Stuck In My Head Again.

[rionaleonhart]

This year's been a bit of a psychological struggle. I miss being enthusiastic about things! But there's still love and kindness in the world, and I'm grateful for all of you.

(I don't want to go into the state of my head in any great detail, but, to clarify any worries, I'm not in danger and the people I love are okay. I'm just having a lengthy existential crisis that's making it hard to concentrate on anything. I've started exercising, which is supposed to be good for your mental state (please imagine this in the most disgusted tone possible: exercising. I can't believe it's come to this), and I'll look into talking to a professional if things don't get any better.

Part of it might just be a product of being twenty-nine. I remember being prone to existential crises at nineteen as well. It wasn't a real age; it was just 'almost twenty'! Just a non-stop year of 'am I really about to turn twenty?' So maybe I'll calm down once I actually hit my thirties.)

I try to keep this journal an upbeat place most of the time and not to get too personal, so I'm a little nervous about posting this, but I thought I should probably be honest. I haven't been at my best, but I'm trying to look after myself, and I'm looking forward to spending Christmas with my wonderful, ridiculous family.

More importantly: it's Christmas Eve, and you know what that means!




(I originally considered putting Ardyn in Christmas garb for my annual Christmas manip. Turns out there's already official art of that.)

Have a wonderful Christmas, if you're celebrating it! If you're celebrating something else, have a wonderful celebration; if you're not celebrating anything, I generally wish for good things for you. Spend time with people you love; do something creative. I love you all.

Comments

[wolfy_writing]

Sorry you’ve been driven to...exercise. Truly desperate measures.

I hope things get better. Years that represent transitions can be weird and hard sometimes. If you decide to talk to a professional, I hope you get a good and helpful one the first time. And being honest with your friends is definitely a good idea. (I’m pretty sure that filling my journal with massive tedious feelings dumps is part of the reason why things have improved for me.)

Have a wonderful Christmas with your delightful and strange family!

[wolfy_writing]

[rionaleonhart]

I think I must have seen this pretty much on the dot of midnight, and it made me smile. An excellent start to Christmas Day! Thank you.

[wolfy_writing]

You’re welcome! Merry Christmas!

[halotolerant]

Merry Christmas! Have a splendid one ♥

(I started swimming once a week. My teenage self is outraged and betrayed, but it makes my head feel better, it really does, I look forward to it now)

[gulliblesnail]

I'm so sorry you're going through a tough time. Transitional stuff is just... the worst! And even though the holidays and new year and all are wonderful, it's also kind of a big/transitional time as well! Thank you for being willing to share what you're going through. I hope you and your family have a wonderful Christmas, and take care.

(ugh, exercise)

[apiphile]

I hope the brain time gets easier for you in the new year. If not, absolutely consider seeing a pro. It does help a lot <3

[newbie1990]

Along with everyone else, hoping the New Year helps lift your spirits and that you have a wonderful Christmas, and that the New Year also furnishes you with excellent coping mechanisms and support. Anyway, have an encouraging tweet: https://twitter.com/noonbinary/status/943241230011523072.

Existential crises are tough & I really hope this one passes. ♥

[squeemu]

<3 I hope things get better for you, and I am very glad to hear you have a plan of action in place. And I definitely know the feeling of wanting to keep your journal upbeat or not too personal. I find that being able to present that face to friends can be a comfort sometimes, but yeah. It's also very important to reach out or even admit vulnerabilities sometimes, too. I'm glad you felt comfortable enough to share it, even if it was difficult.

Thank you for all the posts you've continued to make on DW; it's wonderful to see at least one person who still updates regularly. (I regret not doing more.) I'm always happy to see that you've made a post and are still alive and consuming fan things, even if I don't know what they are or have much to say about it. And thank you for posting all those FFXV fics (I need to read more of them) and responding to mine.

I hope you have a wonderful 2018 and you find moments of enthusiasm!

[rosa_heartlily]

I hope all went well for you <3

[dracothelizard]

Acknowledging you're in a weird headspace and doing something about it is good!

I started running like four years ago, mostly out of 'if my two other unsporty friends can do jogging, so can I' and then I almost died after three minutes of jogging, and I still dislike running but on the other hand, it makes me feel accomplished? I hope you find a form of exercise that works for you. And fresh air can be good too! Also because during walks you can think up ridiculous fandom-related ideas.