rionaleonhart | It's Hard To Overstate My Satisfaction.

PLEASE WRITE NAMELESS MAIN CHARACTER/TYLER DURDEN FIGHT CLUB SORT-OF SLASH FOR ME. IT IS LOGISTICALLY HORRIBLE, BUT THAT IS WHAT MAKES IT AWESOME. (If you are reading this, this plea is for you. SAVE ME FROM WRITING IT MYSELF, BECAUSE I SHALL ALMOST CERTAINLY DO AN APPALLING JOB.) (EDIT:

apiphile has come to my rescue!)

Seriously, it would be so freaking awesome. I have a horrible feeling that any main character/Tyler slashfic that already exists would just treat them like any two normal guys and not go into how it would work and what the main character would think and feel after the revelation. I WANT AN INTRIGUING EXPLORATION OF THE IDEA.

(I haven't read the novel, I have to admit. Perhaps I shall.)

Alternatively, someone should write Nameless Main Character of Fight Club/'I' of Withnail and I. Possibly with the Janitor from Scrubs thrown in. And the Doctor, and the Master. 'NONE OF THEM HAVE NAMES (OR AT LEAST THEIR NAMES ARE NEVER STATED IN THE CANON)' IS TOTALLY THE BEST BASIS FOR A MULTIFANDOM CROSSOVER.

I have had a

th_esaurus at my house all weekend, which made me very happy! I only regret that I can't have her here all the time. Feel better soon, RD. ♥

Finally, and entirely unrelated to anything else: I've been listening far too much to this song from the ending credits of Portal, an awesome-looking puzzle game I have never played and, to my distress, will probably never get the chance to. Spoilers for the game, if you're planning to play it.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I should hope John doesn't try anything with Top Gear Dog, because she can do heaps better.

You've seen how John behaves.

HOWEVER, you've also seen how Binky behaves. I think Top Gear Dog should be okay unless Binky gets it into his head to have a kinky threesome.

True.

Well, so long as Binky keeps an eye on John and isn't into his nice, she should be fine.

Ianto might want to worry about Jack, though.

"What are they talking about?" John asked suspiciously. On the far side of the cafe, Binky yipped and growled and thumped his tail against the garden chair, and Ianto nodded politely and muttered something in response. As if on cue, both poodle and Welshman turned to look coolly at Jack and John.

"Search me," Jack said, fondling his beer. "I didn't even know Ianto spoke canine."

A moment or two later Ianto waved them over with an offensively airy expression. Jack looked worried. "What was all that about?"

"Binky has just been advising me on the best place to get a good collar and lead."

Jack sighed. "Oh, not you too. Don't tell me you've gone over to the dog side."

"No, actually," Ianto said quietly, sipping his tea. When the pause had started to get embarrassingly long (John and Binky were slobbering all over each other as usual), he added, "It's for you."

"What?" Jack spluttered.

"We've talked about this, Jack," Ianto said warningly.

"Sorry, I meant pardon. PARDON."

"Binky said," Ianto continued with a very faint smile, "The only way to keep you fifty-first century types from ... sniffing around other bottoms, I believe was the phrase he used, he's quite literal-minded ... was to stick a collar and a lead on you."

Jack blinked a couple of times, smirked, and began to slide his hand up Ianto's thigh under the cover of the table. It was not particularly covering cover. "Kinky," he purred.

Ianto sighed. "Jack." He reached over the table and tapped the back of Jack's visible hand. "Down, boy."

This is hilarious!

And I finally saw Kiss Kiss Bang Bang and I like Captain John better than everyone on Torchwood. And I'm not just saying this because of the poodle, or because he and Jack once had a five year marriage for two weeks, or because he seemed like he might interested in being Toshiko's wife. Although those are all good reasons.

Truth be told I cannot stand Captain John, because I could never stand Spike, but he is a useful tool and I get to scare people by writing romantic bestiality fic again and I wrote John/Poodle and it got more LJ comments than anything else I have ever written in my life ever. O_O

I couldn't stand Spike either; but for the direction his character developed. He didn't annoy me on sight. I liked Captain John because we weren't supposed to think he was better than all his behavior would indicate (a lot of characters, like the Master, I can enjoy as long as I don't have treat them like some tragic and reform-seeking woobie), and because he was fun.

I can enjoy as long as I don't have treat them like some tragic and reform-seeking woobie

Agreed, it *is* nice to have some genuine utter mad bastards on TV who get off on being horrible and don't whine about it the whole time!

It's Hard To Overstate My Satisfaction.

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