rionaleonhart | Extreme Romance.

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Extreme Romance.

(EDIT: Who just sent me an anonymous vgift? Thank you so much! ♥!)

Happy Valentine's Day! Would anyone like an incredibly terrible poem?

WARNING: I AM NOT JOKING WHEN I SAY THEY WILL BE INCREDIBLY TERRIBLE. Here are some of my compositions so far:

For my ex-housemate (but also dedicated with love to the Hannahs on my flist):

OH HANNAH
YOU ARE NOT A SPANNER
EVERYONE ELSE IS AN ALSO-RANNER
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY

For my housemate from Nottingham and her unrhymable name:

OH RACH
OWING TO SOUTHERN INFLUENCE YOU NO LONGER DROP YOUR 'H'...S
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY

For myself (yes, I composed a Valentine's Day poem for myself), and possibly the worst of the lot due to slightly unfortunate rhyming:

OH HARRIET
JOIN ME IN MY CHARIOT
LOTS OF LOVE FROM JUDAS ISCARIOT
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY

If you would like an appalling poem, let me know in the comments! (If you give me your name and/or nicknames as well, that might make things easier.)

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My personal favourite of all Valentines is in Kingdom of Loathing, sent by Ed the Undying - an ancient mummy who is completely immortal, and shouts "UNDYING!" between the many times you kill him. You actually fight him seven times, reducing him to fewer and fewer bits each time. In between, you get little interludes, such as:

You triumphantly step over the mummy's fallen husk, and reach for the Holy MacGuffin within the sarcophagus. It is nearly within your grasp, when you suddenly feel a bony grip on your ankle. "Not that easy, kiddo. Undying, remember?"

"Hell," you mutter. "I was hoping you were just bluffing."

"Nope."

and

Ed growls in inarticulate fury, his eyes blazing (though not as brightly as before).

"C'mon, dude. This is ridiculous."

"UNDYING!"

"sigh."

Anyway. On Valentine's Day, you can buy little pre-written poems with pictures to append to messages you send. Each is related to a certain character or monster, such as the BASIC Elemental (I've said it before / And I'll say it again: / 10 PRINT "I Love You" / 20 GOTO 10) or the ninja pirate zombie robot (AVAST VALENTINE-CHAN / I'M STRUCK BY YER BEAUTY / I LOVE YOU MORE THAN LOGIC / BRAINS, HONOR, OR BOOTY.). To finally get to the point, as I said, my favourite is Ed the Undying.

I'm so into you
That the grave I'm defying,
I promise my love for you
Will be... UNDYING!!!
Which I personally thought was hilarious. Anyway, having overused comment space, I would not at all mind a poem!

I'm having trouble processing the intense amounts of awesome in this comment entirely about Kingdom of Loathing. How I love that game. *__*

It is magnificent. Too much funny and interesting in a very playable space. And I actually occasionally learn things from it, like the controversy of Jethro Tull winning a Best Heavy Metal Album Grammy over Metallica that one time. (It was in an attack message about flutes.)

Kingdom of Loathing sounds hilarious! And I am bizarrely touched by that BASIC Valentine.

OH PATRICK
MY LOVE FOR YOU IS GALACTIC
ALTHOUGH I HAVE TO CONFESS THAT ON THIS OCCASION I HAD TO RESORT TO THE 'ONLINE RHYMING DICTIONARY' TACTIC

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY

IT IS THE BEST POEM EVER. Naturally I have to either now reciprocate or steal you away for a romantic journey to, I dunno, um, where are romantic journeys these days, somewhere exotic but with no shooting, anyway that sounds complicated so I'll just reciprocate.

OH HARRIET
YOU CAUGHT MY HEART WITH A LARIAT
SO NOW YOU'LL HAVE TO CARRY-IT
I DO HOPE YOU DON'T BURY-IT
OH COME ON THAT WAS TOTALLY A RHYME YOU DON'T HAVE TO DISPARRY-IT
(DISPARRY IS SHORT FOR DISPARAGE)
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY

You should sign up (http://www.kingdomofloathing.com)! It's fun and free and hilarious and it doesn't take up too much time per day due to the Adventure limit and I certainly don't have an ulterior motive like speeding up the time until my rather small clan gets a Clan Basement to unlock Hobopolis and the Slime Tube.

Ahem.

The game features Somerset Lopez, Dread Mariachi.

My name is almost unrhymable! I am incredibly impressed! Even if you cheated a bit. ('Disparry-it' made me laugh extremely hard.)

Oh, dear. It's tempting, but I really can't justify signing up to an online game right now. Remind me in June and we'll see.

One could, at this point, pull a Lewis Carroll and make up strange creatures such as the "varriet" and "tentarriat", who indulge in forms of recreation known as "sarriet". But then one would have an army of uninspired fanboys taking all the wrong meanings from everything.

I SHALL DO SO, THEN.

OMG THE BASIC VALENTINE'S POEM <3 <3 <3!

I'm actually legitimately touched by the BASIC poem. Not by BASIC Elementals, though, I hate 'em, stupid not-dropping-anything not-droppers.

Fighting Ed is one of my favorite parts SOLELY because of his "Look, this is ridiculous." "UNDYING" bit XD (of course, I can't say the actual fighting is a favorite because it ISN'T.)

(Scuse. I'm kittycoring at the moment and have been since December and it's sort of been driving me nuts. But I finally unlocked the tower so!...I guess I just have to prepare to get beaten up. A lot.)

Oh, you have my sympathies. I haven't kittied at all yet - indeed, I'm engaging in my first Hardcore ascension now, and I've been throwing ten-leafed clovers around like they're going out of fashion - but I can well understand the problems, especially against Ed the "Mass Genocide Is One Of The Most Exhausting Activities One Can Engage In, Next To Soccer" Undying. I love Ed for his character and his intro and his outro and his Valentine, but damn, when I had to fight him in my last run I was glad I was an overlevelled Turtle Tamer.

Keep the reward in mind, I suppose? And remember, even when she stops you from healing yourself at the pivotal moment, cats are still adorable.

Yup, I'm sort of glad I'm getting it out of the way, at least. Heh, definitely think I'm going rounin for my next run though. Something easy! (except I'm considering going for booztefarian so...er...) Playing as a Disco Bandit now, as that's the only way to kittycore unless you're a MASOCHIST so perming cocktail crafting I think.

XD it's so silly, how I keep wanting to ascendascendascend just to perm things to use in the next ascension. Oh, KOL.

I WENT THE SAME CLASS AS LAST TIME AND SPECIFICALLY CHOSE HARDCORE IN ORDER TO HC-PERM TORSO AWAREGNESS AS EARLY AS POSSIBLE SO THAT I'D NEVER HAVE TO KEEP IT IN MIND WHEN PICKING MOON SIGNS AGAIN.

...Um, by which I think I mean that it's probably not too unlikely. (I want all skills. All of them. Ever.)

Boozetafarian with permed cocktailcrafting probably won't be too bad! Or teetotal with Transcendental Noodlecrafting. Or breatharian with... um... hmmm... very forgiving clanmates?

Alhs;ljghs torso awareness WANT. But-but...ARG WHY SO HARD TO MAKE PERMING DECISIONS KOL? WHY. Mumble mumble if I permed cocktail crafting this run, then quick a quick BM speed run for torso awareness...or vice versa...HMMMM.

It would make more sense to perm torso awareness, wouldn't it? I could do normal HC with the disco bandit next and get cocktail crafting that way...(you are not alone in wanting ever single skill always. And then I'll be a turtle tamer. It was my first ever character and I LIKE being a TT)

XD breatharian with a million tiny chocolate cars.

Turtle Tamers are great. When you've got Hero of the Halfshell and Tao of the Terrapin (and a six-rainbow shield due to finding cheap prismatic wads in the mall yay), you're taking single-digit damage from everything. You're a massive lumbering titan of turtle-based doom.

I'D SAY GO COCKTAILCRAFTING NOW BECAUSE YOU CAN GET TORSO AWAREGNESS IN ANY CLASS AND ALSO THAT FREES YOU UP TO GO BOOZETAFARIAN MUCH MORE EASILY

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saaski-moql.livejournal.com - 2010-02-22 03:55 (UTC) - Expand

And in the spirit of the post!

OH KADRIN
KOL IS FULL OF WIN
I HOPE YOU FARE WELL IN THE WAR ON THE ISLAND

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY.

SASAKI
DISCUSSING THIS MALARKEY
HAS MADE ME FEEL PARKY
(It's like perky, but with a flavour of being interviewed by an extremely famous Englishman.)
AND QUITE MARKY MARKY
SO I THINK I'LL GO STAR IN AN UNNECESSARY REMAKE OF THE ITALIAN JOB
GOOD LUCK NOT HAVING THE CAT BAT AWAY HEDGE MAZE PUZZLES
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY
MAY SOMEONE SEND YOU A NINJAPIRATEZOMBIEROBOT

THAT LAST PART DOESN'T RHYME QUITE RIGHT BUT I LOVE IT ANYWAY.

This is the best Valentine's Day post ever.

REALLY NONE OF IT RHYMES PROPERLY DUE TO MY MISREADING WHERE THE S IS

I MUST EAT THE FISH OF SHAME

Well, Vamlumtime's Day is serious times. IT BRINGS PEOPLE TOGETHER

"Mass Genocide Is One Of The Most Exhausting Activities One Can Engage In, Next To Soccer"

FFFFFFFFFF WHY HELLO DOGMA QUOTE.

"What did you do? You lit a few fires."

i will be in the corner, loling.

KOL, IT IS MY LIFE RIGHT NOW.

AND IT IS RIGHT THAT IT BE SO man I'm capslocking a lot today. Though, naturally, I always use the Shift key. It is the proper and noble way to capslock.

Man, I was so happy when my first shirt dropped earlier today. Kadrin the Turtle Tamer finally put a shirt on, and leaves the pantheon of underdressed fantasy female characters. (Though she's a stick-figure, which was never exactly titilating.)

Emmarrrrr the Disco Bandit is still woefully underdressed (and, also, only level 7. I've been grinding in the Hidden Temple so I can beat the Goblin King.) It has been far too long since I played this game. Every time, I end up making a new character.

Also, yes, the Shift key is the noble way to capslock.

This time I've donated (four times - I have a Mr. A, a dancing frog, and a Libram of BRICKOs Summoning) so Kadrin should be permanent now. Which is good, in case I forget completely about the game again!

Just pressing the button doesn't have the same passionate intensity.

I hope your happy. I have now been sucked into Kingdom of Loathing entirely because of this thread.

(I'm a Disco Bandit and haven't ascended at all yet.)

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