Trabia Garden

Like many households, we opted not to watch the Eurovision Song Contest this year. On the day of the final, we had an 'alternative' Eurovision evening instead: we fired up the speaker and had a home karaoke session. The theme was 'past Eurovision songs and songs that feel fitting for Eurovision'. It was a lot more fun than actual Eurovision, I suspect!

(For the information of anyone else who's boycotting Eurovision this year: none of the YouTube links in this entry go to official Eurovision channels.)

We ended up deciding against having guests, because it's been a busy few weeks and we didn't have the energy to host, so it was just the four of us (or the three of us with Ginger spectating, as Ginger prefers not to take the microphone). It would have been fun to have people over, but, at the same time, the fact I was very close with everyone there meant it was slightly less intimidating to sing in languages I didn't know a word of, so perhaps it's for the best!

I kicked off the evening with the eternal masterpiece 'Wolves of the Sea' by Pirates of the Sea (Latvia, Eurovision 2008). My first performance of a karaoke session is always a bit wobbly, because I tend to start out nervous and then gain confidence over the course of the song, but this was a lot of fun. The others quickly started joining in on the choruses; it's very catchy!

My other performances:

- Duncan Laurence, 'Arcade' (Netherlands, Eurovision 2019). I've had this song stuck in my head a lot recently on account of rereading 'The Arcade' by Gnine, one of my all-time favourite Final Fantasy XV fics; it's a great outsider-POV piece about Prompto and his friendship with Noct.

- Marija Šerifović, 'Molitva' (Serbia, Eurovision 2007). I was nervous about singing in Serbian, but this went surprisingly well! Very dramatic and fun to belt out. It helped that nobody in the audience knew Serbian.

- Keiino, 'Spirit in the Sky' (Norway, Eurovision 2019), an incredible banger that should not be confused with any different and terrible songs that might happen to be called 'Spirit in the Sky'. This was fun, but it was also extremely challenging! It's very much a song for three people, and singing it solo required a lot of wild leaps between octaves and languages.

- ABBA, 'Waterloo' (Sweden, Eurovision 1974). Look, you can't have Eurovision karaoke without performing 'Waterloo'. It's against the law.

I also sang backup on Rei's performance of 'The Dream Daddy for Me' by JT Music (very much not a Eurovision song), a rap about the dating sim Dream Daddy, which was an absolute blast, and on Tem's performance of 'I'm Ready', in case any complacent fools thought they might get through the evening without hearing any songs from Death Note: The Musical.

I was very impressed by the performances; it felt like everyone really pulled out the stops, and, appropriately for the occasion, it was very multilingual. In addition to English, Rei sang in Japanese ('I don't wanna get out of futon' by Uchikubi Gokumon Doukoukai), Italian ('Zitti e buoni' by Måneskin, Italy, Eurovision 2021; I said 'holy shit' aloud when Rei launched into rapid Italian rapping) and increasingly fast Ukrainian ('Shum' by Go_A, Ukraine, Eurovision 2021).

Tem sang the Eurovision song 'Who the Hell Is Edgar?' by Teya and Salena (Austria, Eurovision 2023), which I'd somehow forgotten about completely even though it's about being possessed by Edgar Allan Poe, and the Eurovision-adjacent 'Money, Money, Money' by Abba. Xe also performed 'Idol' by YOASOBI and 'Gimme chocolate!!' by BABYMETAL, both of which looked absolutely exhausting. Tem's passionate BABYMETAL dancing had to be cut short, alas, because it kept causing terrible audio feedback whenever the microphone pointed at the speaker.

The final song was 'Eurovusion (Open Up)' by Two Hearts, which everyone joined in on. It's not technically a Eurovision song, but it is a song about Eurovision (and also a blast).

To end the evening, we watched the 2008 film version of Mamma Mia!, which was also good ridiculous fun! Tem had never seen Mamma Mia! before and, indeed, hadn't heard much ABBA. 'I don't know why I haven't been watching this film on a regular basis,' xe commented. 'This is the best film ever made.'

Tem had glittered up dramatically for the occasion, meaning that, using our shared bathroom afterwards, I ended up covered in collateral glitter. This is not a rare occurrence. I've become a lot more sparkly ever since Tem joined our household.

I'm so glad I watched Severance. It blends two of my absolute favourite themes in fiction, 'weird memory issues' and 'characters developing intense relationships while isolated together in strange circumstances'. It's perfect.

Plus it has multiple versions of the same character, which is always a bonus!

It's interesting to see the different ways characters think of their 'other selves'. Outie Mark says in the first episode that there's no 'other' him. He's the one who shows up and does the work; he just doesn't remember it.

The innies generally seem to think of their outies as more or less separate people, though, with varying levels of relevance to them. When you're aware of just how much you don't know, I imagine it's harder to think of the person outside as still being 'you'. Perhaps they have friends, perhaps they have a family, but you have no way of knowing, and all of those people would be strangers to you.

I suppose it's also harder to think of your outie as you when you're aware of how much power they have over you. From the outie's perspective, they go to work, they forget what they did at work, they go home. The actions of their innie don't really impact them, unless they experience physical harm at work or leave the office late. When you're an innie, though, someone else is choosing the clothes you wear; someone else has the power to refuse your resignation request, or could make the decision to resign themselves, effectively ending your existence; someone else drank too much last night, and now you have to drag yourself through the work day with their hangover.

All this helps to explain why the innies constantly throw around the words 'innie' and 'outie', whereas I don't think we ever hear outie Mark refer to his work self as his 'innie'. It's just him at work; why would he need a term for that? They're terms that the outside world seems to be aware of, but we only hear them in regular use inside Lumon.

Riona: The trouble with Severance is that it's really hard to make the different versions of the same character make out.
Rei: Yeah, that doesn't really seem possible.
Riona: I mean, I'll find a way. I'm just saying it's a challenge.

Despite my best efforts, though, I suspect I may have to admit defeat. I don't think I can get Mark to make out with himself. He hates himself too much, and not in a sexy way; Mark is self-loathing in a quiet, wet, pathetic way that doesn't have any sexual tension behind it.

Helly, however, absolutely hates herself in a sexy way. I'm not saying I'm going to write hideous noncon selfcest about the two versions of Helly, but I do think someone should.

I've just got my first ending in AI: The Somnium Files: nirvanA Initiative, so it seems a good time to gather my thoughts on this bizarre game so far!

A text Ginger sent to our household chat shortly after Tem and I started playing this game:

Ginger: All I just heard from the lounge was Riona and Tem saying in unison 'eyeball tamagotchi'.

Why does this game have a feature where you raise a tamagotchi of an eyeball? I have no idea, but I'm delighted.

When I opened the in-game menu, a pop-up that said 'Worried about life?' appeared. I said yes, and the protagonist's AI eyeball tried to give us therapy.

And my more spoilery thoughts are beneath the cut! I'm up to... hmm, I'm not confident on the names of the characters, and I don't want to look them up in case I get spoiled. The Shoma and Komeji ending? The kid and his disconcertingly square-headed comedian father.


( Notes on AI: The Somnium Files: nirvanA Initiative. )


Rei: Why do I always walk in during the weird sex parts of your game?
Tem: Because this game is entirely composed of weird sex parts.

In an episode of Taskmaster, contestants are trying to get a loo roll through a toilet seat dangling from a washing line.

'What, is Pyramid Head doing his laundry?' Rei asks, scathing.

We take a moment to process this. What?

Pyramid Head has a toilet seat, Rei explains, when we express our confusion.

As in... he owns a toilet? He hangs around near a toilet in Silent Hill?

No, Rei says. Pyramid Head has a toilet seat on his head.

Ginger and I are confused. What is on Pyramid Head's head is quite famously not a toilet seat.

Ah, no. Rei sees where the misunderstanding came in here. Pyramid Head has a pyramid on his head, obviously. Rei's not stupid.

The toilet seat is underneath the pyramid.

We ask: is there a human head with a toilet seat on top of it and the pyramid on top of that?

No, Rei says, incredulous that we'd suggest such a thing. There's no head. There's just a toilet seat and then the pyramid over it. Obviously. He's a monster.

Rei was absolutely genuine in their belief in Pyramid Toilet Head, and none of us can understand how this has happened.

(Riona: Is it all right if I tell the story of Pyramid Toilet Head on my Dreamwidth?
Rei: Only if you make it clear that I'm as perturbed by all of this as you are.)

Tem visited earlier than anticipated, which means we were able to make more progress in Life Is Strange: True Colors! I think we've almost finished episode three; we've just played through the scene in Charlotte's studio.


( Spoilers for (most of) episode three of Life Is Strange: True Colors. )


I wasn't sure what to expect when I heard True Colors was being made by Deck Nine instead of Dontnod, but I'm having a great time so far! (A great and extremely stressful time, as is traditional with Life Is Strange games.) Looking forward to finishing episode three and seeing what developments and regrets lie beyond.

Ginger: You should write the Death Note tennis scene where Light and L are overanalysing everything, but instead of playing tennis they're having sex.
Riona: I have wanted to write that for months. I just can't write sex scenes!
Rei: Write it anyway.

I tried!


Title: Cornered
Fandom: Death Note
Rating: R
Pairing: Light/L
Wordcount: 1,900
Summary: Light stares at L, calculating. This is a test.
Warnings: Consent issues.


( Cornered )

Delightful comment on my 'Price and McKinley having shared dreams of Hell' Book of Mormon fic: I had to google what 'onanism' is and uh - I learnt a new word I guess.


I started watching The Politician with Rei, not knowing anything at all about it, and shrieked 'WHAT?' when the creators of Glee showed up in the opening credits.

The Politician, it turns out, is all about how student president elections are the most serious thing in the world. So serious. You cannot imagine how serious they are. Absolutely grounds for smear campaigns and murder. IF YOU'RE NOT SCHOOL PRESIDENT, YOU'LL NEVER BE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.

It's exactly as bad and compelling as its pedigree might lead you to expect. There's one bit where the protagonist and his Mandarin tutor kiss, and it's meant to be very emotional and serious, but it's absolutely hilarious because they literally met three minutes ago. The scene is their first real conversation; there has been no room for timejumps. Here's the scene. (The show's failure to include room for time to pass also means the Mandarin lesson itself lasts approximately thirty seconds.)

Rewatching High School Musical 3 was a very weird experience after encountering The Politician.

Riona: Holy shit, Taylor's the student president.
Rei: She must have killed so many people.
Taylor: My future? I'm going to be the president of the United States.
Riona and Rei: OH NO


In better television news, I've finished the fourth season of Psych!

'Shawn Takes a Shot in the Dark' is a top-quality episode. Shawn spends most of it bleeding, scared, alone, in pain and/or tied up. At one point he's also being choked. I love this show.

'You Can't Handle This Episode': Shawn can't consider going to Uganda with his girlfriend because 'Psych is here and Gus is here'. (I hope that, in Uganda, she runs into the Book of Mormon characters.)

I love that, when Ewan says he'd usually 'take out' the men in their way on the investigation, Shawn assumes he means 'take them out on a date' (and is up for the concept) and is deeply shocked to realise he means 'kill them'.

'Thrill Seekers and Hell Raisers': Gus takes Shawn to cuddle rabbits to soften the blow of the news that Gus has a girlfriend. He knows Shawn's going to take it hard.

'Oh, obviously you're jealous because Gus is in a healthy, stable relationship and you're not.' You're not quite there, Shawn's dad. You're thinking in the right area, but you're not entirely there.

'The Head, the Tail, the Whole Damn Episode': I enjoy Lassiter being a great big weirdo whose solution to any obstruction at all, including 'the boat rental place is out of boats', is PULL OUT YOUR GUN, although the amusement is tempered by the fact that, by all accounts, far too many armed police officers are actually like that.

'Mr Yin Presents...': Mary jumps on the idea of marrying Shawn and Yang so they can have conjugal visits! I'm a little sad Shawn didn't go for it. Come on, Shawn, you'll probably get some information out of it. Information and nightmares.

Lassiter sacrificed his gun to save Juliet! He loves that gun more than anything! Lassiter/Juliet is such a great ship and I'm sad it's clearly not going to be canon. (I almost said 'the same applies to Shawn/Gus', but Shawn/Gus is canon, frankly.)

A long time ago, I posted here to say 'should I watch The Mentalist?' and half the comments said 'NO, WATCH PSYCH INSTEAD' and I went 'screw you, I'm watching The Mentalist.' One might wonder why I bothered asking the opinion of my flist if I was just going to ignore it.

I don't regret my decision to watch The Mentalist at all, but all the enthusiastic recommendations for Psych stuck in my mind, so I'm checking it out at last. Only took me a decade.

Riona: I'm not sure about Shawn. I think he's a bit too much of an arsehole for me.
Rei: He acts exactly like Patrick Jane. You love Patrick Jane.
Riona: Maybe I just don't like Shawn because he's not traumatised enough.

I've heard the character dynamics of Psych compared to Scrubs, and it was slightly weird to go in with the set of expectations that that creates. I wanted Shawn and Gus to love each other as much as JD and Turk do, and of course I was inevitably to be disappointed, because nobody has ever loved anyone as much as JD and Turk love each other.

'Turk, we're not married.'
'Dude, we're a little married.'
'I know. I love it.'

(There's a late Scrubs episode where JD says 'I love you more than Turk' to Elliot and I yelled 'NO YOU FUCKING DON'T' at the screen. While I do enjoy the implication that 'I love you more than Turk' is the most romantic thing JD could possibly say, that was absolutely, one hundred percent a lie. No question about it. I defy anyone to watch Scrubs and try to claim it was true.)

Given the JD-and-Turk comparisons I'd heard, it was a bit of a surprise that Gus plays the longsuffering straight man to Shawn's wackiness, whereas JD and Turk are both ridiculous and cheerfully enable each other in their ridiculousness (and JD would never delight in Turk's suffering the way Shawn does in Gus's). I am sort of shipping Shawn with poor longsuffering Gus, though.

Shawn and Lassiter's dynamic is also very different to JD and Dr Cox's. Lassiter genuinely seems to dislike Shawn; JD is important to Dr Cox, although Dr Cox would never admit it. Shawn enjoys pushing Lassiter's buttons; meanwhile, JD adores Dr Cox, craves his approval and pushes his buttons without intent, because Dr Cox is a man made entirely of buttons.

A cat features prominently in the fifth episode of Psych, and Zuko watched the episode in fascination for twenty solid minutes. Then the episode froze and he wandered off while I was restarting it, and I genuinely felt bad. He'd been enjoying the episode so much, and now he wasn't going to find out how it ended! Riona, Zuko is a kitten and he's not that invested in following procedural plots.

To be honest, I'm disappointed that the episode didn't end with Shawn deciding to keep the cat. I'm enjoying the show so far, but it was improved immeasurably by Shawn carrying a cat into all the crime scenes.

I ask two things of Kingdom Hearts III:

- I want it to be heartfelt. I want it to love its characters, and to be having fun. I want it to feel something.
- I want it to be nonsense. If this game isn't absolute incomprehensible bullshit from start to finish, I'm demanding my money back.

Will this game fulfil my dreams?




It's time to find out.

I've now played through the opening of Kingdom Hearts III, and here are my thoughts so far! No major plot spoilers, but I'm putting these notes under a cut anyway, because I know a lot of you are planning to play this game and I don't want to give anything away. I've just finished the first gummi-ship segment.


( First impressions of Kingdom Hearts III. )


This game is already fulfilling my dreams, and my drops, and my distances.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer has always seemed like the sort of thing I should have watched; I've seen the musical episode about five times, but almost nothing else. But at last I'm actually getting around to it! Rei's been rewatching the occasional episode in my earshot, and the one that finally made me go 'fine, I'm going to start watching Buffy from the beginning' was one in which Giles was secretly sapping Buffy's powers for some sort of test and felt horrible about it.

Rei came into the room while I was watching the fourth episode.

Rei: Oh, are you watching Buffy now?
Riona: I am! I started watching because I was really interested in Buffy and Giles's relationship, and—
Rei: oh no
Riona: NOT IN A BAD WAY.
(pause)
Riona: I can't promise I won't end up down that well.

I resumed the episode.

'I think there are too many guys in your life,' Giles said to Buffy.

'I'll be honest: that line feels weird now,' I said.

Rei's apparently following a blogger who feels that Buffy only makes sense if Giles is in love with Buffy. I'm sort of half-watching through that lens now, and it does seem to fit. I blame Rei for bringing it up. (There is, let's be honest, a good chance that I'd have come to this conclusion on my own, but I blame Rei regardless.)

Other observations:

- Everything is so nineties and I love it.

- In appearance, speech and mannerisms, Xander feels like the child of Joey and Chandler from Friends. (Willow feels like Bambi. Her eyes are so big!)

- I spend sixty percent of Angel's screentime going 'I'm not sure I'm feeling the chemistry here' and forty percent going 'ahahaha, you voiced Leon in Kingdom Hearts.' (I am spending one hundred percent of that time being delighted by his constant brooding expression. He's so serious!)

- I cannot believe the plot of episode four was 'sexy teacher is actually a giant mantis in disguise'. I can believe there's an episode with that plot somewhere in Buffy. I can't believe it was so early on. I can't believe, in the first season of Buffy, they went 'okay, brand new show, we have to come up with twelve episode ideas, there are all sorts of supernatural concepts and creatures we could play with; where do we start? Oh, we'd better make sure we have the sexy praying mantis substitute teacher in there somewhere.'

(I always thought it was 'preying mantis' because they preyed on smaller insects! I was convinced! I've only just learnt, in research for this entry, that the spelling is actually 'praying mantis' because they look like they're in prayer. I can't believe I've been so confidently wrong about this for so long.)