Way To Go, Self.

[rionaleonhart]

DEAR EVERYONE: shoebox_project was hacked, and I clicked the links the hacker posted, because I'm stupid, and apparently these links have been known to install keyloggers on clickers' computers, and I have run a virus scan but it has not detected anything, which is actually slightly less reassuring than running a scan and having it say 'yeah, you had a problem but now we have fixed it!', so, er.

SO THERE IS A CHANCE THAT SOMEBODY WILL HACK INTO MY LIVEJOURNAL AND DELETE ALL OF MY ENTRIES.

This would not be awesome. So, er, if all of my entries suddenly disappear and I post an entry with a suspicious-looking link to a site that ends with '.ru', don't click, guys.

I politely request that you all write 'sorry you're so stupid' snippets of fanfiction about Jensen and Jared in the comments. (By '"sorry you're so stupid" fanfiction' I mean fanfiction to distract me from thinking 'you're an idiot, Riona', but if you would like to write Jared/Jensen fanfiction with 'sorry you're so stupid' as a prompt, please do!)

Comments

[wanttobeatree.livejournal.com]

I TOO CLICKED THE LINK. However, the page didn't load for me, so hopefully I'm not going to be taken by Russians anytime soon.

Am mid-journal back-up (http://ljbackup.yamnet.co.uk/) anyway, just in case.

[rionaleonhart]

Psst! Pretend the page loaded and then get people to write fanfiction for you!

I've been backing up my journal for a while, but it would still be incredibly rubbish if I had to rebuild my Internet home.

[dragged-up.livejournal.com]

Have you tried running an antispyware program as well as an antivirus, just to be safe?

[rionaleonhart]

Trying out Google's Spyware Doctor right now!

Man, hackers, I was supposed to spend this evening working on my data analysis project. You guys are gits.

[maestro1123.livejournal.com]

I clicked on it too and my virus checker found nothing. I think you're safe! At a guess, I'd say it's probably more to do with site hits/advertising revenue, but that's just a very very vague guess.

Or possibly we'll both get hacked together.

Also: Shoebox! We barely knew ye!

[rionaleonhart]

WHEN WE HAVE BEEN LOCKED OUT OF OUR JOURNALS, WE SHALL FIND EACH OTHER IN THE STRANGE, COLD WORLD OUTSIDE AND HOLD HANDS.

[thrennion.livejournal.com]

Oh, oh dear. I can't be arsed to look at the links, but... oh dear indeed. *hugs instead of 'fic, too tired to write*.

[rionaleonhart]

Don't look at the links! Looking at the links is a bad idea!

The hugs are appreciated, though.

[bubbles-san.livejournal.com]

Using the very little I know about them, I am going to write you crappy, probably ooc Jared and Jensen sympathy fic.

~o.o.o~

"Aw, man, I've been hacked!"

"Really?" Jared peered over Jensen's shoulder. "Idiot! That's what you get for clicking random links on some British fan's journal."

"Well most of it is stuff about us. How was I supposed to know they were bad links?" He pouted a bit, which made him look like a cross child. "At least I backed my journal up. And I don't think this chick actually knew what the links were. Even if she does look evil in that one picture."

Jared patted his shoulder, almost as if to say 'Sorry you're so stupid.'

[rionaleonhart]

Heeeeeeeeee! Well, something good has come out of all this, at least.

[th-esaurus.livejournal.com]

I DON'T KNOW IF I HAVE BEEN ~INFECTED~ BECAUSE I CLICKED THE LINK BUT FIREFOX DIDN'T OPEN THE PAGES?

WAS FIREFOX TRYING TO PROTECT ME ALL ALONG??????

OH FIREFOX, ARE YOU MORE VALIANT AND TRUE THAN I HAVE PREVIOUSLY SUSPECTED?

oh my god please don't steal my livejournal, hackers.

[rionaleonhart]

FIREFOX LOADED IT FOR ME.

WHY DO YOU HATE MY JOURNAL, FIREFOX?

[lovestories.livejournal.com]

OH MY GOD I CLICKED THE LINK AND IT LOADED. *CRIES*

[rionaleonhart]

Don't panic! Just run a scan for spyware, and use this program to back up your journal if you're worried.

[reipan.livejournal.com]

At the risk of sounding like Yuffie, this would be the benefit of using Linux. Hell, I can't install anything on this machine; anybody else trying to install stuff on it just gets looked at by my computer, as if to say "yes. That's an interesting noise you're making. Are you finished yet?"

I hope your Livejournal doesn't get stolen, anyway. And, uh, yeah. Hugs to you.

I'm sorry if this comment sounds brusque; I am absolutely cream crackered.

...have some tea?

[rionaleonhart]

MAN IF MY LIVEJOURNAL ACTUALLY GETS HACKED I AM GOING TO MAKE YOU FEEL SO GUILTY FOR THE INSUFFICIENT LEVEL OF SYMPATHY DISPLAYED HERE.

Oh, all right, you are forgiven if you're exhausted.

[clo.livejournal.com]

copperbadge has helpful advice on What You Should Do If You Foolishly Clicked The Link (like us) (http://copperbadge.livejournal.com/2610603.html) (all the relevant links & info in the comments). I'm now installing the key scrambler with much anxious flailing.

[nano_moose]

Thought Number One: Thank you for the warning!

Thought Number Two: SHOEBOX NOOOOOOO. That's nineteen thousands kinds of suck! What a crappy thing to wake up to.

[amy-wolf.livejournal.com]

"I can't believe you're not showing any sympathy." Jensen flopped down on the couch. "Worst boyfriend ever."

"Fine. I'm very, very sorry that you're so stupid. Seriously did you not watch the show before agreeing to go on it?"

"I did!" Jensen pouted. "They didn't say the tall guy was gay! I thought it was the guy with the hair!"

"Seriously? Jeremy Clarkson flirts with every guest he's ever had. And you decided to go out for drinks with him."

"Why aren't you all jealous that he kissed me?" Jensen folded his arms. "Aren't you supposed to be all 'Grr, argh, protect my boyfriend!'?"

"He's on another continent. And you haven't stopped brushing your teeth since you got back."

"He invited me back, you know."

"Yeah?"

"I might do it. Just to piss you off."

"Fine." Jared sighed. "Grr, argh, protect my boyfriend. Why I oughtta...ooh, that Clarson...happy now?" He sat down next to Jensen on the couch.

Jensen kept sulking. "What is it about me and guys who are freakishly tall and incredibly annoying?"

"It's the model face, dude." Jared leaned in for a kiss. "We keep thinking you're a chick."

[rionaleonhart]

Eeee, thank you!

"It's the model face, dude." Jared leaned in for a kiss. "We keep thinking you're a chick."

I love them so much when they make fun of each other. Also, Jensen on Top Gear would be excellent. Especially if Clarkson flirted with him or made inappropriate remarks, as of course he would.

[timydamonkey.livejournal.com]

(Er, hi, random person here.)

I'd use a spyware program (I like Spybot: Search and Destroy, possibly as the idea of spyware being destroyed makes me feel better... or something.) to be safe. I'm fairly lucky in that the one time I clicked an infected link, Zone Alarm kicked in with "THIS PAGE IS TRYING TO ACCESS YOUR COMPUTER AND INSTALLING SPYWARE*. Go/terminate?" Me: Eep! -clicks terminate- And my spyware scan thankfully picked up nothing.

*Possibly paraphrased.

[rionaleonhart]

Hello, random person! Thanks for the advice; I've run Google's Spyware Doctor, and it's got rid of a trojan, although I'm not sure whether that's related or not. I hesitate to say this, because it seems rather like tempting fate, but I think I may be safe.

[amy-wolf.livejournal.com]

Also, hackers cannot steal your journal. It is one of the major internet sources of awesome! Without your journal, the amount of awesome on the internet would drop by at least ten percent.

[rionaleonhart]

You are far too lovely. ♥!

[dracothelizard.livejournal.com]

Jensen was looking pale as he sat behind the computer, staring at the screen with horror. "Jared. I went on the internet."

"And?" Jared asked, and then looked over. "Oh shit, what did you find this time? 'Cause if it's worse than the one where we were both impregnated by a squid, I don't want to know."

"No, it's this big ass essay on how I'm the perfect man, except not, or something."

"What's wrong with that?"

"She mentioned my freckles were like caramel. Caramel, dude. You know what this means?" Jensen looked rather freaked out.

"That she needs to find a less cheesy way to describe stuff?"

"No! It clearly means that they all want to eat me! My fangirls wanted to me, Jared!"

Jared burst out in laughter. "They do not want to eat you, man, they probably want to lick caramel of your freckles, something like that."

"Well, I suppose that is better than crazy cannibalistic fans," Jensen said, although he still looked vaguely worried. "I still don't get the obsession with my freckles or the caramel, though."

Jared grinned. "Why don't I get some caramel and show you?"

Also, if your LJ gets hacked I will hunt the hacker down and bone their dog.

[rionaleonhart]

The fact that you went straight from the ficlet to dog-boning threats confused me into thinking for a moment that Jared Padalecki was threatening to bone the hacker's dog.

I think that makes this ficlet ten times better.

(And thank you so much! Ahahaha, I saw some snippets of that essay. Madness.)

[linakitten.livejournal.com]

Whaaa- I go out for the evening and Shoebox gets hacked?!!?

THIS TURNED OUT WAY LONGER THAN I EXPECTED IT TO.

[saaski-moql.livejournal.com]

As everyone else has already offered advice on the spyware itself, and you have run checkers, I think that you may be safe, but I hesitate to be certain because that can ONLY LEAD TO DISASTER. Get someone to check your computer out maybe?

Sadly, I do not know enough about Jared and Jensen to write you fic for them. Here, have this bizarre...something instead.

"Pika pik~a, pipipikaCHU."

Sam and Dean looked at each other.

"What the hell is this thing?"

"I'm not...sure." Sam titled his head, observing the creature. "It looks a bit like a rat, doesn't it? Maybe it's a mutant rat."

"Sam, that is the dumbest--"

"PIKAPIKAPIKACHUPIKACHUCHU."

"Whoa. I think you made the little guy angry."

"Hey! Do you think he can understand us?" He crouched down to get a better look at the bright yellow thing. "Do you understand us?"

"Pika!" The little creature nodded empathetically.

"Can you talk?"

"Pi-pi-pi."

"Okay uh, that's a 'no'--"

"PIKACHU"

"--or a yes!" Sam amended hastily. "Okay, you can talk. Just that we can't understand you."

"Chu."

"All right. Well then. Can you maybe show us where you came from? Or--"

"Sam, you're being a moron," Dean interrupted. "Who cares? It's not even hostile. Look at the thing--it shouldn't be able to do anything. Just kick it somewhere and let's go. We're after the thing the reports have been about, remember? Giant, skulking guy with a huge weird metal hat and a terrible taste in skirts. Not a yellow rat."

"Chu..."

"Uh, Dean?" Sad said warily, backing away. "I think you made it mad."

Dean rolled his eyes. "And?"

"Seriously man, I think it's cheeks might be crackling or something and--"

"PI. KA. CHUUUUU."

"AUGH OH FUCKING GOD SHIT OW."

When Dean woke up, the little rat was nowhere to be seen, and Sam was staring down at him. Dean spared a passing thought at how Sam had managed to grow even more freakishly tall before he realized that he was on the ground sitting against a tree. And why he was sitting against a tree. "The little fucker tazered me!"

"You were making fun of it," Sam told him, shrugging. "All he wanted to do was find his friend."

"What? What friend? Another little yellow mutant rat with lighting cheeks? Are we about to have a plague or something? Shit. What kills mutant electric rats?"

"We don't kill any of them," Sam corrected, exasperated. "We forget about them, since he went home with his friend and neither of them knew about metal-hat guy. And his name was Pikachu, by the way."

"There's a shocker."

Sam blinked. "Dean, that was a horrible, horrible pun."

"What are you talking about?"

"Nothing. I said that I'm sorry you're so stupid."

Dean snorted and, for once, didn't comment. "Let's go before we get attacked by more florescent woodland creatures."

"Well maybe if you tried being nicer to them--"

"Shut up."

Re: THIS TURNED OUT WAY LONGER THAN I EXPECTED IT TO.

[bubbles-san.livejournal.com]

You, person I don't know, are brilliant.

[twilit-wanderer.livejournal.com]

Oh no! I don't have enough creativity or confidence to try to write you something, but I hope you (and everyone else who mistakenly clicked, of course) don't lose anything! I was a bit worried when I had a hacking scare, so I will be over here thinking hopeful, happy thoughts for everyone involved (except the hackers, who can just, I don't know, fall in a hole and twist their ankles or something), at least.

[bubl.livejournal.com]

I CLICKED IT ALSO. *woe*

I've backed up my journal and changed my password and I'm downloading Google's Spyware Doctor.. I'm just wondering, mainly, why Firefox blocked the link for some people but not for others. What, does Firefox not think my journal is good enough?

[layered.livejournal.com]

I did not click the links, but I came home after a few days away and letting my brother use my computer, and I have a keylogger virus. Sflksadjfsd. D: D:

(In case anyone cares, my AdAware Free picked up on it and, I think, got rid of it.)