When Worlds Collide. Or Not.

[rionaleonhart]

This is an exercise that struck me as being incredibly interesting, but which I couldn't really repost myself because I'm not involved in any roleplays. So! It is Slightly Modified Meme Time!

The original meme:

Ask any of the characters I roleplay a question and I'll reply in-character as them with an answer. Feel free to ask them ANYTHING, regardless of whether you know their canon or not. Feel free to also ask them as your own character. They will respond accordingly.

The Non-Roleplayer Remix:

Ask any character you think I might be able to manage a question, and I'll reply in-character as them with an answer (or possibly reply as myself going 'WHAT THE HELL, I CAN'T DO THIS'). Feel free to ask either as yourself or as another character.

PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS IS HIGHLY EXPERIMENTAL AND I MAY WELL FAIL MISERABLY. My experience with roleplaying is largely confined to, um, the roleplaying boards on Neopets, many years ago.

Yes.

So this is probably not going to leave you with a sense of 'I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT'S FICTIONAL ANY MORE', but it should be fun, at least. Or a disaster! I am hoping for 'fun'.

(I think someone should host a meme where anyone can offer in-character responses, possibly anonymously. I contemplated it, but I'm so bad at self-promotion that it'd probably never get off the ground.)

Comments

VIRGIN!DEAN

[th-esaurus.livejournal.com]

Sammy, get your freakin' ass over here. Here. Sit. I said siddown! This conversation goes nowhere outside this room, you got that? Or else there will be nowhere on this goddamn earth that you can run to. Okay. Okay. Just. Okay. Don't look at me. Turn around!

Okay, Sammy.

What







what's it like being intimate with a girl?

Re: VIRGIN!DEAN

[dracothelizard.livejournal.com]

VIRGIN!DEAN IS TRUFAX.

[nomelon.livejournal.com]

DEAN: Why did your eyes bleed in Bloody Mary???

SAM: How are you finding the time to work out so much when you should be spending every spare minute figuring out how to save Dean???

DEAN: You have one food that you can eat for the rest of your life. Cheeseburgers or pie?

[rionaleonhart]

My eyes were bleeding because that creepy-ass girl was making them bleed, what do you think?

Okay, so that wasn't what you meant. A lot of people die in this job, y'know? Maybe the spirit can't see the difference between killing someone and just not being able to save them. I'm pretty sure that's why it went after Sam.

And anything more than that, well, I don't see why I should tell you.

...cheeseburgers or pie? Seriously? I can't have both? I mean, you can have different things in a pie, so what if someone made a cheeseburger pie or something?

[the-funmonkey.livejournal.com]

Dr Cox: Considering it's been 7 years, why are you still calling him newbie? (IS IT A SEX THING?)

[rionaleonhart]

Has it really only been seven years? I swear to God, it feels like Kelly-Ann's been making my job that little bit more painful since time began.

Maybe she's been around for a while - and by 'a while' I mean 'long enough to completely destroy my will to do anything other than scream and throw bricks at people' - but being a newbie isn't about actually being new so much as a state of mind. Tina may have become an attending - God knows how - but can you look me in the eye and honestly tell me that she's any less naïve, any less inane, any less goddamn annoying than she was the day she first walked through those doors?

(For your sake, I'm going to pretend I didn't read that. But only if you get out of here right now and never talk to me again.)

[nano_moose]

Hey, J.D., lovely to meet you! My question is, if you could be any superhero, any of them at all, who would you be? Explain why, and then describe your most awesome adventure.

Hi, James (Sunderland, incidentally). How are you going, man? Want some tea? Do you have enough pillows? D'you - d'you need a hug?

[rionaleonhart]

Oooh, I like that question! I mean, I've thought about it before, and I decided that I'd need to make up my own superhero. He'd be called Dr. Doctor, and his superhero costume would just be a white labcoat because that makes it easier for me to dress up as him, and he'd fight evil with his Scalpel of Justice.

I know people called 'Dr.' are usually supervillains, but Dr. Doctor is a good guy. He sometimes gets into supervillain conventions by telling them he's a doctor, and then he defeats them all with his ninja training.

And he can separate his head and his body.

[rubaiyyat.livejournal.com]

[The Doctor [!7]] Doctor,

Assuming your gracious host less-than-graciously ported your TARDIS into a different universe, you would be well within your rights to open a Rift and hop through after it, wouldn't you?

[rionaleonhart]

...

Opening a Rift would cause all sorts of problems. You...?

...

I wouldn't say it's 'within my rights'. Certainly wouldn't be the right thing to do. But, for her, I think I might.

[draegonhawke.livejournal.com]

JACK. JACK HARKNESS. You there, in the greatcoat.

So I know a Jack whose birth name is Ignatius, a Jack whose birth name is something along the lines of Mikaela, and the one over in this camp won't tell me anything except to insist it's not Quintus. What is your name?

Also, So why'd you come home to this sleepless town where it's a lifetime commitment to recovering the satellites and all anybody really wants to know is... when are you gonna come down?

[eelseason]

Okay, play catty all you want, but you're not allowed to steal my face for it.

My name is NOT Quintus! The only reason it's an issue at all is that you randomly decided it should be and I'm telling you, it's not!

Also, me? Don't answer that strike-through.

[rhosyndu.livejournal.com]

Watson, why on Earth do you put up with Holmes?

[rionaleonhart]

I don't know what you mean. Holmes is a very great and valued friend, despite his eccentricities. Were he to ask me to die for him (and associating with him has put me in great danger on more than one occasion), I would, although I hope it may never come to that. The disadvantages of being deprived of his company would far outweigh the advantages of no longer being forced to endure his peculiar habits.

[kelly96.livejournal.com]

Jeremy, how do you feel about technically being the slowest person on Top Gear?

[rionaleonhart]

I could have gone as fast as either of them! I just... chose not to. Which was a good idea, as it turns out, because I wasn't the one who ended up holding up the Yorkshire Air Ambulance.

[dracothelizard.livejournal.com]

So, Jeremy: Ford GT or the Bugatti Veyron? Or some other car?

I may have to steal this for myself.

Also, you totally have roleplaying experience! Remember the epic characterhate?

[rionaleonhart]

Both. In a Jacuzzi.

It's got to be the Veyron, if I'm honest. It's a question of a car that doesn't work and ruined my life versus a car that can go two hundred and fifty thousand miles an hour. That's not really a difficult choice.

My mistake was falling in love with an American, obviously. It won't happen again.


((Steal away! It is fun, and not nearly as impossible and terrifying as I expected it to be.))

[averysmallthing.livejournal.com]

Pickachu, how does it make you feel when Ash doesn't choose you? What do you think that says about your relationship?

[rionaleonhart]

Pikapi pikachaaaa~ ♥

[littlemoose.livejournal.com]

Phineas Nigellus, come on, spill, what were you really up to in that young girl's handbag?

((I'm so sorry!))

[rionaleonhart]

I spent most of my time in the Headmaster's office; there was very little of interest in the bag, and I'm sure you will appreciate that I didn't particularly want to spend those interminable months of no doubt noble but inadvised questing staring at an impudent Muggle-born's personal possessions.

[reipan.livejournal.com]

Hey, House, you know how you get really heated whenever someone mentions the possibility of God existing? Ever hear the saying that people only get that defensive over stuff that's true?

Sam! Hi! Do girls ever try to get close to you just to test the theory that any girl who does will die horribly? Wouldn't that be the weirdest death sport ever?

Sam

[rionaleonhart]

...that - that's quite an insensitive question, don't you think? Maybe I'm overreacting, but, um.

Girls have tried to get close when I've warned them away, but I don't think that was just to - to test it. I hope not.

Can we maybe talk about something else?

[cryforthemoon.livejournal.com]

Stig, why did you impregnate Piers Morgan?

[rionaleonhart]

(silence. but a silence that somehow conveys the fact that carrying a foetus of the Stig's species provides powerful protection against zombification viruses and you'd better be bloody grateful.)

[amy-wolf.livejournal.com]

Jeremy, if the fate of the world depended on you shagging a co-presenter; James, Richard, the Stig, or the Apocalypse?

Also, if you got to assign everyone on Top Gear, including yourself, a super-power, what powers would everyone have?

[rionaleonhart]

...cars don't count as co-presenters, do they?

I'd rather shag Top Gear Dog than Captain Slow, so he's out. Hammond is so tiny I'd probably smother him, which is a big point in his favour. I've heard some unpleasant rumours about the Stig's reproductive organs, so overall I'd probably say Hammond.

Don't tell him that.

I'd have the power to change any car into a Ferrari. Or Veyron. Any car into any other car, then. My co-presenters would have the power to recognise that I'm always right.

[thebaconfat.livejournal.com]

I don't have a question! But your responses thus far have been awesome and hilariously IC!

[rionaleonhart]

Thank you! This is ridiculously fun and I would encourage everyone to try it. I love it so much when reality and fiction collide.

[culf.livejournal.com]

Dear Chase,
what would make a man suddenly start drooling?

[rionaleonhart]

I - depends on the man, I guess. Is this an illness, or just a... really weird question? You don't know House, do you?

[dracothelizard.livejournal.com]

Janitor, what will you do with your time if J.D. ever leaves Sacred Heart?

[rionaleonhart]

...who's J.D.?

[amy-wolf.livejournal.com]

Dean Winchester;

Of all the female demons and supernatural entities you've run into, which ones would you sleep with if they asked?

Sam;

Assuming a sweet, attractive, and confused young British woman fell through a hole in reality from a universe where you're fictional into your universe, where you're obviously real, would your track record of girlfriends dying horribly make you wary of getting involved?

Sam

[rionaleonhart]

Um. Is this likely to happen? That's... a little more detailed than your average hypothetical scenario.

I guess so. I mean, in that situation we should probably try to help her get back to her own universe, right? She'd be confused, she'd probably be frightened... I wouldn't want to feel I was taking advantage, and, yeah, I wouldn't really want to endanger her.

[jira-rd.livejournal.com]

Stig, c'mon, you can tell me. Who's your favourite out of Jeremy, James, or Richard?

Sam, does Dean sing in the shower? And if so, what songs?

[culf.livejournal.com]

The Man Behind The Mask has no feeling for anyone but me.

[wanttobeatree.livejournal.com]

Hey Dean, what are your thoughts on Sam's hair?

[rionaleonhart]

I'm pretty sure we're going to need to salt and burn Sam's hair before long. That thing on his head's got a mind of its own, I swear. It's freaky, man.

I tried to save the world a couple nights ago with a pair of scissors, but he woke up. 'S why he's not talking to me right now.

[saaski-moql.livejournal.com]

I don't have a question but THIS IS THE BEST MEME EVER. You better do it more then just this once. XD

Oh, no, wait, I do have a question.

Chad. The I Don't Dance song. Your thoughts please?

Ryan, same question.

Ryan's floppy hat, same question.

Chad

[rionaleonhart]

Ryan's a nice guy, but I don't care what he says: baseball and dancing? Not the same thing. I'm not going to make better time if I'm pirouetting over the bases or whatever.

It was fun, though.

[quipquipquip.livejournal.com]

Hey Sam? Hey. You and me, let's have a quick heart-to-heart. Tell me: what's the most embarrassing thing Dean has done to you? Regale me with tales of your childhood woes.

[rionaleonhart]

Heh, where do I start?

Dean used to tell me Mom and Dad had been expecting a girl, and they didn't have a name for a boy picked out when I was born. I grew up thinking 'Sam' was short for 'Samantha' until I was about eight. Not so much embarrassing, I guess, 'cause I never actually introduced myself as that or anything, but I wasn't happy when I found out.

Plus I got turned into a puppy when I was fifteen; it's a really long story, but the short version is that Dean figured out what a cursed necklace did and decided that giving it to me would be hilarious. So, yeah, that was pretty humiliating. Dean still keeps dog treats in the car.

[johnnypurple.livejournal.com]

Dean, d'you want a beer? So, you and the Impala. Your most intimate moment together? Set the scene, dude, I want details.


James May, What's the dirtiest thing you've done in a shed?


Wolfy (amy_wolf), what's the truth behind your relationship with Riona?

James

[rionaleonhart]

...well, I've cleaned a bike engine, which is fairly dirty, oily work.

[amy-wolf.livejournal.com]

Everyone from Top Gear (including TG and the Stig); I am in the process of learning to drive.

Advice, please?

Jeremy

[rionaleonhart]

Don't buy a crap car. And definitely don't buy an American car.

Don't obey the speed limit; everyone else on the road will hate you if you do.

Try not to run over any small children.