rionaleonhart | When Worlds Collide. Or Not.

This is an exercise that struck me as being incredibly interesting, but which I couldn't really repost myself because I'm not involved in any roleplays. So! It is Slightly Modified Meme Time!

The original meme:

Ask any of the characters I roleplay a question and I'll reply in-character as them with an answer. Feel free to ask them ANYTHING, regardless of whether you know their canon or not. Feel free to also ask them as your own character. They will respond accordingly.

The Non-Roleplayer Remix:

Ask any character you think I might be able to manage a question, and I'll reply in-character as them with an answer (or possibly reply as myself going 'WHAT THE HELL, I CAN'T DO THIS'). Feel free to ask either as yourself or as another character.

PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS IS HIGHLY EXPERIMENTAL AND I MAY WELL FAIL MISERABLY. My experience with roleplaying is largely confined to, um, the roleplaying boards on Neopets, many years ago.

Yes.

So this is probably not going to leave you with a sense of 'I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT'S FICTIONAL ANY MORE', but it should be fun, at least. Or a disaster! I am hoping for 'fun'.

(I think someone should host a meme where anyone can offer in-character responses, possibly anonymously. I contemplated it, but I'm so bad at self-promotion that it'd probably never get off the ground.)

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

I don't know what you mean. Holmes is a very great and valued friend, despite his eccentricities. Were he to ask me to die for him (and associating with him has put me in great danger on more than one occasion), I would, although I hope it may never come to that. The disadvantages of being deprived of his company would far outweigh the advantages of no longer being forced to endure his peculiar habits.

...

Opening a Rift would cause all sorts of problems. You...?

...

I wouldn't say it's 'within my rights'. Certainly wouldn't be the right thing to do. But, for her, I think I might.

Mary?

...no. Sorry.

I've... been better. But Mary said she would be here. If it's true, this will be worth it.

...pillows? I don't want to sleep in this place.

I - maybe.

[The Doctor [!7]] Well, it would only be a little rift. In a controlled lab on Gallifrey. Really, they'd hardly notice it was there....

You may not exactly be me, but I probably know a bit about how you think, and I know that's how I'd try to rationalise it if I'd lost my TARDIS. The thing is, you know that, even if nothing from the Rift gets out to interfere with your universe, beings are going to come through and they're not going to be able to go back. You can't keep them trapped in the lab. They shouldn't even have been displaced from their universes in the first place.

[The Doctor [!7]] Oh, well, now, you don't even know all the facts! She fell through a minor Rift in the first place, and from all I've observed, there doesn't seem to be a terminus here, only an origin. Which would be why she hasn't returned yet, I'm sure; she's fully away enough to do so had she the capacity. So in all reasonable assumptions I think it would be ~~at least relatively~~ safe to say it's unidirectional on this axis. And besides, if it's small and unstable enough, they should be able to collapse it without any appreciable, lasting effects on the fabric of reality! I'd leave behind instructions and everything.

[magi] You, sir, are weaseling.

Phineas Nigellus, come on, spill, what were you really up to in that young girl's handbag?

((I'm so sorry!))

I spent most of my time in the Headmaster's office; there was very little of interest in the bag, and I'm sure you will appreciate that I didn't particularly want to spend those interminable months of no doubt noble but inadvised questing staring at an impudent Muggle-born's personal possessions.

Hey, House, you know how you get really heated whenever someone mentions the possibility of God existing? Ever hear the saying that people only get that defensive over stuff that's true?

Sam! Hi! Do girls ever try to get close to you just to test the theory that any girl who does will die horribly? Wouldn't that be the weirdest death sport ever?

((I'd forgotten how much I love your Phineas Nigellus :D))

...that - that's quite an insensitive question, don't you think? Maybe I'm overreacting, but, um.

Girls have tried to get close when I've warned them away, but I don't think that was just to - to test it. I hope not.

Can we maybe talk about something else?

(Well done on choosing the icon there - I think that expression is pretty spot-on.)

[Awwww! You make me want to hug Watson even more than I did before!]

Stig, why did you impregnate Piers Morgan?

(silence. but a silence that somehow conveys the fact that carrying a foetus of the Stig's species provides powerful protection against zombification viruses and you'd better be bloody grateful.)

Ever hear the saying that people who spout sayings do it because they can't think for themselves?

If I go around telling the media you rape kittens, I'm pretty sure you're going to object. Does that mean you're a closet kitten-rapist? (Of course, for all I know, you could be.)

Jeremy, if the fate of the world depended on you shagging a co-presenter; James, Richard, the Stig, or the Apocalypse?

Also, if you got to assign everyone on Top Gear, including yourself, a super-power, what powers would everyone have?

I admire the Stig's forethought!

I swear to God, it feels like Kelly-Ann's been making my job that little bit more painful since time began.

Hee, that's my name!*/loser*

I don't have a question! But your responses thus far have been awesome and hilariously IC!

...cars don't count as co-presenters, do they?

I'd rather shag Top Gear Dog than Captain Slow, so he's out. Hammond is so tiny I'd probably smother him, which is a big point in his favour. I've heard some unpleasant rumours about the Stig's reproductive organs, so overall I'd probably say Hammond.

Don't tell him that.

I'd have the power to change any car into a Ferrari. Or Veyron. Any car into any other car, then. My co-presenters would have the power to recognise that I'm always right.

Thank you! This is ridiculously fun and I would encourage everyone to try it. I love it so much when reality and fiction collide.

Dear Chase,
what would make a man suddenly start drooling?

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When Worlds Collide. Or Not.

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Sam

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House

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