Riona (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rionaleonhart) wrote2006-02-28 10:09 pm
rionaleonhart) wrote2006-02-28 10:09 pm
HA HA I HAVE THEORISED YOU.
The Broccoli Test is a meme that was going around a while ago, and that I’ve only decided to do just now, because I’m slow like that. It is a Test of Compatibility.
The rules are these:
One half of a couple is standing in the fresh vegetable aisle of a large supermarket. The other half is on the other side of the shop. The two can see each other, but cannot communicate verbally. Can the other half convey to the one in the vegetable aisle that he wants broccoli?
I am not going to do it for Fullmetal Alchemist, because![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
cmshaw has already done that perfectly here. Behind the cut, therefore, are the Broccoli Test results for assorted pairings from Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VIII, Final Fantasy X-2, Silent Hill 2, The Aeneid for some reason, Sherlock Holmes, Harry Potter, my NaNo and, um, my friendslist.
Zell flails around, using an elaborate sign language of his own invention that he has unfortunately neglected to teach to anyone else. Squall watches him for a moment with his eyebrows raised, completely unaware that Zell is actually trying to communicate something to him, and then blocks him out and heads towards the checkout. If Squall wants broccoli, the thought of signalling to Zell never even occurs to him; he just goes and picks it up himself.
Despite her best efforts, Squall just doesn’t seem able to understand Rinoa’s indications that he should get the broccoli. She worries about this for days afterwards.
Seifer doesn’t want broccoli. If anyone signals to him to get broccoli, he understands perfectly but completely ignores it, or gets something that he knows they’ll hate out of spite. If Seifer were to signal to Zell that he wanted broccoli, Zell would realise what he meant after about a quarter of an hour’s confusion, and then spend the rest of the shopping trip mumbling ‘...what a jerk, wants me to buy broccoli’.
Xu raises a hand, and Quistis nods and picks up the broccoli immediately. When Quistis wants the broccoli, she looks up to signal to Xu, but sees that she’s already putting it into the trolley. They are the most efficient broccoli-getters ever.
Cloud’s signals could mean anything from ‘please get the broccoli’ to ‘ARGH I THINK MY TROUSERS ARE ON FIRE’. Pyramid Head does not bother trying to interpret them, because he is happily decapitating shoppers.
Baralai signals to get the broccoli. Gippal understands, but returns with a completely indecipherable signal intended to convey ‘Who wants broccoli? C’mon, let’s go and get completely drunk.’ Baralai, who doesn’t quite understand what Gippal means but can guess what the gist probably is, rolls his eyes and goes to get it himself.
Mary, thinking that she should probably pick up the broccoli later, sees James in the vegetable section and attempts jokingly to mime a request, not really expecting him to get it. James, realising that she wants something and terrified by the thought of letting her down, picks up everything in the vicinity that he thinks she might possibly want. He fails to get the broccoli.
As soon as Aeneas glances up at her, Dido knows what he wants and picks up as much broccoli as she can carry. Conversely, when Dido wants broccoli, Aeneas stares at her signals in utter incomprehension and says afterwards that he thought she was just having a fit.
Sherlock can easily deduce that Watson wants broccoli from the way in which he is standing and the direction in which his eyes flicker without Watson even having to ask. However, as he considers this type of deduction incredibly simple and basic, he does not bother indicating that he wants broccoli to Watson, and so, of course, Watson fails to get it.
Harry attempts clumsily to mime his request to Ron. Ron looks very confused for a moment, and then comprehension appears to dawn. When Harry asks for the broccoli that evening, Ron looks startled and then launches into an argument of why Harry’s signal was obviously indicating that he wanted potatoes. Hermione has an unfair advantage in the broccoli test, because she always picks up the broccoli immediately, regardless of whether her partner wants it or not.
As for Draco Malfoy and Charlie Weasley, a crackpairing that I’m only doing this test for becausereipan told me to: Draco, struck with a sudden craving for broccoli, is just reaching for it when he notices something out of the corner of his eye. Turning, he sees Charlie waving at him, and after a moment works out that he is asking for broccoli. He pauses, and then decides not to get it after all.
thebaconfat and squeemu SHARE A BRAIN, so if one wants broccoli the other does too. It is very convenient I am sure.
Avarus' signals are a little clumsy and overdramatic, but Tai manages to work out what he wants after a few moments' confusion. When Tai wants broccoli, however, Avarus doesn't seem able to understand what he wants, no matter how clear he makes his signals. After half an hour of this (although it has occurred to Tai to get the broccoli himself, he has taken to considering this a project that Should Be Finished), Tai storms out of the shop, immensely frustrated. Avarus attempts to make it up to him by buying him a cauliflower in the hope that that was what he wanted. Tai rolls his eyes and mutters Dark Things under his breath, but eventually he accepts the cauliflower and thanks Avarus.
The rules are these:
One half of a couple is standing in the fresh vegetable aisle of a large supermarket. The other half is on the other side of the shop. The two can see each other, but cannot communicate verbally. Can the other half convey to the one in the vegetable aisle that he wants broccoli?
I am not going to do it for Fullmetal Alchemist, because
cmshaw has already done that perfectly here. Behind the cut, therefore, are the Broccoli Test results for assorted pairings from Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VIII, Final Fantasy X-2, Silent Hill 2, The Aeneid for some reason, Sherlock Holmes, Harry Potter, my NaNo and, um, my friendslist.Zell flails around, using an elaborate sign language of his own invention that he has unfortunately neglected to teach to anyone else. Squall watches him for a moment with his eyebrows raised, completely unaware that Zell is actually trying to communicate something to him, and then blocks him out and heads towards the checkout. If Squall wants broccoli, the thought of signalling to Zell never even occurs to him; he just goes and picks it up himself.
Despite her best efforts, Squall just doesn’t seem able to understand Rinoa’s indications that he should get the broccoli. She worries about this for days afterwards.
Seifer doesn’t want broccoli. If anyone signals to him to get broccoli, he understands perfectly but completely ignores it, or gets something that he knows they’ll hate out of spite. If Seifer were to signal to Zell that he wanted broccoli, Zell would realise what he meant after about a quarter of an hour’s confusion, and then spend the rest of the shopping trip mumbling ‘...what a jerk, wants me to buy broccoli’.
Xu raises a hand, and Quistis nods and picks up the broccoli immediately. When Quistis wants the broccoli, she looks up to signal to Xu, but sees that she’s already putting it into the trolley. They are the most efficient broccoli-getters ever.
Cloud’s signals could mean anything from ‘please get the broccoli’ to ‘ARGH I THINK MY TROUSERS ARE ON FIRE’. Pyramid Head does not bother trying to interpret them, because he is happily decapitating shoppers.
Baralai signals to get the broccoli. Gippal understands, but returns with a completely indecipherable signal intended to convey ‘Who wants broccoli? C’mon, let’s go and get completely drunk.’ Baralai, who doesn’t quite understand what Gippal means but can guess what the gist probably is, rolls his eyes and goes to get it himself.
Mary, thinking that she should probably pick up the broccoli later, sees James in the vegetable section and attempts jokingly to mime a request, not really expecting him to get it. James, realising that she wants something and terrified by the thought of letting her down, picks up everything in the vicinity that he thinks she might possibly want. He fails to get the broccoli.
As soon as Aeneas glances up at her, Dido knows what he wants and picks up as much broccoli as she can carry. Conversely, when Dido wants broccoli, Aeneas stares at her signals in utter incomprehension and says afterwards that he thought she was just having a fit.
Sherlock can easily deduce that Watson wants broccoli from the way in which he is standing and the direction in which his eyes flicker without Watson even having to ask. However, as he considers this type of deduction incredibly simple and basic, he does not bother indicating that he wants broccoli to Watson, and so, of course, Watson fails to get it.
Harry attempts clumsily to mime his request to Ron. Ron looks very confused for a moment, and then comprehension appears to dawn. When Harry asks for the broccoli that evening, Ron looks startled and then launches into an argument of why Harry’s signal was obviously indicating that he wanted potatoes. Hermione has an unfair advantage in the broccoli test, because she always picks up the broccoli immediately, regardless of whether her partner wants it or not.
As for Draco Malfoy and Charlie Weasley, a crackpairing that I’m only doing this test for because
reipan told me to: Draco, struck with a sudden craving for broccoli, is just reaching for it when he notices something out of the corner of his eye. Turning, he sees Charlie waving at him, and after a moment works out that he is asking for broccoli. He pauses, and then decides not to get it after all.thebaconfat and squeemu SHARE A BRAIN, so if one wants broccoli the other does too. It is very convenient I am sure.Avarus' signals are a little clumsy and overdramatic, but Tai manages to work out what he wants after a few moments' confusion. When Tai wants broccoli, however, Avarus doesn't seem able to understand what he wants, no matter how clear he makes his signals. After half an hour of this (although it has occurred to Tai to get the broccoli himself, he has taken to considering this a project that Should Be Finished), Tai storms out of the shop, immensely frustrated. Avarus attempts to make it up to him by buying him a cauliflower in the hope that that was what he wanted. Tai rolls his eyes and mutters Dark Things under his breath, but eventually he accepts the cauliflower and thanks Avarus.
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STOP. STOP. I CAN'T BREATHE! zomgzomgLOL.
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AWWWWW.
Cloud’s signals could mean anything from ‘please get the broccoli’ to ‘ARGH I THINK MY TROUSERS ARE ON FIRE’. Pyramid Head does not bother trying to interpret them, because he is happily decapitating shoppers.
...UHHHHH. (hee)
Mary, thinking that she should probably pick up the broccoli later, sees James in the vegetable section and attempts jokingly to mime a request, not really expecting him to get it. James, realising that she wants something and terrified by the thought of letting her down, picks up everything in the vicinity that he thinks she might possibly want. He fails to get the broccoli.
God, he does this every Friday.
Dude, this thing totally looks like fun.
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Zell flails around, using an elaborate sign language of his own invention that he has unfortunately neglected to teach to anyone else.
I am sorry, most of my responses to these things are going to be "LOL LOL <3 <3 <3 so true LOLZ."
Despite her best efforts, Squall just doesn’t seem able to understand Rinoa’s indications that he should get the broccoli. She worries about this for days afterwards.
You are right about everything ever. James and Mary! Seifer and Zell! Holmes and Watson! So much LOl, and so many <3's.
I would like to say something here other than YOU ARE WONDERFUL, but, uh, I got nothin'. HEY POST MORE OF YOUR NANO
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XD it was all greay, but this was my favorite line. You said it with such exuberance.
This is an awesome, awesome meme.
And I like broccoli...
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Pyramid Head does not bother trying to interpret them, because he is happily decapitating shoppers.
LOLOL! LOL. That's probably the only reason why he's even there. He doesn't want food, he just wants to decapitate some people.
Also, da-ang. Who'd'a thought broccoli tests could get so deep? With James and Mary, I mean, not Pyramid Head. Also Squall and Rinoa! And I am totally heeing about Holmes and Watson.
WHAT ABOUT DOCTOR WHO???? WHAT ABOUT THEIR BROCCOLI?
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Rose would probably assume that Jack's antics were some kind of bizarre fiftieth-century courtship dance.
I think that
The Doctor will see Jack signalling frantically at him from the other end of the aisle, assume Jack is asking him to buy the attractive blonde lady currently picking up some broccoli next to him, and pass the fruit+veg section by.
Rose would try yelling, but when she realised the Doctor couldn't hear her she would wave, trying to attract his attention. He would see her, charge down the aisle and ask her what was wrong. She would stare at him for a moment and then explain that she only wanted broccoli, there aren't any giant mutant celery sticks attacking her.
Then the giant mutant celery would attack.
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I also spent five minutes trying to figure out if there was a word for a person who just ate meat. I mean, a word that wasn't carnivorous, we don't exactly call vegetarians herbivorous, do we? Well, I don't. And then I tried to decide if plants that ate other plants were considered cannibals. And THEN I realized that she probably just soaks up sun-rays or something, BUT THERE ARE VENUS FLY TRAPS YOU KNOW SO MAYBE SOME EAT MEAT.
I bet that Jack's antics would be some sort of bizarre courtship dance. It'd be like a double-entendre, but with gestures instead. It'd mean both, "GET SOME BROCCOLI!" and also, "I WOULD BE TOTALLY COOL WITH MAKING OUT IF YOU'RE OKAY WITH IT."
*ROFL* So true. Giant mutant celery.
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SQUEEM, DID YOU SEE? WE'RE A PAIRING, LOL HIGH FIVE!
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At least with chocolate you always win in some way. Even if Rose didn't want it, Mickey could eat it. And if Mickey didn't want it, I'm sure either Jack or the Doctor would.