The Doctor Is Sonic Screwed.

[rionaleonhart]

Do I ever post polls without the intention of reassuring myself that there are people stranger than me out there? (And there always are! You are all insane, and I adore you.)

If the ticky boxes offend your eyes, let me know and I'll stick this behind a cut tag.

My definition of 'crackfic' is rather vague, but if it's clearly shown to be possible in the canon (for example, a male-pregnancy Red Dwarf fic) it doesn't count. With the exception of human/inanimate object in Top Gear, which obviously makes perfect sense but which I am counting anyway because I say so. I'll leave whether to count unfinished fanfics or random never-to-be-continued snippets up to your discretion.

[Poll #975909]

Comments

[wanttobeatree.livejournal.com]

Also, you forgot pirates. And ninjas. And dinosaurs. And kittens. And... I could go on all night.

[rionaleonhart]

You are amazing. Hurrah, I knew someone would beat me!

[justspaz.livejournal.com]

I blame the utter terrible quality of my mini fic and the fact that I posted it at all on the fact that it is 7:05 and I'm in a rush. I feel some need to justify it. Is this the feeling that one gets when they write something cracky? It is quite, er, riveting.

[rionaleonhart]

Writing crackfic is terrifyingly addictive. You may already be doomed.

[m31andy.livejournal.com]

I've just written mPreg! Argh!!!!!

(It's my one major squick in fandom. *shudders*)

[rionaleonhart]

But it is hilarious mpreg! And, although you may have repressed the memory, it's not the first time.

[dracothelizard.livejournal.com]

I slightly worried myself by thinking 'am I sure I didn't write vampirefic, werecreaturesfic or any of the others I didn't check?'

Also, Jeremy as a car waiting for the AA! Hah!

[draegonhawke.livejournal.com]

One of these days I may open up my braintic email convo and let it spill out into the streets. (I did once turn all of SG-1 into sentient warships and then retroft the story to make it an original fic, though.) (I also have this weird fascintion with getting Sam posessed by things and turning Daniel into other things. Like ships. And deathclaw (http://www.rolemancer.ru/newspics/852_deathclaw.jpg).) (Thing is, the SG-1 canon is so wacky it makes it hard to write crackfic for it. The writers have probably done something just as weird.) (Helloooo, Clone!Anubis totally sadistically hitting on Daniel in Prototype in a way even I could not miss!) (I do have one crackfic, but you need to have seen the S6 episode Abyss to get why it's so very, very wrong of me to write, and that may take a while.) (Haha, parentheses.)

[newbie1990.livejournal.com]

Is it very strange that I find car!Jeremy to be the most adorable thing ever? Because I do.

And yes, I did just delete a comment purely so I could use a different icon.

[rionaleonhart]

In my mental image, although it couldn't fit into the poll, it was midnight and pouring with rain. There's something adorably pathetic about the scene. Now I just have to find some way of mentally explaining to myself how he managed to call the AA.

Hee hee hee, dropping the drumsticks! Oh, Jeremy. And I love your snippet. It is giving me flashbacks to JD's ridiculous 'liiiiving together!' and making me grin like an idiot.

Also, er, I don't know whether you've already seen it on the community, but I've sort of written Jeremy/Top Gear Dog. Yes.

[littlemoose.livejournal.com]

Uh, I don't know how the last box got ticked in mine as it is patently not true. Sorry if it mucks up the poll...

Somehow, I just wrote James/spanners...

*hides under desk*

[rionaleonhart]

It's fine; I just assumed that you wanted to inform us that we were weird regardless of the fact that you had also written things. You can always change your answers.

You did, and I love you for it!

[moogle62.livejournal.com]

I swear I made my apocalypse suggestion before I read the other answers! littlemoose is just better, and faster, you see.

Damn you, for now I am wondering how to DO MORE CRACKFIC.

[rionaleonhart]

Ah, but your suggestion adds cheerfulness, which is so wonderfully absurd that I'm giggling just thinking about it.

And that was, of course, the hidden purpose of this poll, so I am tremendously pleased by this.

ALSO JAMES BEING A FANGED WERE-SNAIL. I LAUGHED SO HARD.

[apiphile.livejournal.com]

I may have written Captain Jack/TARDIS. And I probably did write Captain Jack/Withnail MPreg, but no one can prove anything because I am sneaky like ninja.

[rionaleonhart]

Ahahaha, Jack waking up as a girl and just not caring! You know that's exactly how he'd take it.

Captain Jack/Withnail MPreg

...you are a genius.

A terrifying genius, but a genius nonetheless.

[reipan.livejournal.com]

Most of my fic is original, so I'm not sure if I qualify for this poll, but I'm contemplating doing it anyway just so I can put 'blancmange' in the 'things you missed' section.

[rionaleonhart]

As that is pretty much the awesomest reason to do something ever (blancmange! How could I have forgotten?) and I'm really very curious about how many of these you've done in one form or another, I thnk you should.

[wolfenkahlon.livejournal.com]

I kept trying to think of things to write for Top Gear, but then I realised that most of them have probably been done by now. So I wrote some FFVIII since I don't write enough. To make it a little clearer: Rinoa is in Squall's body, Quistis is in Rinoa's body (which is why Rinoa assumes she's addressing Squall), Squall is in Selphie's body. I'm not sure where everyone else is, but Seifer may have been sighted dancing 'The Funky Chocobo' on the Garden Festival stage, which probably accounts for Selphie.

I'm not terribly cracky, but I am planning on writing some Human/Inanimate object, some highly fluffy (I don't know about cracky) alternative universe (so I can make really silly jokes), and I may have been tempted to write a short male pregnancy as a joke.

Worryingly I could claim several of these as written/going to write/thinking about writing, for Blood+: Vampires? Check; Human/inanimate object? Possibly briefly, she really liked those shoes; Supernatural powers? See Vampires; Transformation into animals? Not exactly, but what you do get could be milked for some bizarre crack; bodyswap? Sort of, functionally the same anyway; genderswap? And how!

Thing is... those are all canonical to the series. ^_^;; (Note that this is a serious series).

Er, I think I was going to say something else but I had to go away for a bit and now I've forgotten.

[darthfi.livejournal.com]

I... uh... haven't finished the were story yet, and well, the humans into animals one only exists in email to m31andy and I completely blame BBC2's scheduling this winter.

[darthfi.livejournal.com]

Tell a lie, the great nature documentary has begun.

[wolfenkahlon.livejournal.com]

Er, also the title for this post... I don't want to know do I?

(if you don't want to know, why are you drawing attention to it? dummy. also stop talking to yourself, you sound crazy.)

[rionaleonhart]

Ah, yes. This is because the BBC Doctor Who website has recently put up a daft comic maker. My thirteen-year-old brother, Fred, immediately pounced upon it and made a nonsensical, disconnected comic, beginning with a giant Doctor saying 'THIS SPEECH BUBBLE IS POKING OUT MY EYE' and ending with a Mysterious Voice from a spaceship saying 'I MUST KILL THE DOCTOR!' The final panel was the sonic screwdriver saying 'The Doctor is sonic screwed.' I wanted to make an icon out of it, but it didn't resize very well, so I decided to preserve it in post-title form.

And now you know!

[draegonhawke.livejournal.com]

...none of these would be crackfic for my current fandom!

[rionaleonhart]

...good Lord.

Awesomest canon ever?

[dracothelizard.livejournal.com]

I've thought of a concept we haven't done in Top Gear fanfic yet. It all came from a conversation regarding a Mary Sue for Richard Hammond who probably kept the real Clarkson tied and gagged in her basement while she replaced him with a docile clone.

So, clones. We haven't had clones yet. It'd be awesome, I think.

[nano_moose]

I double-dog-dare you to write 'Jeremy Clarkson is Death'. And not the Four Horsemen thing, I mean like the Grim Reaper, with a scythe and everything. I will not be alone.

[saaski-moql.livejournal.com]

Ack! My mini-fic clicked before I finished and, oddly enough, only entered your poll with a "this is stupid" proclamation. I remedy this now!

Harry Potter crackfic. Currently untitled.

"This is stupid."

"Normally I'd agree with you, but as you're the one who turned into a sentient lamp and I'm still whole even though I was being aimed at, I'm more inclined to just gloat."

"I hate you."

"No you don't."

"Okay fine, I don't! So would you HELP me with this? I am a lamp!"

"A lamp that can talk rather loudly."

"IF OUR SITUATIONS WERE REVERSED YOU'D BE JUST AS LOUD."

"Point. Alright, I'll go get the book from your trunk and see if I can't find a way to reverse the spell or see if it has a time limit or something."

"Well hurry up! Please. Before someone decides to change my bulb or something!"

"Just stay there then, and I'll be right back."

"Remus if you're not back in two minutes I am tossing myself off this shelf and commiting a very violent lamp suicide!"

"I'm going Siruis, I'm going!"

YE MERRY OLDE END.

If I wasn't so rushed for time, there would have been embellishments and details and Siruis's bulb angrily flickering on and off and I'm actually considering making this a full-fledged fic now, curse you!

[rionaleonhart]

Hee! When I read the "This is stupid." in the poll, I assumed that you were calling the poll stupid and was fully prepared to act all mock-offended. But instead I get insane Sirius-as-a-lamp fic, which is much nicer.

if you're not back in two minutes I am tossing myself off this shelf and commiting a very violent lamp suicide!

That is a truly fantastic line.

[proleptic-fancy.livejournal.com]

Ah crap, due to button incompetance on my part, you've just ended up with half a line of awful. I apologize.

[rionaleonhart]

Well, it made sense to me!

Your Top Gear: The Musical answer amuses me a lot, because, er, it's a concept I've discussed in some depth before. dracothelizard and I concluded that Jeremy would sing something very fast and loud and sexual to a car, and there was a long e-mail exchange containing, among other things, this:

R: You know, maybe it should just be a musical version of the Bugatti Veyron episode, as that would give Jeremy a chance to sing about shagging the Veyron and James a chance to sing about his love for the Cessna and Richard a chance to sing about what the hell, James. (James' song of love to the Cessna would be before they set off, just to annoy Richard. "OKAY, THIS CANNOT BE PART OF THE PRE-FLIGHT CHECKS.")
D: Richard could also sing 'How Much Longer Do I Have To Wait (For Your Bloody Checks To Be Done)'.
R: Ahahaha, yes. And Jeremy would call them up to sing a song about how much better than them he is.