Bloody Hell, That's A Lot Of Tags.

[rionaleonhart]

There is a Female Characters Drabble-a-thon going on at the moment! If you're like me and feel that you don't write about female characters nearly often enough, here's your chance to redress the balance. (Sadly, there are almost no videogame prompts.)

Also, a rather fun meme. Stolen from eva_kasumi:

- Arrange the characters in your icons in alphabetical order.
- Pair the first character up with the second, the third up with the fourth and so on.
- Write a mini-ficlet about every pairing.
- Profit!

The results of my attempt at this are under the cut in varying degrees of cop-outness. It starts with Albus Dumbledore/Allison Cameron and goes downhill from there.


Albus Dumbledore/Allison Cameron:
He was gay, it turned out, and she was beginning to wonder whether she would ever have a crush that wasn't completely doomed.

Amaterasu (Ōkami)/Bugatti Veyron:
Amaterasu had little use for cars, because she was currently a wolf and because the Mermaid Springs were faster and because she didn't even know what they were, but she still found herself strangely drawn to the shining object in the field. Issun objected to her taking naps on its sun-warmed roof, on the grounds that that almost certainly wasn't going to help save the world, but she couldn't bring herself to care.

Chevrolet Impala/Daniel Jackson:
Dean was going to freaking kill that archaeologist.

Dean Winchester/The Doctor:
"I can take you places you never dreamt existed," the stranger said, and Dean glanced around the interior of the box before saying, "Thanks, but I'd rather stick with my car."

Fran (Final Fantasy XII)/Gene Hunt:
The latest addition to the department had arrived in the perplexingly traditional 'I'm not supposed to be here! Where am I? What year is it?' way, and Gene was just about to learn a lot more respect for femalekind.

Gregory House/Harry Potter:
Harry never thought he'd say it, but he was really missing Snape.

Haunter/Hermione Granger:
It was probably bestiality, and it was almost certainly necrophilia, and her true love was unfortunately incorporeal, but, er, this one really isn't going to work, is it?

Issun (Ōkami)/Jack Harkness:
Yeah, okay, this Issun guy was the size of his fingernail, but Jack had always liked a challenge.

Jack O'Neill/Jak (Jak and Daxter):
The boy they'd encountered on this new planet wasn't a talker, it turned out, which suited Jack just fine until the moment he realised having someone around who could yell 'Look out for the purplish-black goop!' would have been helpful. But no; it was too late, and now he was a squirrel.

James May/James Sunderland:
The man was already kissing him before May had had the chance to explain that no, he wasn't Mary, and despite his co-presenters' comments he wasn't even female. The subsequent conversation was extremely awkward.

James Wilson/Jeremy Clarkson:
It probably wasn't right to have sex with someone just because they reminded you of someone else, but Wilson tried to justify it by telling himself that House would have done the same thing.

Jessica-Jane Clement/John Dorian:
"Look at me, Dr. Cox!" JD shouted happily, waving. "I'm going home! With a hot girl! We're probably going to have sex!"
This was perhaps not the best thing to shout when said hot girl was right next to him, but strangely enough he managed to have sex with her anyway.
She stole all the stuff in his apartment when he was busy running around and informing everyone of his conquest, but it was totally worth it.

John Winchester/Kairi (Kingdom Hearts):
...okay, there is absolutely no way I can imagine this one. Er.
JOHN WINCHESTER WAS HUNTING HEARTLESS. HE MET A GIRL NAMED KAIRI.
...
SEX???

Maria (Silent Hill 2)/The Master:
"She was afraid," the Master said, twirling the stem of the wine-glass between his fingers. "I took her in. I gave her purpose."
"You destroyed that man."
"I'm punishing the wicked, Doctor." He smiled. "Congratulate me."

Mudkip/Oz Clarke:
Oz Clarke lieks mudkips. IN THAT WAY.

Perry Cox/Pyramid Head:
Well, okay, their patient was hulking and bloodstained and had a colossal metal pyramid instead of a head, but the first thing he'd done when he'd been brought in was murder Robert Kelso, and so Dr. Cox was in love.

Richard Hammond/Riku (Kingdom Hearts):
"You remind me of a friend of mine," Riku said, watching him through suspicion-narrowed eyes, and Roxas cursed inwardly; now that he thought about it, becoming a hugely famous motoring journalist hadn't really been 'keeping a low profile'.
YOU KNOW IT MAKES SENSE.

Robert Chase/Ron Weasley:
"Er," Ron said. "I've just - I've never done this with another bloke before, so maybe you should - "
"What makes you think I have?" Chase protested.
There was a pause.
"The hair?" Ron ventured.
(The foursome Harry, Hermione, Foreman and Cameron were having elsewhere at the time was far less awkward but not quite so adorable.)

Rose Tyler/Roy Mustang:
Goodness only knew how they had met, but that was some seriously hot sex they were having.

Sam Carter/Sam Tyler:
"You don't belong here either, do you?" he asked, watching her intensely. His grip on her wrist was beginning to hurt. She supposed she would be a little alarming if she'd been trapped in the past for two months, too.
How they managed to get back to the present day is a story longer than I am prepared to tell in a silly meme like this, but suffice it to say that Sam Tyler ended up joining the Stargate team and it was pretty awesome.

Sam Winchester/Selphie Tilmitt
Sam was hesitant at first - she was bright and cheerful and he wanted her, but he couldn't shake the sick fear that something would happen to her if he got involved - and then she blew up a dinosaur with a rocket launcher and he realised she could probably look after herself.

Sherlock Holmes/Shiba Inu:
From Dr. J.H. Watson's account of the Adventure of the Stolen Dog:
I suspect it would be unwise to recount all of my friend's peculiar habits.

Sora (Kingdom Hearts)/Squall Leonhart:
"Smile!" Sora said, cheerfully. "You really shouldn't be brooding all the time. Hey, I know what'll cheer you up: singing."
Leon pressed a hand to his forehead and prayed for strength.

Top Gear Dog/Withnail:
"Come here, you fucking dog; has anyone ever taught you how to - " [THE REST OF THIS FICLET IS SO VERY CENSORED]

Comments

[amy-wolf.livejournal.com]

Dean was going to freaking kill that archaeologist.

YOU ARE AWESOME!

Oz Clarke lieks mudkips. IN THAT WAY.

I LOVE YOU!

From Dr. J.H. Watson's account of the Adventure of the Stolen Dog:
I suspect it would be unwise to recount all of my friend's peculiar habits.

YOU ARE THE GREATEST THING IN THE HISTORY OF THE UNIVERSE!

[rionaleonhart]

Hee, glad you enjoyed!

(I got the fic you sent me, by the way, but I forgot to look at it and I've only just remembered now. I'll probably be able to read it and send you feedback tomorrow. Sorry!)

[dracothelizard.livejournal.com]

"Dean was going to freaking kill that archaeologist.

"I can take you places you never dreamt existed," the stranger said, and Dean glanced around the interior of the box before saying, "Thanks, but I'd rather stick with my car."

*draws big heart around Dean and his darling Impala*

Sam and Selphie! TOGETHER, THEY BLOW EVIL SHIT UP AND ARE RIDICULOUSLY ADORABLE!

NOT TG AND WITHNAIL AGAIN!

[rionaleonhart]

DEAN/IMPALA. YES. THEIR LOVE IS SO VERY, VERY TRUE AND I ADORE IT.

Sam/Selphie could be incredibly cute, seriously. Selphie would have so much fun as a hunter.

Apparently and horrifically, Top Gear Dog and Withnail are destined to be together.

[cryforthemoon.livejournal.com]

Oz Clarke/Mudkips. DEAR GOD, YES. :D

And now I really want to steal this meme. Damnit.

[rionaleonhart]

THE ORIGINAL OTP.

I would very much encourage everyone to steal this meme!

[littlemoose.livejournal.com]

The man was already kissing him before May had had the chance to explain that no, he wasn't Mary, and despite his co-presenters' comments he wasn't even female. The subsequent conversation was extremely awkward.

You have killed me. Look! This is me, dead.

*g*

[rionaleonhart]

I love James Sunderland (from a safe distance); he is a complete lunatic.

IT'S AN EASY MISTAKE TO MAKE.

[dancesontrains.livejournal.com]

If I stole this meme, I'd have to try slashing 'The plot that was lost in the Woods' with 'A Degree in Applied Bollocks'.

This could be problematic *g*

[rionaleonhart]

Problematic... or awesome?

P.S. STEAL IT. I HAVE TO SEE THIS.

[harveytheayeaye.livejournal.com]

That was brilliant!
It makes me wish I had either a) more icons or b) more icons with things in them.

I've only got John Barrowman, The Doctor (9) and Sid from Skins so all I can really get is:
John Barrowman and Doctor Number 9 were dancing having lots of hot Time Lord-y type sex, while Sid sat in the corner rolling his 5th joint and mulling over the fact that here were two more people in the world he had utterly failed to have sex with.

[dracothelizard.livejournal.com]

At least you have people! 4 out of 6 of my icons involve a kitten, a Labradoodle, a Jumbo Cactuar and Scrooge McDuck. That doesn't lend itself to shipping memes, luckily.

[rionaleonhart]

Hee! Alternatively, of course, the Doctor can have passionate sex with base 13.

[eva-kasumi.livejournal.com]

Gregory House/Harry Potter:
Harry never thought he'd say it, but he was really missing Snape.

DED.

Mudkip/Oz Clarke:
Oz Clarke lieks mudkips. IN THAT WAY.

REALLY. YOU HATH KILL'D ME.

Richard Hammond/Riku (Kingdom Hearts):
"You remind me of a friend of mine," Riku said, watching him through suspicion-narrowed eyes, and Roxas cursed inwardly; now that he thought about it, becoming a hugely famous motoring journalist hadn't really been 'keeping a low profile'.
SHIT SHIT SHIT IT DOES MAKE SENSE OH GOD. HOW DO YOU DO THESE THINGS. =O

Sora/Squall is ADORABLE. SINGING oh god.

I wish I knew who ALL of these characters were, but even when I didn't the ficlets were still pretty effing awesome. <3<3<3 How so amazing, Riona?

[rionaleonhart]

I WAS JUST THINKING 'HOW CAN RICHARD AND RIKU MEET?' AND THEN I THOUGHT 'RICHARD IS SORT OF LIKE SORA' AND THEN I REALISED THAT OF COURSE HE WAS ROXAS AND WHY DOES THIS WORK SO WELL?

And thank you!

[galaxysong9.livejournal.com]

Personal favourite: "Hey, I know what'll cheer you up: singing."
Because the idea that Sora's singing would make anything better in any way is completely plausible.

[rionaleonhart]

SORA'S SINGING HEALS YOUR SOUL. The pain of Atlantica is the pain of soul-healing.

[the-wanlorn.livejournal.com]

LOLOLOLOL AWESOME

[kelly96.livejournal.com]

Oz Clarke lieks mudkips. IN THAT WAY.

Seriously.

That's just...

Seriously.

[rionaleonhart]

...Cowell/Amstell could actually be a bit brilliant. It would probably be nightmarishly confusing, but not quite as nightmarishly confusing as dracothelizard's fic about the Silent Hill-based adventures of James May, James Wilson, James Sunderland, James Norrington, James Bond and James of Team Rocket.

[riverdresses.livejournal.com]

[rionaleonhart]

Hee, thanks! Glad you enjoyed them!

I am a little curious about the wineglass!kink, I have to admit. All I know is that wineglasses are great for giving off an impression of eeeeeevil, and I have no idea why.

Ooh, Life on Mars is excellent. Completely insane protagonists are always so much fun.

[emmarrrrr.livejournal.com]

OH MY GOD
THESE ARE AWESOME

Fran/Gene!
lol house/harry.
OH GOD WILSON/CLARKSON. BEST REASONING EVER, WILSON. "HOUSE WOULD BE DOING IT" IS NOT A GOOD REASON FOR YOU, MISTER MORAL COMPASS.
hahahahahahaha cox/pyramid head is immense.
OH MY GOD HAMMOND!ROXAS DOES MAKE AN ALARMING AMOUNT OF SENSE.
yes, rose/roy would be hot. very hot.
she blew up a dinosaur with a rocket launcher - er, awesome.
HAHAHAHA, OH, SORA. YOU GON' GET A SLAP.

[fallingscribble.livejournal.com]

I died so many times reading this meme, rionaleonhart. (I think my favorite are possibly the Sherlock Holmes one and the last one, though it's tough because so many were so win.)

[rionaleonhart]

Glad to amuse! I have to wonder who the MSN man would end up with if you attempted this.

[swing-set.livejournal.com]

*is ded a bit from laughter*

Y HALO THAR, would you mind if I added you? I come with porn attatched. :D

[rionaleonhart]

Hello! Adding is always very welcome. It's nice to meet you!