Riona (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rionaleonhart) wrote2007-08-17 12:50 pm
rionaleonhart) wrote2007-08-17 12:50 pm
You Know I'm Feeling Better When I'm Rambling About Crossovers.
Questions I Can't Believe I Have Genuinely Considered:
- If Pyramid Head had an accident that sent him back in time to when Silent Hill was an active town, who would his DCI be? (Let's set aside the question of how he could possibly have a severe accident if he's more or less invincible.) I'd quite like to see him under the command of Gene Hunt or Greg House. Or, er, Geri Halliwell, just to continue the 'GH' theme. Please do not actually write fanfiction about Pyramid Head working with the Spice Girls.
- If Sherlock Holmes and Watson visited Silent Hill, what would Holmes deduce about the nature of the town? Would he be able to solve the mystery of the disappearance of James and Mary Sunderland? (A while ago,![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
thebaconfat wrote a beautifully mind-destroying fanfic about Holmes and Watson in Silent Hill. If you haven't already read it, I'd highly recommend it.)
- Why hasn't anyone written about Sherlock Holmes being sent forward to 1973 and meeting Sam Tyler yet?
- Are zombies permanently erect as a result of rigor mortis? (I tried to use this to break the ice on the day of the Canadian Invasion and can now pass down my hard-earned wisdom to you: zombie sex is never a good icebreaker.)
- The Top Gear team meet the protagonists of Withnail and I. Should fluffy-haired commiserating-about-insane-friends James/'I' slash ensue?
- During Oz and James' Big Gay Wine Adventure, James says something along the lines of, "That is the mystical cosmic energy in my penis. Oh, and it's gone off again; it usually does." Oz responds, "Yes, that was about four or five seconds; that's about right for you." HOW DOES HE KNOW? (A related question I genuinely can't believe I've considered is 'Why don't more people write Oz/James?' I mean, I know it's not a terribly attractive pairing, but it's so blatant.)
- "My name is Sam Tyler. I had an accident and I woke up in the eighteenth century." The very confused and out-of-place Tyler finds himself on a pirate ship with Captains Clarkson, Hammond and May, quite possibly the worst pirates the world has ever seen, shortly before they run into and probably eventually reluctantly team up with Captain Jack Sparrow and his crew. Would it be too much to have the Doctor turn up with the intention of sorting out the horrible tangled time-mess and recognise Sam as the Master?
- How is it possible for a programme that has a cyborg punching a pterodactyl to be so rubbish?
(Questions I almost included in the list but didn't because I can definitely believe I've considered them include 'What are Captain Jack Harkness' moral boundaries when it comes to shagging? I'm sure he wouldn't do anything nonconsensual. In my mental canon, he thinks of monogamy as a highly outdated concept, but he's aware that a lot of importance was placed on it in the past; would he have sex with a twentieth-century married human if the husband/wife were unaware?' and 'What the hell is the plot of Dark Chronicle, anyway?')
In entirely unrelated news: if you haven't readmistful's post-Deathly Hallows fic (I think a second half is forthcoming at some point), do! It has managed to make me not hate the epilogue any more, which makes me very happy indeed. Spoilers, obviously.
- If Pyramid Head had an accident that sent him back in time to when Silent Hill was an active town, who would his DCI be? (Let's set aside the question of how he could possibly have a severe accident if he's more or less invincible.) I'd quite like to see him under the command of Gene Hunt or Greg House. Or, er, Geri Halliwell, just to continue the 'GH' theme. Please do not actually write fanfiction about Pyramid Head working with the Spice Girls.
- If Sherlock Holmes and Watson visited Silent Hill, what would Holmes deduce about the nature of the town? Would he be able to solve the mystery of the disappearance of James and Mary Sunderland? (A while ago,
thebaconfat wrote a beautifully mind-destroying fanfic about Holmes and Watson in Silent Hill. If you haven't already read it, I'd highly recommend it.)- Why hasn't anyone written about Sherlock Holmes being sent forward to 1973 and meeting Sam Tyler yet?
- Are zombies permanently erect as a result of rigor mortis? (I tried to use this to break the ice on the day of the Canadian Invasion and can now pass down my hard-earned wisdom to you: zombie sex is never a good icebreaker.)
- The Top Gear team meet the protagonists of Withnail and I. Should fluffy-haired commiserating-about-insane-friends James/'I' slash ensue?
- During Oz and James' Big Gay Wine Adventure, James says something along the lines of, "That is the mystical cosmic energy in my penis. Oh, and it's gone off again; it usually does." Oz responds, "Yes, that was about four or five seconds; that's about right for you." HOW DOES HE KNOW? (A related question I genuinely can't believe I've considered is 'Why don't more people write Oz/James?' I mean, I know it's not a terribly attractive pairing, but it's so blatant.)
- "My name is Sam Tyler. I had an accident and I woke up in the eighteenth century." The very confused and out-of-place Tyler finds himself on a pirate ship with Captains Clarkson, Hammond and May, quite possibly the worst pirates the world has ever seen, shortly before they run into and probably eventually reluctantly team up with Captain Jack Sparrow and his crew. Would it be too much to have the Doctor turn up with the intention of sorting out the horrible tangled time-mess and recognise Sam as the Master?
- How is it possible for a programme that has a cyborg punching a pterodactyl to be so rubbish?
(Questions I almost included in the list but didn't because I can definitely believe I've considered them include 'What are Captain Jack Harkness' moral boundaries when it comes to shagging? I'm sure he wouldn't do anything nonconsensual. In my mental canon, he thinks of monogamy as a highly outdated concept, but he's aware that a lot of importance was placed on it in the past; would he have sex with a twentieth-century married human if the husband/wife were unaware?' and 'What the hell is the plot of Dark Chronicle, anyway?')
In entirely unrelated news: if you haven't read
mistful's post-Deathly Hallows fic (I think a second half is forthcoming at some point), do! It has managed to make me not hate the epilogue any more, which makes me very happy indeed. Spoilers, obviously.
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STOP MAKING ME WANT TO WRITE THESE TH-
"How did this- What on- How did you get here?"
"Oh, me? I'm just a traveller. Ignore the box, it's a figment of your imagination."
"That's a police box!"
At this point, the Doctor turned around to tell this person that he clearly shouldn't know that because they wouldn't be invented for another two centuries, but stopped short upon seeing the man with the short hair and what looked to be a leather jacket (which was something else out of place), opening and closing his mouth several times.
The short man with the stylishly messed up hair looked between the two. "Hello! Could one of you explain?" He half-hissed, and it was clear that he was really far too nice and well-spoken to be an actual pirate captain, but his look was fairly convincing.
"Oh. I, um, I'm the Doctor." The Doctor replied, not taking his eyes of the man in the leather jacket. "Just 'The Doctor'?" Said man asked. "...Yes. And you're... You're Harry Saxon."
"No, I'm Sam Tyler, DI- That is, first mate of the Emperor."
The Doctor took a very deep breath and smoothed an invisible crease from his pinstriped jacket, attempting to tear his eyes away from Sam and failing miserably. "Listen, have you got... A pocket watch, or something? Something that you'd open, but you never thought about. Maybe it's broken and that's why you've never opened it? Just never thought about trying. D'you have anything like that?"
Meanwhile, the short captain who had at some point introduced himself as 'Captain Hammond' kept opening his mouth to speak but was cut off time and again by the Doctor's relentless questioning. After a few minutes, he gave up.
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And I find it hilarious that Sam calls himself 'DI' rather than 'DCI', meaning that he's already gone through the 1973 business and now he has to deal with this.
AND I LOVE YOU SO MUCH FOR ACTUALLY WRITING THIS. YOU ARE THE BEST PERSON EVER.
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YOU ARE SO WELCOME.
If it wasn't for you I'd never write any fic. I swear. ♥
I might continue it, actually.