Trabia Garden

Right now, dracothelizard is writing a fanfic in which James Sunderland, James May, James Wilson, James Norrington and James of Team Rocket are all stuck in Silent Hill.

I love her.

I do not, however, love her for sending me an e-mail with the following sentence in:

James Sunderland looks a bit like an older Chase.

AND THEN MY BRAIN EXPLODED.

The thing that frightens me the most about this is that it actually makes sense. James could easily be an older Chase. They certainly share qualities (the ever-so-slight incompetence, a certain degree of selfishness and oh, it is so, so difficult to resist making a huge and confusing post about Chase's actions in Hunting and his possible motives and how they compare to Sunderland), and they do look alike, but I cannot think about this because it is an insane and terrifying concept that makes me want to cry. Also because I actually really sort of want to write fanfiction about Chase's slow descent into becoming the man we see in Silent Hill 2 and his thoughts on the parallels between Mary and Cameron, and I shouldn't because it would be insane.

Although, perhaps, not quite as insane as James, James, James, James and James in Silent Hill.

I love that I can seem relatively normal next to Draco. Fic-writing-wise, she is the Clarkson to my May.

Now, the Richard Hammond fans among you may recall that he had, er, a minor three-hundred-mile-an-hour jet-car accident in late September and survived it, because he is superhuman, and, not satisfied with merely being alive, said 'screw you!' to the doctors who said he'd be in hospital for fifteen months, employed Wolverine-esque healing powers and was out of there by November.

Well, he has now given his first television interview since the accident, which is absolutely lovely because look at him! He's healthy and cheerful and making jokes about it and more adorable than ever and honestly, Richard, you had a three-hundred-mile-an-hour crash three months ago, what right do you have to be absolutely fine? Not that I am not absolutely thrilled about this, because I am.

(The videos are no longer available, sadly.)

The part missing from between the two is Jonathan saying that, if Richard had died, there was no chance that Mindy would have moved on, because, when your options are Jeremy Clarkson and James May, you're obviously going to raise the children by yourself. Which is a fair point, even though I and the weirder members of my friendslist may personally disagree with it.

Also, I bet Jonathan Ross writes dreadful Jeremy/Richard angstfic.

(While I'm linking to things, although I think that most of the Scrubs fans among you will probably have already seen this, have Turk and JD singing a duet about Not Being Gay (video no longer available). It is marvellous.)

On another note, I laughed until I couldn't breathe at the end of the final episode of Oz and James's Big Wine Adventure. I now firmly believe that, although I don't plan to, I would have every excuse to write nothing but James/Oz for the rest of my life, because that was the most astonishingly homosexual thing that I have ever seen. While romantic music played and Oz and James talked about their profound love for each other (including Oz referring to the trip as a 'holiday romance'), clips were shown of Oz looking at James’ crotch in the shower, Oz looking at the sleeping James and licking his lips, James calling Oz ‘beautiful’, Oz putting his arm around James’ waist as they watched the sunset. It was amazing (and look! m_l_h has caps!). Someone obviously had a lot of fun with the editing there, and I sincerely hope that Clarkson and Hammond mock May about it a lot when the new series of Top Gear starts (late January! eee!).

Everyone seems to be writing the fascinating and hilarious little informative capsules of kadrin’s invention on their original universes, and it looks rather like fun but I cannot join in on account of not having any original universes of my own, alas. I am just not an innovative person, which is sad. It’s why I don’t write original fiction and why I like those ‘prompt me to write’ memes and playing the ‘Go On, Write The Crackfic, You Know You Want To’ game: I can write once I’ve got an idea, but I cannot come up with ideas myself. My 2004 NaNo was original fiction, and I quickly discovered that I was completely incapable of creating a world that made the least amount of sense: I blatantly ripped off Silent Hill, stuck features wherever I needed them regardless of whether it was remotely logical (‘A TROPICAL RAINFOREST IN THE MIDDLE OF AN AREA OF PERPETUAL SNOW AND COLDNESS? WHY NOT?’*) and was so engrossed in making the characters yell at each other that I failed to notice that I had inadvertently made them complete idiots by having them walk to their destination instead of taking the already-established train.

My point is that ALL YOU PEOPLE WHO CAN CREATE HUGE AND DETAILED AND FASCINATING FICTIONAL UNIVERSES SUCK, and that all those of you who are interested in huge and detailed and fascinating fictional universes should definitely check out kadrin’s notes on Avarr, the awesome awesome awesome original universe about which I never tire of finding out more and for which I envy him hugely. And look! Here is his fiction set in it, although I am sure that there has got to be more of it somewhere, and basically the entire point of this post is that kadrin is amazing.

And now I must apologise to him for being ever-so-slightly creepy and fangirlish. Sorry, kadrin.

* not an actual example.