How Long Have You Been On Fire?

[rionaleonhart]

Here's a fun meme I attempted about half a year ago. I haven't really written anything for a couple of months, and right now I need to relearn how to get into a character's mindset, so it seems a good time to repost it.

Ask any character you think I might be able to manage a question, and I'll reply in-character as them with an answer (or possibly reply as myself going 'WHAT THE HELL, I CAN'T DO THIS'). Feel free to ask either as yourself or as another character.

Ask away! (You may, if you wish, ask multiple questions (perhaps of multiple characters) or attempt to engage the characters in extended conversation.)

Comments

[bubbles-san.livejournal.com]

Assuming you read the comment fic for Wolfy that I accidentally wrote in your journal (sorry about that), could you explain, in the character of Dr. Horrible, some of the details to the Nefarious Penguin Plan?

Assuming that you didn't read it, perhaps you could get Jack to tell me some of his OTP's. I know he has them.

Dr Horrible

[rionaleonhart]

Why would I tell you what my plans for the penguins were? An awesome villain's got to have some secrets, y'know.

...

Okay, if you're really interested. See, penguins can swim, right? And they have wings. So, if they could swim and fly, anyone who could control them would be able to use them as an army on the land and in the sea and in the sky.

I mean, they can't fly, but I - I was going to work on that.

[dracothelizard.livejournal.com]

Jack Harkness: Be honest, what do you REALLY use as selection criteria for Torchwood future employees?

Also, how would you feel about meeting another immortals like yourself?

Dean Winchester: What happened to the Bavarian Oktoberfest outfit?

Dean

[rionaleonhart]

Salted and burned. There's no way I'm letting Sam keep it as a freaking souvenir.

[serriadh.livejournal.com]

(can I ask a Real Person Character, please?)

James, did you have fun on your big beer gay adventure?

or, if RPs aren't allowed:

Tosh (before you died?) - what's the most annoying thing about Jack? What do you like most about Ianto

Tosh

[rionaleonhart]

Ah, Jack. Don't tell him I told you this, but with all the time he's spent working for Torchwood you'd think he'd be able to keep our secret organisation a little more secret. And perhaps a little more organised. Also, he and Ianto have broken some very important computer equipment once or twice in incidents I've learnt not to ask about.

To tell you the truth, sometimes I feel that Ianto is the only one who appreciates how much work I do around here. I try to return the favour. We're not exactly in the spotlight.

...before I what?

[th-esaurus.livejournal.com]

KRSSHHHHHHHHH

KRSSHSHHHHSHHHHHH

IAN-

KRSHHHSHHHHHHHHH

-ANTO

IT'S KRHSHHHH

SHHHHHH

CAN YOU-

IANTO-

SHHHHHHHH

[rionaleonhart]

Lisa? ...Lisa?

Lisa, I'm here. I got your letter. Did - I thought you'd died. How can you be...

If you see any of the creatures, stay away. I'm going to save you.

[bubbles-san.livejournal.com]

Ooh, just noticed the multiple questions part!

Stig: The Liana or the Lacetti? Which one did you prefer having as the Reasonably Priced Car?

Sam, or Dean: Why should I watch your show instead of some other show with monsters n' such?

And finally, Neville: Are you aware of how adorable you are?

Sam

[rionaleonhart]

...our show?

Maybe you've got us confused with someone else? We're not presenters or anything.

[amy-wolf.livejournal.com]

Sam: How much do you trust Castiel? How much do you trust Ruby? Which one would you rely on with the world at stake?

Dean: What's with the freaky red-eyed dream?

Sam

[rionaleonhart]

Ruby... I don't know. We're... close, I guess. I hope I can trust her. We've known her for more than a year, after all, and most of the time she's been trying to help us. She helped us fix the Colt, she's helped me... I mean, she's given us all these ways to stop demons. She must have known we could have used them on her. But she helped us anyway.

Still. She's a demon. That's not something you can just forget.

I haven't met Castiel yet. Dean doesn't trust him, and I can see his point. I mean, he is possessing someone, apparently.

I wonder whether I could...

Anyway.

I think he's probably telling the truth about being an angel. He's definitely something we've never seen before. What kind of demon is immune to traps and the knife? What kind of demon can send a person back in -

...

God, I've been so stupid.

It's the Trickster.

I'd better warn Dean.

[harveytheayeaye.livejournal.com]

Dean, how is the "rehymenation" working out for you?

Also, I want to know if Troy Bolton is up for questioning, but I can't think of a decent question.

Troy

[rionaleonhart]

Hey, uh, I heard you wanted to talk to me?

[reipan.livejournal.com]

Hey, Chad, if you don't dance how come your baseball game was so flagrantly, obviously choreographed?

[emmarrrrr.livejournal.com]

(OH MY GOD. I LOVE YOU. here, have an internets.)

[emmarrrrr.livejournal.com]

HEY, BALTHIER. How do you put up with Jack being the world's biggest manwhore ever?

love, ianto
ps get your hands off my man no that bit is totally a joke, i swear.

Balthier

[rionaleonhart]

I can't say 'manwhore' is a term with which I am overly familiar, but I feel I can deduce its meaning. Most of the time, ignoring him seems to be the best strategy; any acknowledgement only encourages him.

I'm still not entirely sure why I let him on my ship.

[bubbles-san.livejournal.com]

HEY. HEY YOU. CAPTAIN HAMMER. YES, YOU WITH THE CHEESY HAIRSTYLE. I HAVE A QUESTION FOR YOU.

Did you find out that Dr. Horrible had a crush on Penny before or after you started dating her? And, why are you so mean? Dr. Horrible is a total sweetheart and you just kept hurting him. On purpose.

Captain Hammer

[rionaleonhart]

I had my suspicions. Largely because, when I met the girl, he kept breaking in on our duet. In the end, I don't really care whether I have her or not; what's important is that he never gets her.

Dr. Horrible's a villain, sweetheart. I think I know what's best for this town a little better than you do.

[the-wanlorn.livejournal.com]

Hey Dean, what Pokemon is Sam?

Dean

[rionaleonhart]

You know what's happened? This mean you know how to fix it?

I mean, Sam the pink flying cat-thing is pretty hilarious, but I'm going to want my brother back at some point.

You know. Probably.

[amy-wolf.livejournal.com]

It wasn't Ruby Sam was with when Dean woke up and looked out the window this time. At least Dean didn't think so. Not unless she'd switched bodies again. It was some pregnant chick from the look of it. She had short hair, and a surprisingly flat chest, and Dean couldn't tell much else.

He had to step outside and see, of course. Looking after his little brother was what he'd been put on the earth to do. At least the most recent time.

"Are you eating?" Sam asked the woman. "Healthy food, I mean. Here." Sam started counting out the cash.

"I'm eating fine." The woman took the money, Dean noticed.

"Hey, Sammy," Dean said, poking his head out. "And hey..."

Sam turned around. "Dean! Hi! This is...Della."

In better light, the pregnant chick was no chick at all. "Delaware Springer." The guy stuck his hand out. "So you're the legendary Dean?"

Dean shook the guy's hand. "Hey. You a hunter?" He'd heard of this kind of thing. Hunting accidents. Guys who tangled with the wrong kind of creature, and wound up with something growing inside them. Sometimes it took a long time to get them out safely.

"Sometimes." Delaware smiled. "I'm a friend of Sam's. A close friend. Especially these past few months."

Dean didn't like how the guy said close, but he held it in. Pregnancy hormones could do weird things to guys, apparently. At least that's what Dad had always said. "Delaware, is that like Indiana Jones?"

Delaware grinned in a way that made Dean think he might like the guy. "Yeah!" He smacked Sam's arm. "See, he knows! Saw those movies when I was like ten and picked the name."

Dean smiled back. "There was like a month after I first saw those movies where I wanted to be Montana Winchester."

"You should!" Delaware clapped an arm on Dean's shoulder. "I mean why not?"

"Kind of a chick name. I'd sound like a stripper." Dean looked down at Delaware's stomach. "Looks like a run of bad luck."

Delaware ran a hand over his pregnant belly. "That's one way to look at it."

"So, what did that?" Seeing Delaware's expression, Dean added, "What knocked you up? Er, impregnated you? A demon? A curse?"

Delaware looked over at Sam. "You didn't tell him?"

"How was I supposed to tell him?"

"Tell me what?" Dean looked at Sam. "Tell me what?"

"How it's all his fault." Delaware smiled crookedly.

Sam looked down with the same guilty expression he'd had trying to sneak a cookie as a kid. "I got Della pregnant. The baby's mine."

[wanttobeatree.livejournal.com]

... I'm sorry, riona, I can't ask fictional characters any questions right now, on account of how MY BRAIN HAS BEEN BROKEN.

[apiphile.livejournal.com]

Dean! When was the last time you changed your bloody socks?

[rionaleonhart]

Man, I don't know. A week ago? No, wait, there was that kelpie on Friday. Lake water freaking ruined all my clothes. So I've been wearing these since then.

Seriously, if the choice comes down to using the space in the car for another box of bullets or using it for a change of socks, anyone who chooses the socks is a moron. You're not going to care about socks when a tailypo's clawing your face off.

[emmarrrrr.livejournal.com]

Dear Ryan;

Why do you think that you are (by the looks of it) the only person in East High without a significant other? Are you the only gay in the village, perhaps?

[amy-wolf.livejournal.com]

Dean:

Hypothetically, Ruby and Bela turn up offering you a threesome. On one condition; you have to be temporarily genderswapped into a woman to participate. Do you a) accept, b) refuse, or c) reveal that you're secretly a woman already, making genderswap unnecessary?

[the-funmonkey.livejournal.com]

So Sam, how was your first day working for Torchwood?

Sam Tyler

[rionaleonhart]

Their methods are inefficient, nobody follows secrecy procedures and sexual harrassment is actually more of a problem here than it was in the 1970s, but I can't say it's not interesting. Toshiko's been a lot of help.

I mean Harkness, of course, but by all means take it as any Jack you like.

[bubbles-san.livejournal.com]

Hey, Jack, c'mere. Siddown. I wanna talk to you a minute. Just between us, you an' me. I gotta know- at any point in your life, have you been turned into a monkey and sent back in time to be the mascot on a pirate ship?

Late, but how could I resist?

[riverdresses.livejournal.com]

Jack

[rionaleonhart]

Meyer's not really considered one of the great historical novelists where I'm from, and I haven't had much time for reading since I joined Torchwood, so I'd never actually read one of her books before. I picked it up, just to see why Ianto thought it was so hilarious, and, uh, I kind of got hooked.

It turns out Ianto doesn't like it when people read during sex.

[amy-wolf.livejournal.com]

Well, how long have you been on fire?