I'll Ignore The Latter Part Of Your Utterance.

[rionaleonhart]

Charlie Brooker wished the man who uploads his programmes onto YouTube a happy birthday via Twitter! I find this ridiculously endearing. Also endearing: David Mitchell. 'Slightly upset that @Cheesoid, a robot in a sketch I wrote, isn't even following me. Hate self! Hate self!'

I was initially confused about the purpose of Twitter, but I have now realised that its primary function lies in allowing celebrities to be completely adorable. I'm all for that. And I have absolutely no idea why the Cheesoid sketch amuses me as much as it does.

Speaking of Brooker and Mitchell, as if I haven't been speaking about them constantly for the past month: my fic-in-progress in which Gym Leader Brooker teaches Mitchell to be a Pokémon trainer is at four thousand words and counting.

On the one hand, it feels so good to be writing again. On the other: this is ridiculous. It is an absurd crossover AU for a barely-existent fandom! I still have fifteen thousand words to write for university! But I am having so much fun.


Here are some confusing scribblings I have found in my not-very-academic academic diary recently:

- right-wing children's book: Hitler Has Two Mommies (I think this was probably based on a mishearing.)
- There is a guy at my university who looks like Gang Leader Joe Jonas. (Or perhaps just a gang member? In any case, he's in a gang.)
- Lovesick Student Breaks Into Morgue With Axe (I saw this on a newspaper billboard and noted it down with the intention of finding out the story behind it later. I'm still wondering.)
- The crossroads demon in 'I Know What You Did Last Summer' (the Supernatural episode) is oddly reminiscent of Derren Brown. Note that Sam, of course, would have snogged this demon had he succeeded in making a deal. (Intriguing.)
- you can see the kittens he's eaten swimming in his eyes. (deranged thought about Owen Harper had in the process of w[unclear]king. WAKING, not WANKING.)
- Man-Spider: rather rubbish spider superhero. A SPIDER WITH THE POWERS OF A MAN.

Also, I just came across the line 'Does Jane ogle Rigsby at the end there?' and, as my handwriting is terrible, misread it as 'Does Jane ogle Ruby at the end there?'

Patrick Jane/Ruby of Supernatural? He would infuriate her. She would scare him, although he'd disguise it fairly effectively. I'd read it. (Perhaps Jane is one of the psychic children and deeply in denial about it! Ruby will help you develop your powers, Jane.)

Comments

[wanttobeatree.livejournal.com]

I wonder what kind of adventures Man-Spider would have... He works in an office! KAPOW! He puts the kettle on! ZOOM! He opens his post with his eight legs and it's all bills!

[rionaleonhart]

I imagine he's a bit like Chicken-Boo of Animaniacs: he's just a giant spider going about human tasks, but almost nobody can tell he's a spider because he is wearing a hat.

[wanttobeatree.livejournal.com]

AND A TIE. Nobody will take the giant spider seriously as a human if he isn't wearing a tie.

[th-esaurus.livejournal.com]

Man-Spider: rather rubbish spider superhero.

I'm almost certain I've seen this in a sketch show of some sort. (Aha! He was one of the villains in Burnt Face Man (http://www.burntfaceman.com/). I remember now.)

There is a guy at my university who looks like Gang Leader Joe Jonas.

I am requesting an MS Paint deptiction of this guy.

[rionaleonhart]

I have never seen Burnt Face Man before. Obviously the creator must have stolen the concept from my head.

I CAN'T DRAW. He just looks like Joe Jonas with a menacing expression! A bit like the Joe Jonas in your icon, but slightly menacinger.

my mental picture

[th-esaurus.livejournal.com]

Re: my mental picture

[rionaleonhart]

NOT SCARY ENOUGH. Whenever I see this guy around campus, it's very tempting to stare, because he looks like Joe Jonas, but I cannot stare because he also looks as if he is going to kill me.

Also, he doesn't have the ridiculous facial hair.

Re: my mental picture

[th-esaurus.livejournal.com]

I have no pictures of Joe Jonas where he looks like he's going to kill anyone )8 The closest I have is 'looking mildly disgruntled at the paparazzi'.

Sort of related: I saw a man in the street who, on first glance and from a distance, looked like Derren Brown! (Spoiler: he did not actually look like Derren Brown.)

[reipan.livejournal.com]

Unrelated to pretty much everything you've written, but I met someone the other day who went to the same school as Derren Brown and was taught swimming by his dad. WHOO. YEAH.

[rionaleonhart]

Whoo indeed! Be aware of the possibility that Brown may have implanted sinister suggestions in this person's mind many years ago and they could be triggered at any moment.

[apiphile.livejournal.com]

The other purpose of Twitter, ime, is to allow celebrities to flirt like crazy. Ben Goldacre and Robin Ince are especially good for this.

you can see the kittens he's eaten swimming in his eyes

You sound like Charlie Brooker. :D

[rionaleonhart]

Oh, I do wish Brooker and Mitchell would flirt over Twitter. Or even just converse more. The rare exchanges they do have are delightful, though (1 2 3, 1 2 3 4).

It would have been more Charlie Brooker had I actually had that thought in the process of wanking.

[apiphile.livejournal.com]

Things I have gleaned from that exchange:

1. Charlie Brooker is a massive sub.
2. David Mitchell isn't.
3. CHARLIE BROOKER USES WRITE OR DIE. <3 <3 <3
4. I am slightly too invested in this.

[littlemoose.livejournal.com]

I am also slightly cheered by the thought that Charlie Brooker also uses Write or Die (David Mitchell's response to WoD is the most bizarrely adorable thing I've read in ages) :D

[littlered2.livejournal.com]

I Googled the axe headline - in case you haven't, it's an article from the Argus, here (http://www.theargus.co.uk/news/4776152.Bognor_student_breaks_into_morgue_to_check_if_girl_is_dead/).

[rionaleonhart]

Oh, thank you so much! I'd tried Googling it, but didn't manage to find that, possibly because I'd put the phrase in quotation marks. What a delightfully odd story.

[darkest-alchemy.livejournal.com]

"Lovesick Student Breaks Into Morgue With Axe"
That's... odd. Because nothing says 'I love you' like a stolen corpse?

"The crossroads demon in 'I Know What You Did Last Summer' (the Supernatural episode) is oddly reminiscent of Derren Brown."
*starts giggling*
In my crossover fic (in which Derren is... not quite human), he tells Sam (Tyler, not Winchester unfortunately) about how he used to hang about at crossroads. I'm not sure he was making deals though, he was probably just messing with peoples' heads.

[rionaleonhart]

littlered2 has located the article; apparently the student became convinced for no good reason that the object of his affections was dead and broke into the morgue to see whether her body was there. Bizarre!

In my crossover fic (in which Derren is... not quite human), he tells Sam (Tyler, not Winchester unfortunately) about how he used to hang about at crossroads.

Hee! Derren Brown would make such a good crossroads demon.

[darkest-alchemy.livejournal.com]

Weird. I don't know whether that's really sad or just really really creepy

I was going to say it would make so much sense Derren being the crossroads demon who appeared to Sam except the timing is out, but then I remembered that time travel is canonical in both SPN and my crossover. I must ponder this. (I really really really want to put Sam Winchester in it - and Ruby - but I can't figure out how to put 2 Sams in without confusing anyone who might read it, and myself)

[rionaleonhart]

You could refer to Sam Tyler as 'Tyler' to avoid confusion, I suppose. He's usually referred to as 'Tyler' in canon, isn't he?

[darkest-alchemy.livejournal.com]

Gene calls him about 6 different names. LOL
Annie calls him Sam though, and his mum, and Test Card Girl does. I always think of him as Sam. I think it would throw me out more calling one character by his surname when everyone else is referred to by their first name (well, those that have first names and surnames) than it would having 2 characters with the same name.

I really need a LoM icon.

[dracothelizard.livejournal.com]

That XTheMusic person is brilliant! And I rather like Gameswipe, even if Dara O'Briain and his ideas on improving Rock Band by adding a 'give the promotor a blowjob' level are a bit worrying.

[rionaleonhart]

I adore xthemusic for his uploads, and I love the fact that Brooker not only doesn't mind the uploading but actively approves of it. I suppose copyright issues would make DVD releases of Screenwipe rather tricky, so there's no reason for him to object, but I am still terribly charmed by that 'Happy birthday @xthemusic' tweet.

O'Briain does sort of have a point: with a game like Rock Band, there's no real need to force you to unlock the songs you really want to play. Although perhaps the 'blowjob level' isn't the answer.

(And I loved Gameswipe, unsurprisingly. I love videogames; I love Charlie Brooker; combine the two and I am already delighted. I really, really hope a full series is made at some point.)

[dracothelizard.livejournal.com]

It's so nice to see people go 'I love games!' and not be ashamed about it and without being all 'oh yes and they're also secretly EVIL and teach kids to kill!'

[amy-wolf.livejournal.com]

I really, really, really want to read Man-Spider.

Does Owen have swimmy dead kittens in his eyes? (I get horribly confused because every day my commute to work takes me past Ram Jattan's, and part of my brain insists on transposing letters, so I frequently go "Huh, Rat Jam...tan's? Ah, no!"

The fic you're writing when you have a deadline for something else is often the most satisfying fic to write.

[rionaleonhart]

I have never noticed any kittens swimming in Owen's eyes; I just woke up one morning with nothing but the line 'you can see the kittens he's eating swimming in his eyes' and the knowledge that it applied to Owen Harper in my mind. So, naturally, I had to write it down. You never know when an inexplicable waking thought might come in handy!

It's really nice to have ficwriting as a distraction from university work, I have to admit, but it is a little frustrating to know that, were I capable of writing essays at the pace at which I've been writing about Brooker and Mitchell in the world of Pokémon over the past couple of days, I could have all my work done in a fortnight. (Wouldn't be having nearly as much fun, though.)

[amy-wolf.livejournal.com]

I've tried writing down all of the weird lines that pop into my head, but I tend to get these weird dialogues, and end up going "Who are you people and what the hell are you talking about?"

Yeah, sadly that never works as well.

[fera_festiva]

I LOVE MAN-SPIDER. In fact, I love all crap superheroes built to this model. Toilet Duck! A duck bitten by a radioactive toilet! With all the powers of a toilet! Does whatever a toilet can!

I'm 12 by the way.

[rionaleonhart]

As I just burst out laughing at 'Toilet Duck', apparently you are not the only twelve-year-old here!

[fera_festiva]

I think this is what he looks like.

[rionaleonhart]

It took me a worryingly long time to notice the handle. (My goodness, that duck looks pleased with itself.)

[fera_festiva]

... It really does look rather smug, now I look at it more closely. Ulp.

[amy-wolf.livejournal.com]

I love him! I want him to have exciting adventures!

[fera_festiva]

I reckon that's him on his way to one. His lavatory-senses are tingling. When he gets there, he'll... I dunno, flush a bunch of times. Maybe someone will sit on him for half an hour and read the paper.

[subtle-rift.livejournal.com]

Behold; Flamethrower-Charizard!







Specifically, it's a Charizard with the ability to throw flame!

[rionaleonhart]

I wish there were a toilet-cleaning product called 'Flamethrower-Charizard'. I think that would be fantastic.

[subtle-rift.livejournal.com]

Standing up, Ash collected his trousers from around his ankles, and congratulated himself of a job well done. Catching a glimpse of the toilet bowl, he grimaced. Misty would have a go at him if he just left it to slowly be eroded by successive flushes, and that would lead to the bicycle argument - again - so shunning the brush, he rummaged around in the cabinet behind the toilet duck and Brock's asphyxiwank belt until he found one of his first pokéballs. With insufficient room to cast the ball, he just waved it around it his head a few times making wind noises with his mouth until he felt it start to open (pokéballs are easily fooled) then hastily dropped it in the bath. With that duhpyuuuu noise that accompanied the 'sending out' of pokémon, Charizard appeared! Even stooping to keep his ancient reptilian head from breaking through the ceiling (because of the asbestos) and without room to unfurl his magnificent wings, he was a beautiful animal, and even filling the bathroom as he did, his movements were nothing but elegant as he gracefully repositioned himself to face the master he so faithfully served.

"Hey Charizard", said Ash, suddenly aware that it had been several years since Charizard had been sent out anywhere other than this room, "I'm afraid I'm still banned from the pokéleague after that pokécommittee declared that it was still pokéracist to use pokéracial slurs even if you're addressing pokémon whom you previously named with said pokéracial slurs. Say, would you mind terribly blasting my shit off the back of the toilet?"

A weird mushroom thing floated out of Charizard's mouth as he sighed. Ash would have consider taking him to the pokécenter to get it checked out, but it's not like Charizard getting cancer even mattered anymore. Floating mushrooms would be cancer, right? I mean what else could it be?

By this point, Charizard had finished fireblasting the toilet. The wallpaper behind was understandably charred, revealing the underlying brickwork, which had also started to bubble a bit, but that was OK because Misty'd paid the deposit. Ash flushed the toilet again to replace the water that had been boiled away. The bowl shattered as the water flowed over it.

"Why did that happen?" pondered Ash aloud. Turing to the forth-wall he pointed to Charizard and said "Flamethrower-Charizard is the product of choice for pokémon trainers who find using a toilet brush undignified!"

Charlie Brooker turned off the TV and turned to the camera himself. "That was a confusing advert" he said.

[rionaleonhart]

I honestly do not know what to say to this.

I'm amused, but I think somewhere my inner child is crying.

[cryforthemoon.livejournal.com]

This entry is made of win. And Mitchell-Brooker cute.