rionaleonhart | I Was Born In The Battle Of The Somme.

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I Was Born In The Battle Of The Somme.

Meme. BECAUSE WHY NOT.

...well, actually, I know why not. It's because you people are pure evil and will probably give me some really freaking weird things to write. BUT I WILL POST THIS ANYWAY. BECAUSE I AM A FOOL.

Give me a character (or a pairing, or anything you like, really) from a fandom (er, preferably one that I'm familiar with. Crossover if you must), and a theme to go with it, and I'll write you a one sentence fic. Repeat as many times as you like.

I'll try to stick to one sentence. If I feel the urge to write anything longer, I'll give you a one-sentence fic as well. If I'm given any Silent Hill 2 prompts, I may well expand upon them and use them for the

fanfic100 challenge. I will of course give you your fair share of the royalties.

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Okay, this seriously just sprang into my head as soon as I read that, and I don't think there can ever be a better response to this prompt. (P.S. LJ YOU SUCK.)

"That," he said, "is a brilliant idea."

IT'S SO TRUE. ALL OF IT. SO TRUE.

Now let's have some Harkness/Pyramid Head romance. I'd ask for noncreepy, but it's PH romance, so let's have it with an extra-thick creep sauce and a side order of "waaaaaugh!"

He wasn't used to being so helpless, had never known the sonic blaster to have no effect at all, and he had a split-second when he just stood there staring at the creature and then a bloodstained hand was at his throat and he was lifted and slammed into the wall and pain exploded up his back, the pyramid creature very close to him, almost suffocating him, and he could barely breathe and his vision was blurring but he could make out something written on the wall across, two years, and he tried to focus on the words, tried not to think about the pain or the dizziness or the body slick with blood pressed up against his own.

Ma'am, that's some good waaaaaugh.

Let's have something with Irvine (I fell like he's been so neglected in all this) and the Mycon in my icon. (Don't worry; I'm not expecting you to have played SC2 :P)

There was a horrible pain in Irvine's head, and he had thought at first that it was just a hangover but it wasn't going away, it had been getting steadily worse for weeks, and yet he'd never been happier or more inexplicably knowledgeable about something called Juffo-Wup.

*L* Poor Irvine.

Let's go with this icon--an otter who is not Squall Leonhart--and Selphie.

Selphie, having been rather unexpectedly turned into a squirrel, had spent hours searching until she found the otter and promptly spoke at it at length about how they could possibly change back; so engrossed was she in creating ever more implausible plans that it took her some time to realise that the otter was not actually Squall - but it was much cuter than him anyway, so she didn't see that as being a huge problem.

...WUV.

Have you ever read the Redwall books? I cannot remember.

Anyway, Selphie discovers the Frog spell from FF7.

I read a couple of Redwall books five years ago or so, but I really can't remember, well, anything.

...they involved many furry creatures, I think. WOW MY POWERS OF RECOLLECTION ARE SIMPLY STUNNING.

Selphie was happy - Squall was not happy, and neither was Zell, and Seifer was especially unhappy and would probably have decapitated Selphie right then and there had he been capable of holding Hyperion, which as it happened he was not because he was a frog - but Selphie was very happy indeed.

Ahh, Redwall. Great deeds, heroic adventures, epic poems, epic feasts, and lots and lots of mice.

*LMAO* Hoppity hoppity hop.

Selphie vs. Frog!Zell in a game of DDR.

Selphie's look of intense concentration as she danced had been more than a little frightening, really, but Zell had been too focused on his own arrows to worry too much about it - and then in the middle of a particularly uncomplicated series of steps she had unleashed her Limit Break, apparently unintentionally, and he did worry about that because it had somehow turned him into a frog, and it was seriously difficult to hit two arrows at once when you were a frog.

SO MUCH. LOVE.

Zell as a frog is the best thing ever. With that in mind, let's have some snarky Seifer/Frog!Zell, with the theme of "Man, you gotta help me!"

Seifer could actually understand him perfectly well - his voice was intelligible, if even higher and squeakier than usual - and he could have cast a spell to fix it, but it was just so fun to watch the tattooed frog in front of him get more and more frustrated as he shook his head and cupped his ear, mock-bewildered.

♥ again! ...you can tell you're in dangerous territory when I use this icon as much as I have.

Selphie tries to convince Squall t get a LJ account!

"These people," said Squall quietly, her voice tenser than she had ever heard it, "are not like me," and even though she kept helpfully pointing out more and more I'm so alone people, and nobody understands me people, and I can't take all this responsibility people it just seemed to make him angrier - she didn't know why he was so grumpy, she was only trying to help - and then she found the fanfic writers, and she was sure he would like that, anyone would like having stories written about them, it was so cool - but now she's been locked out of the Ragnarok in the rain for more than an hour, and she's starting to think that maybe it wasn't such a good idea after all.

...poor Selphie. She means the best, really she does ^_^.

Selphie successfully convinces Pyramid Head to get a LJ account. (How long do you think it's going to take for PH to show up behind us and slaughter us mightlily for sullying his terrifying image?)

THE ROOMS HERE ARE ALL SO DARK LIKE MY SOUL, AND MY CAPSLOCK KEY IS STUCK AS MY SOUL IS TRAPPED IN A WORLD OF PENANCE AND PUNISHMENT, AND I NEVER WANTED TO BE A KILLER - IT JUST HAPPENED - BUT I'M SO GLAD I'VE GOT YOU, LIVEJOURNAL; YOU AND MY NEW FRIEND

trabianinyellow AND TWINKLE THE CRYSTAL UNICORN ARE THE ONLY ONES WHO UNDERSTAND ME.

...Pyramid Head is so going to kill us.

He is. So much.

*L* LIKE MY SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUL.

I had a really good prompt for you, but then I forgot it. Now magi is sad magi, so cheer her up with some Nida/Tails.

ASFGJTHLIDHMHFMSDIIIIIIIEEEEE WHAT THE HELL?

Nida had never really been comfortable with entrusting his life to someone else, but the flying fox-thing had just caught him before he fell to his death from the Garden, so it wasn't as if he'd had a choice (and that lurch was totally not his fault), and as it flew him back over the sea he threw back his head and laughed like a maniac and thought I could get used to this.

The next sentence would probably have been 'AND THEN HIS ARMS GAVE WAY', but... y'know. One sentence only.

*LMAO* That's the prompt you freak out over?

yuo/teh typo slash. Yes.

...I think this may be The Prompt That Beats Me.

...can't...lose...insane...fic...prompt...battle...

...anyway! I left all my typoes in this fic, because I thought it appropriate. Yes, I actually did typo 'but' as 'bust'. The only non-genuine typoes are, of course, 'yuo' and 'teh'.

"Yuo rae beautidul," Teh said (or would have said if he had had any ability to say anything, bust as he was only a mere typeo he could not), "and I wish that yuo realised that my love for you burns with a firey fiery passion of ire, but alas if can never be, because Riona's writing this one-sentence fic ans she cannot for the life of her conceive how it could work."

Hang in there, buddy! You're gonna make it! I have FAITH in you! (Or yuo, as the case may be.)

Besides, if you had died on that one you wouldn't be able to get to the bonus round--this round, in which I ask you to write ZELL/DRAKE.

YES, I AM ASKING YOU TO FANFIC DARKSIDE.

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA

blaaaame the praaaawn....

I CAN'T WRITE ZELL/DRAKE

STOP MAKING THESE EVER MORE UNWRITEABLE ARGH.

It was impossible - Drake had to exist, Drake had been on that mission, he remembered it, had seen the recording (even though the memories hadn't come back until he had started watching it, but it didn't make sense, he couldn't have had memories that never happened - but there was the mission with Drake, and there was the same mission with Tanker and Siobhan, and only one set of memories could be real, and maybe neither of them were) and he couldn't deal with his big bad dreams because Cid was haunting them, because they were filled with blood and people who he had killed and people who didn't exist, and so he slipped out of the Garden one night and went to find the truth.

Hey, at least I didn't ask you for Cid/Drake!

....

~~hit me with some cid/drake kthx~~ Let's see some Spanky the Dolphin, preferably with a digeridoo!

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