Bloody Hell, That's A Lot Of Tags.

[rionaleonhart]

There is a Female Characters Drabble-a-thon going on at the moment! If you're like me and feel that you don't write about female characters nearly often enough, here's your chance to redress the balance. (Sadly, there are almost no videogame prompts.)

Also, a rather fun meme. Stolen from eva_kasumi:

- Arrange the characters in your icons in alphabetical order.
- Pair the first character up with the second, the third up with the fourth and so on.
- Write a mini-ficlet about every pairing.
- Profit!

The results of my attempt at this are under the cut in varying degrees of cop-outness. It starts with Albus Dumbledore/Allison Cameron and goes downhill from there.


Albus Dumbledore/Allison Cameron:
He was gay, it turned out, and she was beginning to wonder whether she would ever have a crush that wasn't completely doomed.

Amaterasu (Ōkami)/Bugatti Veyron:
Amaterasu had little use for cars, because she was currently a wolf and because the Mermaid Springs were faster and because she didn't even know what they were, but she still found herself strangely drawn to the shining object in the field. Issun objected to her taking naps on its sun-warmed roof, on the grounds that that almost certainly wasn't going to help save the world, but she couldn't bring herself to care.

Chevrolet Impala/Daniel Jackson:
Dean was going to freaking kill that archaeologist.

Dean Winchester/The Doctor:
"I can take you places you never dreamt existed," the stranger said, and Dean glanced around the interior of the box before saying, "Thanks, but I'd rather stick with my car."

Fran (Final Fantasy XII)/Gene Hunt:
The latest addition to the department had arrived in the perplexingly traditional 'I'm not supposed to be here! Where am I? What year is it?' way, and Gene was just about to learn a lot more respect for femalekind.

Gregory House/Harry Potter:
Harry never thought he'd say it, but he was really missing Snape.

Haunter/Hermione Granger:
It was probably bestiality, and it was almost certainly necrophilia, and her true love was unfortunately incorporeal, but, er, this one really isn't going to work, is it?

Issun (Ōkami)/Jack Harkness:
Yeah, okay, this Issun guy was the size of his fingernail, but Jack had always liked a challenge.

Jack O'Neill/Jak (Jak and Daxter):
The boy they'd encountered on this new planet wasn't a talker, it turned out, which suited Jack just fine until the moment he realised having someone around who could yell 'Look out for the purplish-black goop!' would have been helpful. But no; it was too late, and now he was a squirrel.

James May/James Sunderland:
The man was already kissing him before May had had the chance to explain that no, he wasn't Mary, and despite his co-presenters' comments he wasn't even female. The subsequent conversation was extremely awkward.

James Wilson/Jeremy Clarkson:
It probably wasn't right to have sex with someone just because they reminded you of someone else, but Wilson tried to justify it by telling himself that House would have done the same thing.

Jessica-Jane Clement/John Dorian:
"Look at me, Dr. Cox!" JD shouted happily, waving. "I'm going home! With a hot girl! We're probably going to have sex!"
This was perhaps not the best thing to shout when said hot girl was right next to him, but strangely enough he managed to have sex with her anyway.
She stole all the stuff in his apartment when he was busy running around and informing everyone of his conquest, but it was totally worth it.

John Winchester/Kairi (Kingdom Hearts):
...okay, there is absolutely no way I can imagine this one. Er.
JOHN WINCHESTER WAS HUNTING HEARTLESS. HE MET A GIRL NAMED KAIRI.
...
SEX???

Maria (Silent Hill 2)/The Master:
"She was afraid," the Master said, twirling the stem of the wine-glass between his fingers. "I took her in. I gave her purpose."
"You destroyed that man."
"I'm punishing the wicked, Doctor." He smiled. "Congratulate me."

Mudkip/Oz Clarke:
Oz Clarke lieks mudkips. IN THAT WAY.

Perry Cox/Pyramid Head:
Well, okay, their patient was hulking and bloodstained and had a colossal metal pyramid instead of a head, but the first thing he'd done when he'd been brought in was murder Robert Kelso, and so Dr. Cox was in love.

Richard Hammond/Riku (Kingdom Hearts):
"You remind me of a friend of mine," Riku said, watching him through suspicion-narrowed eyes, and Roxas cursed inwardly; now that he thought about it, becoming a hugely famous motoring journalist hadn't really been 'keeping a low profile'.
YOU KNOW IT MAKES SENSE.

Robert Chase/Ron Weasley:
"Er," Ron said. "I've just - I've never done this with another bloke before, so maybe you should - "
"What makes you think I have?" Chase protested.
There was a pause.
"The hair?" Ron ventured.
(The foursome Harry, Hermione, Foreman and Cameron were having elsewhere at the time was far less awkward but not quite so adorable.)

Rose Tyler/Roy Mustang:
Goodness only knew how they had met, but that was some seriously hot sex they were having.

Sam Carter/Sam Tyler:
"You don't belong here either, do you?" he asked, watching her intensely. His grip on her wrist was beginning to hurt. She supposed she would be a little alarming if she'd been trapped in the past for two months, too.
How they managed to get back to the present day is a story longer than I am prepared to tell in a silly meme like this, but suffice it to say that Sam Tyler ended up joining the Stargate team and it was pretty awesome.

Sam Winchester/Selphie Tilmitt
Sam was hesitant at first - she was bright and cheerful and he wanted her, but he couldn't shake the sick fear that something would happen to her if he got involved - and then she blew up a dinosaur with a rocket launcher and he realised she could probably look after herself.

Sherlock Holmes/Shiba Inu:
From Dr. J.H. Watson's account of the Adventure of the Stolen Dog:
I suspect it would be unwise to recount all of my friend's peculiar habits.

Sora (Kingdom Hearts)/Squall Leonhart:
"Smile!" Sora said, cheerfully. "You really shouldn't be brooding all the time. Hey, I know what'll cheer you up: singing."
Leon pressed a hand to his forehead and prayed for strength.

Top Gear Dog/Withnail:
"Come here, you fucking dog; has anyone ever taught you how to - " [THE REST OF THIS FICLET IS SO VERY CENSORED]

Comments

[rionaleonhart]

I love James Sunderland (from a safe distance); he is a complete lunatic.

IT'S AN EASY MISTAKE TO MAKE.

[amy-wolf.livejournal.com]

I'm having a similar thing with Dexter from Dexter; on the one hand, he fills me with a massive urge to offer him comforting hug and let him talk through his problems until he comes to grips with himself, and on the other, he's a serial killer. A sad, surprisingly sweet, screwed-up one who I really want to give a comforting hug to, even though I know it's a terrible idea.

[littlemoose.livejournal.com]

IT IS NOT! JAMES MIGHT HAVE THE LOCKS, BUT HE'S A MANLY MAN... WHO PLAYS THE HARPSICHORD AND IS TURNING INTO A WIME PONCE! This isn't working, is it? *giggles*

[amy-wolf.livejournal.com]

Have you seen his "I'm the only proper bloke here!" speech on Top Gear? I think it's on Youtube somewhere. Basically, it's him ranting about how Jeremy not liking fart jokes or brown beer, and Richard using hair product and owning a poodle makes James the manliest one of them all.

I was more convinced by the time he pwned Gordon Ramsey at cooking and ate a bull's penis.

[littlemoose.livejournal.com]

I have seen that, and it is a glorious rant, if only for the reactions of the other two.

Me too, but anyone laying the smackdown on Ramsey is excellent, it was doubly brilliant that it was James, though.