Trabia Garden

Now, the Richard Hammond fans among you may recall that he had, er, a minor three-hundred-mile-an-hour jet-car accident in late September and survived it, because he is superhuman, and, not satisfied with merely being alive, said 'screw you!' to the doctors who said he'd be in hospital for fifteen months, employed Wolverine-esque healing powers and was out of there by November.

Well, he has now given his first television interview since the accident, which is absolutely lovely because look at him! He's healthy and cheerful and making jokes about it and more adorable than ever and honestly, Richard, you had a three-hundred-mile-an-hour crash three months ago, what right do you have to be absolutely fine? Not that I am not absolutely thrilled about this, because I am.

(The videos are no longer available, sadly.)

The part missing from between the two is Jonathan saying that, if Richard had died, there was no chance that Mindy would have moved on, because, when your options are Jeremy Clarkson and James May, you're obviously going to raise the children by yourself. Which is a fair point, even though I and the weirder members of my friendslist may personally disagree with it.

Also, I bet Jonathan Ross writes dreadful Jeremy/Richard angstfic.

(While I'm linking to things, although I think that most of the Scrubs fans among you will probably have already seen this, have Turk and JD singing a duet about Not Being Gay (video no longer available). It is marvellous.)

On another note, I laughed until I couldn't breathe at the end of the final episode of Oz and James's Big Wine Adventure. I now firmly believe that, although I don't plan to, I would have every excuse to write nothing but James/Oz for the rest of my life, because that was the most astonishingly homosexual thing that I have ever seen. While romantic music played and Oz and James talked about their profound love for each other (including Oz referring to the trip as a 'holiday romance'), clips were shown of Oz looking at James’ crotch in the shower, Oz looking at the sleeping James and licking his lips, James calling Oz ‘beautiful’, Oz putting his arm around James’ waist as they watched the sunset. It was amazing (and look! m_l_h has caps!). Someone obviously had a lot of fun with the editing there, and I sincerely hope that Clarkson and Hammond mock May about it a lot when the new series of Top Gear starts (late January! eee!).

Well, er, I was thinking about making a non-Richard-Hammond-related entry to celebrate the fact that he seems to be making a remarkable recovery and therefore not weighing nearly so heavily on my mind, but I couldn't think of anything else to talk about. And then the news came through that he'd been moved from the high-dependency unit into a regular ward - the second shift in two days, I can't believe how fast he's progressing (although I suppose it makes sense, as Hamster's always been very much about the speed). And I was going to wait for some more news before I mentioned that, but then I read the article on the Sky News website (I find it more amusing than I should that all the articles are beginning to refer to him as 'Hamster'), which said this:

But so many flowers have been sent to the hospital that Hammond is "worried Jeremy Clarkson and James May will start taking the mickey".

And then I exploded with love for the three of them for the fifteenth time today and just had to post it up.

(All the pictures of him in the news make him look like David Tennant. Richard Hammond would make a fantastic Doctor. The enthusiasm! The energy!

There, see? Silly crossovers. This journal is slowly-but-surely returning to its regular self.)

Good news and a rant:

James May has said that he has had a conversation with Richard Hammond (which is good news, no matter what certain doommongering gits may say), and that he believes that the Hammond he knows is perfectly intact.

And now I become very angry with Certain News Reporters.

Dear doommongering gits of TV news reporters, and in particular That Man Who Is Reporting From Leeds Hospital For Sky News Right Now, You Know That One, That One Whose Name Begins With G But Is Not Gordon, I Cannot Quite Remember His Name But I Know He Is A Git:

Stop being doommongering gits.

I thought that Savage bloke reporting for the BBC was being overly pessimistic, and then Not Gordon came along and proved me completely wrong. The annoying thing is that I really liked Tom Whatshisname, who was reporting for Sky News earlier. He seemed genuinely interested in how Richard Hammond was doing, rather than blowing it up into a 'good story'. Also, I liked that he seemed to be as amused and touched by the 'you're a crap driver' story as I was, because he took every opportunity to repeat it with an adorable little smile.

Not Gordon is saying, "He's been moved out of the intensive care unit, but that may mean nothing. The doctors say he's improved, but that could just mean the swelling's gone down or something, it might not actually mean anything at all."

Look, Not Gordon, they've changed his condition from 'serious but stable' to 'stable'. That means that he has improved.

Not Gordon is saying, "James May is saying that he had a conversation with him, but it seems rather contradictory as Jeremy Clarkson couldn't get any reaction from him at all earlier, so we have to wonder whether it was a rather one-sided conversation."

Look, Not Gordon, Jeremy Clarkson was able to get a reaction by insulting him and May said very specifically that it was a conversation and you are a git. I want to know how Hammond actually is. I don't want to hear your stupid 'you know, all this good news might be nothing' talk just because you want to make it into good suspenseful television. This is a man's life, not your bloody plaything, and if you don't have facts to back up your dismissals and your doom-laden speculations I don't want to hear them.

When you say 'significant brain injury', what do you mean? (oh please Hammond be all right.)

When you say 'hopes of a good recovery', what do you mean by 'good'? How recovered is 'good'?

There is one reassuring thing about this latest batch of news, which is that it is beginning to sound as if he is decidedly not at the brink of death. This is a relief, because I've been incredibly worried every time I've checked my friendslist or the news that the unspeakable might have happened. 'Significant brain injury' is still very alarming, but it's less alarming than 'critical condition', and the apparent optimism of the doctors gives me hope.

Although it would probably be more helpful if I could be sure what they meant by 'good'.

I hope you come out of this safe and well, Hamster. Good luck. You're supposed to outlive us all and continue to be boyish and enthusiastic and adorable until the end of time, you know.

(I am in a state right now and will update as many times as I like, thank you.)


EDIT: In a statement from James May: "...he does seem to be the same Richard that I know and love."

I'm staying wary about this until the BBC have confirmed that it's real, but that's the most reassuring thing I've heard all day. I do feel much better now.

EDIT THE SECOND: Yes, a second source for the May quote! It certainly is better to know that.

oh god

Richard Hammond has been seriously injured in a jet-powered-car crash

oh my god please let him be okay

(it says critical condition and he was travelling at 280 miles an hour and I'm so frightened)