Bloody Hell, That's A Lot Of Tags.

[rionaleonhart]

There is a Female Characters Drabble-a-thon going on at the moment! If you're like me and feel that you don't write about female characters nearly often enough, here's your chance to redress the balance. (Sadly, there are almost no videogame prompts.)

Also, a rather fun meme. Stolen from eva_kasumi:

- Arrange the characters in your icons in alphabetical order.
- Pair the first character up with the second, the third up with the fourth and so on.
- Write a mini-ficlet about every pairing.
- Profit!

The results of my attempt at this are under the cut in varying degrees of cop-outness. It starts with Albus Dumbledore/Allison Cameron and goes downhill from there.


Albus Dumbledore/Allison Cameron:
He was gay, it turned out, and she was beginning to wonder whether she would ever have a crush that wasn't completely doomed.

Amaterasu (Ōkami)/Bugatti Veyron:
Amaterasu had little use for cars, because she was currently a wolf and because the Mermaid Springs were faster and because she didn't even know what they were, but she still found herself strangely drawn to the shining object in the field. Issun objected to her taking naps on its sun-warmed roof, on the grounds that that almost certainly wasn't going to help save the world, but she couldn't bring herself to care.

Chevrolet Impala/Daniel Jackson:
Dean was going to freaking kill that archaeologist.

Dean Winchester/The Doctor:
"I can take you places you never dreamt existed," the stranger said, and Dean glanced around the interior of the box before saying, "Thanks, but I'd rather stick with my car."

Fran (Final Fantasy XII)/Gene Hunt:
The latest addition to the department had arrived in the perplexingly traditional 'I'm not supposed to be here! Where am I? What year is it?' way, and Gene was just about to learn a lot more respect for femalekind.

Gregory House/Harry Potter:
Harry never thought he'd say it, but he was really missing Snape.

Haunter/Hermione Granger:
It was probably bestiality, and it was almost certainly necrophilia, and her true love was unfortunately incorporeal, but, er, this one really isn't going to work, is it?

Issun (Ōkami)/Jack Harkness:
Yeah, okay, this Issun guy was the size of his fingernail, but Jack had always liked a challenge.

Jack O'Neill/Jak (Jak and Daxter):
The boy they'd encountered on this new planet wasn't a talker, it turned out, which suited Jack just fine until the moment he realised having someone around who could yell 'Look out for the purplish-black goop!' would have been helpful. But no; it was too late, and now he was a squirrel.

James May/James Sunderland:
The man was already kissing him before May had had the chance to explain that no, he wasn't Mary, and despite his co-presenters' comments he wasn't even female. The subsequent conversation was extremely awkward.

James Wilson/Jeremy Clarkson:
It probably wasn't right to have sex with someone just because they reminded you of someone else, but Wilson tried to justify it by telling himself that House would have done the same thing.

Jessica-Jane Clement/John Dorian:
"Look at me, Dr. Cox!" JD shouted happily, waving. "I'm going home! With a hot girl! We're probably going to have sex!"
This was perhaps not the best thing to shout when said hot girl was right next to him, but strangely enough he managed to have sex with her anyway.
She stole all the stuff in his apartment when he was busy running around and informing everyone of his conquest, but it was totally worth it.

John Winchester/Kairi (Kingdom Hearts):
...okay, there is absolutely no way I can imagine this one. Er.
JOHN WINCHESTER WAS HUNTING HEARTLESS. HE MET A GIRL NAMED KAIRI.
...
SEX???

Maria (Silent Hill 2)/The Master:
"She was afraid," the Master said, twirling the stem of the wine-glass between his fingers. "I took her in. I gave her purpose."
"You destroyed that man."
"I'm punishing the wicked, Doctor." He smiled. "Congratulate me."

Mudkip/Oz Clarke:
Oz Clarke lieks mudkips. IN THAT WAY.

Perry Cox/Pyramid Head:
Well, okay, their patient was hulking and bloodstained and had a colossal metal pyramid instead of a head, but the first thing he'd done when he'd been brought in was murder Robert Kelso, and so Dr. Cox was in love.

Richard Hammond/Riku (Kingdom Hearts):
"You remind me of a friend of mine," Riku said, watching him through suspicion-narrowed eyes, and Roxas cursed inwardly; now that he thought about it, becoming a hugely famous motoring journalist hadn't really been 'keeping a low profile'.
YOU KNOW IT MAKES SENSE.

Robert Chase/Ron Weasley:
"Er," Ron said. "I've just - I've never done this with another bloke before, so maybe you should - "
"What makes you think I have?" Chase protested.
There was a pause.
"The hair?" Ron ventured.
(The foursome Harry, Hermione, Foreman and Cameron were having elsewhere at the time was far less awkward but not quite so adorable.)

Rose Tyler/Roy Mustang:
Goodness only knew how they had met, but that was some seriously hot sex they were having.

Sam Carter/Sam Tyler:
"You don't belong here either, do you?" he asked, watching her intensely. His grip on her wrist was beginning to hurt. She supposed she would be a little alarming if she'd been trapped in the past for two months, too.
How they managed to get back to the present day is a story longer than I am prepared to tell in a silly meme like this, but suffice it to say that Sam Tyler ended up joining the Stargate team and it was pretty awesome.

Sam Winchester/Selphie Tilmitt
Sam was hesitant at first - she was bright and cheerful and he wanted her, but he couldn't shake the sick fear that something would happen to her if he got involved - and then she blew up a dinosaur with a rocket launcher and he realised she could probably look after herself.

Sherlock Holmes/Shiba Inu:
From Dr. J.H. Watson's account of the Adventure of the Stolen Dog:
I suspect it would be unwise to recount all of my friend's peculiar habits.

Sora (Kingdom Hearts)/Squall Leonhart:
"Smile!" Sora said, cheerfully. "You really shouldn't be brooding all the time. Hey, I know what'll cheer you up: singing."
Leon pressed a hand to his forehead and prayed for strength.

Top Gear Dog/Withnail:
"Come here, you fucking dog; has anyone ever taught you how to - " [THE REST OF THIS FICLET IS SO VERY CENSORED]

Comments

[dracothelizard.livejournal.com]

"Dean was going to freaking kill that archaeologist.

"I can take you places you never dreamt existed," the stranger said, and Dean glanced around the interior of the box before saying, "Thanks, but I'd rather stick with my car."

*draws big heart around Dean and his darling Impala*

Sam and Selphie! TOGETHER, THEY BLOW EVIL SHIT UP AND ARE RIDICULOUSLY ADORABLE!

NOT TG AND WITHNAIL AGAIN!

[rionaleonhart]

DEAN/IMPALA. YES. THEIR LOVE IS SO VERY, VERY TRUE AND I ADORE IT.

Sam/Selphie could be incredibly cute, seriously. Selphie would have so much fun as a hunter.

Apparently and horrifically, Top Gear Dog and Withnail are destined to be together.

[dracothelizard.livejournal.com]

Sam would try to reason with Selphie, but Dean would go 'shut up, Sam, can't you see she's trying to aim that rocket launcher at the werewolf?' and grin like an idiot. And then try to get her to go after that archaeologist.

THERE HAS TO BE MORE DEAN/IMPALA.

AND THERE WILL BE ONCE I HAVE ACTUALLY SEEN BOBBY.

[rionaleonhart]

Oh, man, you're right. Dean would love Selphie. I need to make a big post about People Who Would Make an Awesome Third Member of Team Winchester at some point.

[dracothelizard.livejournal.com]

BRA'TAC AND VALA AND JACOB.

Well, maybe just one of them?

Also, is this like 'which other people should join Torchwood to make them more useful' and 'who would be a really awesome Companion for the Doctor'?

[rionaleonhart]

It is! 'Which character is this fandom missing?' questions are always fun.

[dracothelizard.livejournal.com]

Sam and Dean could do with Vala. She'd have so much fun messing with their heads and owning them completely using alien technology, and then Daniel would come along to tell her that no, she can't use alien technology to freak out the nice young men who are hunting the supernatural and saving innocent people. And then eventually she'd leave with Daniel, once she's done owning Sam and Dean.

[amy-wolf.livejournal.com]

Personally, I always liked "Which other people should join Torchwood to make them less useful?" Far more challenging.

I'm thinking possibly Jeremy Clarkson; he can't shoot straight, he has a fondness for ridiculous plans that end in failure and things catching on fire, and he is the slowest man on Top Gear. Hand him enough alien weaponry, and the destruction would be scary

On the other hand, he did manage to cross the English channel, and reach the magnetic North Pole in a truck, and drive across Botswana in a Lancia Beta. I doubt Torchwood could do that.

[rionaleonhart]

...

I honestly cannot think of a character who could make Torchwood more incompetent.

That's a little frightening, really.

[amy-wolf.livejournal.com]

What about Useless Fish?

[dracothelizard.livejournal.com]

Useless Fish will grow into Gyarados, and you call that useless.

[amy-wolf.livejournal.com]

He will only grow into a Gyardos if someone trains him, and do you really think anyone at Torchwood's likely to do that?

No, give Torchwood a totally useless fish, and it will either sprout laser beams and go on a quest to kill all humans, or remain totally useless forever.

[dracothelizard.livejournal.com]

Well, in the first episode of Torchwood they went after an alien that had the head of a fish, so I think we know where Magikarp went.

[dracothelizard.livejournal.com]

Exactly, Torchwood is so useless that hardly anyone can make them even more so.

[amy-wolf.livejournal.com]

I need to do Dean/Impala. And will once I get my ten million fic ideas finished.

Which is good, because I suspect you get disbarred from Supernatural fandom for nothing but het and gen. And I can't think of any Supernatural slash for the same reason I can't think of any shippy het: Sam and Dean have no one in their lives who doesn't drift away except for each other.

[dracothelizard.livejournal.com]

I have some snippets of Dean/Impala, at least, but I've decided to bring in Bobby, because I've heard he's awesome.

[amy-wolf.livejournal.com]

Bobby is awesome.

You could write a Dean/Impala fic now, and write another fic when you've got to the Bobby bits?

[dracothelizard.livejournal.com]

Well, the plot is that a witch cursed Dean to wander the Earth to find his true love with her dying breath. His true love is OBVIOUSLY the Impala, so Dean thinks there's no need to break the curse and Sam can't find a way to break the curse when the witch is dead and the other person involved is a car, and he clearly needs to complain at someone. Which is going to be Bobby.

[amy-wolf.livejournal.com]

I see. You need Bobby.

And I can't wait!

[amy-wolf.livejournal.com]

Dean/Impala is one of the great Man/Car ships. Jeremy/Bugatti's the great grand passionate affair, Richard/Oliver's the great insanely cute fairytale romance, and Dean/Impala's the great "together forever, get through the hard times and remain startlingly romantic" relationship.