjoy!

Comments

[anewcitylife.livejournal.com]

See, now you've said that about Charlie Brooker finding fanfic of himself online I want to write it just so that he'll find it. Under a pseudonym of course.

[rionaleonhart]

It would certainly be interesting! If slightly mortifying. I sort of want to encourage you just so I'll have some Brooker fanfiction to read.

[anewcitylife.livejournal.com]

I'm immune to mortification if it's someone I'll never ever meet. I haven't written fic in years but I really desperately want to start again... it's just a matter of a dearth of ideas.

[misskass.livejournal.com]

Psst psst, your mere mention of his name might be bringing him to your journal right now, where he will find your thoughts on Derren Brown and give them to him in person (assuming he hasn't already stolen them directly from your brain) and then the whole world will know that you ship Derren/glass and probably Brooker/Derren/glass and maybe glass/Brooker/Derren because everybody knows that glass tops everything.

Or maybe I'm just thinking too hard about this.

[rionaleonhart]

You have actually ripped my worries directly from my mind, and so I am forced to wonder: are you Derren Brown?

I would metaphorically be all over Brooker/Derren/glass.

[serriadh.livejournal.com]

I would love Derren to paint Brooker.

[apiphile.livejournal.com]

Portrait, or paint-on-skin?

*vibrates slightly*

[serriadh.livejournal.com]

Both. Largely, though not only, because Charlie would find either absolutely excruciating.

Derren could use 'painting a portrait' as a pretext to get Charlie around for some skin-painting, though.

[apiphile.livejournal.com]

"You said you were painting a portrait!"

"Yes. I didn't say what I was painting it on."

[sunlightdances.livejournal.com]

When I saw The End of Time, with Tennant on broken glass, I thought that Derren Brown must have somehow made that happen just to make Riona happy. THAT WAS MY FIRST THOUGHT.

[rionaleonhart]

Ahahaha! Oh, dear, the things with which people associate me.

[apiphile.livejournal.com]

*grump* Excuse ME, I think you'll find I've written Brookerfic. :P

[rionaleonhart]

...and, er, where might I find that you've written Brookerfic?

[apiphile.livejournal.com]

I have this handy tag, so you C&P /tag/fic+index and then keep scrolling. It's probably under Fanfic > Misc, but it's there.

[rionaleonhart]

For anyone who passes by and wants to read it: it is here.

For apiphile: YOU ARE AMAZING. I am not familiar with Coren, but your Brooker-narration is freakishly perfect. From 'with the tone Vicky's taking he'd be able to hear her if he was on the other side of five feet of reinforced concrete. Three miles away. From the airport in a different country. With earplugs in. And clinically deaf. And also dead', I was reading with the most ridiculous expression of delight on my face.

Also it was really rather hot.

[apiphile.livejournal.com]

It came about because ihavecake and I were at a radio pilot recording where the two of them engaged in bitching flirting for the entire thing, and then we watched an episode of You Have Been Watching where Ms Coren was on being disgusted and annoyed and Charlie kept effectively pulling her pigtails and giggling. THEY ARE HAVING ALL THE SEX.

[sunlightdances.livejournal.com]

*flails* EPIC.

[anewcitylife.livejournal.com]

I just went back through your fic archive and found it. Hooooly fuck. (I also found your Being Human fic; kudos for that, too! I've been struggling to find good George/Mitchell since the pilot.)

[apiphile.livejournal.com]

Hurrah! That was ...pilot!Mitchell rather than series Mitchell, alas.

[arewenearly.livejournal.com]

I'm SO happy Charlie is back on the screen - love him! :)

[rionaleonhart]

He is wonderful! I only discovered him about a week ago, and I am already a little bit smitten.

(Hello, stranger! It's nice to meet you.)

[reipan.livejournal.com]

You are a wonderful, wonderful weirdo. <3

[rionaleonhart]

Something is quite possibly seriously wrong with me. But ♥ to you as well!

[clanwilliam.livejournal.com]

In fairness I should point out that Brooker's rise started with TV Go Home, his website where he parodied listings, and where Nathan Barley was born. So he's been on the web since before you could use a computer.

Bet you're feeling young now... *g*

[rionaleonhart]

I actually knew that, because my dad read TV Go Home and, I seem to recall, unwisely allowed me to read it as an impressionable child. Who knows how Charlie Brooker might have influenced me before I even knew his name? There's an alarming thought.

[clanwilliam.livejournal.com]

Which means Charlie Brooker is either reading this and laughing evilly or, more likely, has slumped at his desk and is moaning "WHAT HAVE I DONE?"

[arewenearly.livejournal.com]

Hello!

Yes, I an avid Brooker fan - if you read the guardian, every Monday he writes an article - fantastic stuff! :)

[amy-wolf.livejournal.com]

I suppose it may be in part down to the fact that Brooker seems a fairly Internet-savvy chap. If he can find unofficial uploads of Screenwipe on YouTube* and display them in a later episode, thus creating a confusing recursion for those also watching that later episode on YouTube, he can probably find your story in which he, say, has sex with himself from another dimension or embarks upon an uncomfortable relationship with David Mitchell, and then he will review it scathingly on something called Internetwipe and you will have no choice but to abandon the Internet and cry.

See, now I want you to write fic, and put it up somewhere, just so some anonymous person can make a Charlie Brooker-type comment on it and leave you completely confused.

[rionaleonhart]

'Some anonymous person', hmmm, amy_wolf?

(Incidentally, if I thought there were even the slightest chance that the commenter was actually Brooker, that would be highly alarming.)

[amy-wolf.livejournal.com]

Yes. Because I am every anonymous person in the world! Or at least all of the ones you run into. Except I didn't send the Help Haiti thing, so it must have been Charlie Brooker.

Now if you do write that fic, and someone does follow through with that idea, you're immediately going to suspect me, even if it really is Charlie Brooker.

[aderyn.livejournal.com]

They are running an advert for Newswipe this week which opens with Brooker saying 'Hello sexy' and it makes me feel wibbly inside!

(ps. I've friended you as I can always use moar Brooker on my flist!)

[rionaleonhart]

I have to confess that I went straight to YouTube after reading this comment, but, alas, no being addressed as 'sexy' by Charlie Brooker was to be had.

And hello! It's nice to meet you, especially as you are a Brooker fan and have a Mitchell and Webb icon, both solid scientific proof of your being an excellent person. I should probably warn you, though, if you're thinking of adding me specifically because of my Brooker entries, that I am appallingly fickle and flit between fandoms like a deranged butterfly, assuming the butterfly to be capable of using a computer and inclined to move about fandoms in much the same way as that in which it moves about in physical space.

I didn't really know where that paragraph was going when I began it, and I'm not sure it ended in a place that made a great deal of sense, but I'm going to leave it as it is. What I mean is that, whilst I'm talking a lot about Brooker at the moment, I can't guarantee I'll keep that up for long. If you don't mind fandom-hopping, though, friend away!

[mythtaken.livejournal.com]

Your enthusing about Charlie Brooker is making me SO HAPPY.

It's unsettlingly erotic.
ISN'T IT. And then he had a Comment is Free column in the Guardian the other day all about how everything tastes better when it's smothered in Cadbury's Dairy Milk chocolate and it gave me such thoughts.

Regarding Brooker and Mitchell being in panel shows together - have you seen You Have Been Watching (http://www.megavideo.com/?v=E1ORBJGP)? There's a bit where they're very cynical about the existance of angels; which I am totally counting as them teaming up to fight the supernatural with sarcasm.

[rionaleonhart]

I have you to thank for introducing me to him! I'd heard of him before, obviously, but I'd never have checked Newswipe out had you not mentioned it.

And I have indeed seen that You Have Been Watching episode! I do hope Mitchell is on it again in the future. Or Brooker comes back on Would I Lie to You?

[lostambitions.livejournal.com]

I just discovered Charlie Brooker tonight and my brain is broken.

[rionaleonhart]

He can be slightly brain-breaking. I wish you a speedy mental recovery!