I Do Not Intend To Have Jonathan Ross Write A Chapter, However.

Getting actual things through the post really is the best thing ever. I don't know why I haven't given out my address before! Well, actually, I know perfectly well why I haven't given it out before; it's because I'm horribly paranoid and it's clearly only a matter of time before darthfi or jantalaimon sends me a severed leg. But still, dracothelizard sent me a card! With a dog on it! I AM NOT REMOTELY SURPRISED BY THIS. It's not a Labradoodle, though. Also, she orders me to corrupt the people of this noble institution into writing crackfic. I shall try.

I'm still working on my gigantic crossover project, albeit slowly. Part of my problem is that I keep thinking of ideas that I would love to include and then can't work out how I could possibly link them into the main plot. Awesome as it would be to have the Master, Professor Moriarty, Team Rocket, Zombie Piers Morgan, Kefka, Dr. Cid from Final Fantasy XII and quite possibly Iago from Othello all team up in the Pokémon world, I can't really include it, because a) quite a number of them are probably too proud to work with others, and b) what on Earth would I do with them? Alas.

I would like to get Zombie Piers Morgan into the fic somewhere, though. I don't know why he didn't occur to me before.

(P.S. kadrin HAS WRITTEN POKÉMON/SILENT HILL AND IT IS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING. READ IT.)

"It's The Worst Hospital In The World."

_afterism has just been visiting! After a rather slow start, during which I swore at my computer a lot (it had inexplicably deleted my word processor of choice! ...which, er, appears to have inexplicably returned suddenly. I LOVE YOU, VIRGIL, AND I AM SORRY THAT I SHOUTED AT YOU SO MUCH TODAY) and we had many, many awkward silences (I've met nineteen people from Livejournal now, and I never get any better at it), we settled down to watch the Doctor Who movie; the Eighth Doctor's first and final appearance on-screen.

It was amazing.

I mean, it was dreadful. Much of the acting was dreadful; the plot was dreadful; it was ridiculously melodramatic. But the Eighth Doctor was absolutely charming and adorable and captured my heart in a way the Tenth Doctor hasn't even touched it, and oh, I wish he had been around for longer. How I wish.

YES, MY TWO FAVOURITE DOCTORS ARE EIGHT AND NINE. THE TWO WHO HAVE HAD LESS SCREENTIME COMBINED THAN ANY OTHER DOCTOR. FANTASTIC. (Although, to be fair, Ten and One are the only other Doctors I've seen a significant amount of. Maybe I would develop a passionate and unusual love for Six if I saw him in action.)

I might have been able to get past the physical appearance, but I cannot hear Paul McGann's voice without thinking of Withnail and I. This was not helped by my sudden realisation half-way through that the Master, with his hair slicked back and his green eyes of insanity covered, sort of bore a passing resemblance to Withnail.

Due in quite a large part to _afterism's comments during and after the film, I now feel a horrible compulsion to write the following things:

- Withnail meeting the Eighth Doctor and being really confused. (The Eighth Doctor would probably mistake Withnail for the Master at first. After all the confusion has been cleared up (although Withnail will probably still occasionally insist 'Of course you're him! You don't have a name either!', entirely disregarding the Doctor's protests that not bothering to learn someone's name does not necessarily mean that they don't have one), the two of them will somehow end up travelling together. Withnail would be the worst companion ever.)
- The Eighth Doctor being attacked by puppies. Possibly zombie puppies.
- Possibly zombie Labradoodle puppies.
- Withnail, the newly-regenerated Eighth Doctor and Zombie Piers Morgan hanging out in a morgue. For 'hanging', you should probably read 'freaking'. (I think this is because of her comment during the morgue scene: "I'd never be able to work in a morgue. I'd be too afraid of zombies." Not sure how Withnail got in there, though.)

('Eighth' is a really strange word.)

Did I mention how hilariously over-the-top the film was? I was laughing helplessly at every single dramatic scene. Particular favourites were the Doctor falling to his knees and howling at his reflection, and the first time the Doctor and the Master met in their respective new bodies, when the shot dramatically switched from one to the other just enough times to be absolutely ridiculous. (I was glad to see that the homoerotic subtext between the Master and the Doctor was still going strong back in 1996.)

Also, why on Earth would you have something in your TARDIS that could only be activated by human eyes, allowed anyone nearby to see what you were seeing and destroyed the Universe if left open for too long? When is that going to be of any use at all?

Also also, after watching that, I have to wonder why the fandom threw A Bit Of A Fit at every implication that the Doctor may not be completely asexual in the new series. Because, y'know...

(EDIT: Oh, and: "She kiss as good as me?" "As well as you." I LOVE YOU, MASTER.)