Trabia Garden

Someone has given me an anonymous virtual rose! Thank you so much! I <3 you too, whoever you are.

No cards (not that I was expecting any; I've never received a Valentine's card from anyone other than my mother), but I did get a letter from newbie1990, which is so much better because Valentine's cards do not contain lines like 'Wilson sighed. "When I said 'try to be nice', you took that as 'be insulting at every possible opportunity', didn't you?' ALTHOUGH THEY ALSO DO NOT GENERALLY CONTAIN DRAWINGS OF PYRAMID HEAD. I WISH PEOPLE WOULD STOP SENDING ME DRAWINGS OF PYRAMID HEAD. Still, it is a lovely letter, and one of the paragraphs starts with 'Jsdfkl!!', which made me smile rather a lot. Handwritten keyboardmashes are bizarre. (Is there really a character in Heroes called 'HRG'? What sort of name is HRG?)

Also, I have watched 'Skin', the sixth episode of Supernatural. ( Spoilers for 'Skin'. )

Is this a terrible thing to think about on Valentine's Day? It probably is, isn't it?

Anyway! Happy Valentine's Day, beloved flist! Due to my perpetually single state, this day is always a celebration of platonic love for me, so I want you to know that I adore you all. If you are on my friendslist, know that you have in some way brightened my life.

ASKJHFSDKJGDSHGDGH WHO SENT ME A BOOK OF SIXTIES SONGS FOR THE UKULELE? Oh, wait, I've just found the cunningly-hidden order info. THANK YOU SO MUCH, livii; YOU ARE AMAZING.

Also, draegonhawke has sent another letter, about interesting potential moral dilemmas for the Stargate team and SOMETHING I CANNOT UNDERSTAND BECAUSE IT IS INEXPLICABLY WRITTEN IN RUSSIAN, and an incredibly awesome flat plastic magnifying-glass thing! I am genuinely ridiculously fascinated by it and have been using it to examine everything within reach for the past five minutes. HOW DOES IT MAGNIFY THINGS WITHOUT BEING NOTICEABLY CURVED? IT IS LIKE MAGIC. And it comes with its own little case! Although the case does not appear to have incredibly tiny secret messages anywhere on it, which would be the logical thing to include on a magnifying glass case, surely.

I also have a letter from _princess_han_ (I AM SO GLAD THAT THE POSTAL STRIKES ARE OVER), in which she talks about Richard/Richard (WHICH PEOPLE NEED TO WRITE. People have written Jeremy/Jeremy and James/James; why not Richard/Richard? Richard is the only one of the Top Gear presenters, to my knowledge, who has looked at a photograph of his younger self and said 'I quite fancy me... which is wrong') and the Top Gear boys writing fanfiction about each other (WHICH PEOPLE ALSO NEED TO WRITE. I do not care that 'the characters find out what people write about them!' is an age-old fanfiction cliché; I want there to be more Top Gear fic about the trio discovering topgearslash. And getting involved. And competing for reviews. And mocking/stealing ideas from/becoming slightly unnerved by each other's fiction. Or possibly Jeremy and Richard stumbling across the community, clicking randomly through a few fics and suddenly recognising James' writing style. Oh, go on), and, er, as you may be able to tell, it has given me some fairly powerful fic cravings. When was the last time someone posted a fic challenge to topgearslash?

I love you all so much!

ASASFKFSDGLKKGDSK THINGS! THINGS IN THE POST! Seriously, you guys, you have no idea how much it makes my day when I open the postbox to find something handwritten with my name on it. No idea.

draegonhawke has sent me a frankly amazing postcard with a drawing of Fran (FFXII, not Black Books) totally pwning Pyramid Head. NO, SERIOUSLY. THAT IS HOW AWESOME SHE IS. ('She' was written with draegonhawke in mind but could, of course, be applied with equal relevance to Fran.) The text is equally brilliant and opens with the wonderful (if slightly alarming) words, 'Because Pyramid Head attacks are such a concern among first-time students, modern universities employ squads of trained Viera to hunt them down'. I really hope that the postman read it and was horribly confused.

Also, cane_tie has sent me a letter! It is on BRIGHT YELLOW PAPER and hilariously disjointed and has a random doodle of a ukulele and 'VOTE SAXON' and hand-written emoticons and panics about awkward silences on paper and generally made me grin a ridiculous amount. Also, handwritten fanfic! About Jack and the Doctor and the Master! And it references Jack's travels with Balthier and Fran! (Their trio has become so very ingrained in my mind that I'm always a little surprised when I watch Doctor Who and Balthier and Fran aren't there.)

ALSO, IT ENDS WITH A STICK-FIGURE PYRAMID HEAD.

WHY HAVE I GOT MULTIPLE PYRAMID HEADS THROUGH THE POST TODAY? DO YOU HATE ME? IS THAT IT?

(I suppose it is slightly less horrifying if one is a stick-figure and the other has been soundly defeated by an awesome Viera. BUT STILL.)

(EDIT: ALSO ALSO ALSO wanttobeatree HAS A FIC-IN-PROGRESS ABOUT SAM TYLER AND SHERLOCK HOLMES WRITING ZOMBIES AND IT IS AMAZING.)

(EDIT II: ...AND BY 'WRITING' I MEAN 'FIGHTING'.

ERM.)

Getting actual things through the post really is the best thing ever. I don't know why I haven't given out my address before! Well, actually, I know perfectly well why I haven't given it out before; it's because I'm horribly paranoid and it's clearly only a matter of time before darthfi or jantalaimon sends me a severed leg. But still, dracothelizard sent me a card! With a dog on it! I AM NOT REMOTELY SURPRISED BY THIS. It's not a Labradoodle, though. Also, she orders me to corrupt the people of this noble institution into writing crackfic. I shall try.

I'm still working on my gigantic crossover project, albeit slowly. Part of my problem is that I keep thinking of ideas that I would love to include and then can't work out how I could possibly link them into the main plot. Awesome as it would be to have the Master, Professor Moriarty, Team Rocket, Zombie Piers Morgan, Kefka, Dr. Cid from Final Fantasy XII and quite possibly Iago from Othello all team up in the Pokémon world, I can't really include it, because a) quite a number of them are probably too proud to work with others, and b) what on Earth would I do with them? Alas.

I would like to get Zombie Piers Morgan into the fic somewhere, though. I don't know why he didn't occur to me before.

(P.S. kadrin HAS WRITTEN POKÉMON/SILENT HILL AND IT IS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING. READ IT.)

You people are amazing. Absolutely amazing. I love you and your hilarity and the way you are always so wonderfully reassuring when I need it. But most of all, I love the fact that, when I jokingly ask for fanfiction about Jeremy Clarkson failing at university, people will actually write it.

I have such insane good Internet friends.

I've decided not to bring a TV; whether my resolve will waver as the new Top Gear series approaches remains to be seen. I've also decided to leave behind the PS2, as it would be rather selfish of me to deprive my brothers of it (and also probably rather difficult to play it without a television). I am a little sad about this, especially as I was really getting into Final Fantasy VI (which I've played before but didn't manage to finish before the memory card with all my Final Fantasy saves on broke, alas), but I imagine I'll probably find other ways to fill up my time. Such as PANICKING.

Final Fantasy VI really is a brilliant game (with the awesomest overworld map and boss themes ever!), and I don't know why I haven't played it more before. Also, it is one of the few Final Fantasies in which I can name the characters whatever silly thing I feel like, as I haven't read enough fanfiction to have them permanently linked with their official names. SABIN WILL ALWAYS BE ZEKE IN MY MIND AND THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT.

TELL ME WHAT YOU RENAME THE CHARACTERS, PLAYERS OF GAMES IN WHICH YOU CAN RENAME CHARACTERS. I DO NOT CARE THAT I AM OFF TO UNIVERSITY TOMORROW; IT IS ALWAYS THE RIGHT TIME FOR SILLY VIDEOGAME-RELATED QUESTIONS.

GUYS GUYS GUYS WEDNESDAY WAS SO AWESOME THAT YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE IT.

Well, actually, it's a completely believeable sort of awesome. BUT IT WAS STILL SO SO AWESOME AND I AM SO HAPPY.

Basically, what happened was this: I went to see Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat with th_esaurus (ah, suddenly the Piers Morgan picture makes complete sense! except, y'know, not), and it was absolutely bloody brilliant. It was fun and ridiculous and gloriously, gloriously mad, and Lee Mead (who was definitely the right person to win Any Dream Will Do) ran around with a manic (and adorable) grin that reminded me quite severely of the Doctor. Lee Mead as the eleventh incarnation of the Doctor, with the technicolor coat as his outfit and a slightly worrying tendency to burst into song: awesome?

(But the coat was not red and yellow and green and brown and scarlet and black and ochre and peach and ruby and olive and violet and fawn and lilac and gold and chocolate and mauve and cream and crimson and silver and rose and azure and lemon and russet and grey and purple and white and pink and orange and red and yellow and green and brown and blue! WHAT SORT OF TECHNICOLOR DREAMCOAT IS THAT? The song lied to me! I disapprove!)

In the interval, we discussed such marvellous topics as 'James May' as rhyming slang, the Master running around in the technicolor dreamcoat (yes, my mind really is in crossover mode all the time; I cannot quite remember how this came about - I think it was because th_esaurus started singing 'I Can't Decide' - but I was quite insistent about it), Joseph's alarming slave outfit (complete with what was, essentially, a skirt) and the fact that the musical was so utterly, wonderfully insane that it felt like watching a joint project by the members of topgearslash (they are all lunatics. All of them).

Also, I got to introduce th_esaurus to my mother, who is wonderful and one of the few people from my Real Life in front of whom I can discuss Holmes/Watson mpreg and a Voldemort/Dobby fic (someone else's, I hasten to add) containing the line 'Dobby has been a naughty house-elf and needs to be punished'* completely unselfconsciously.

th_esaurus has basically promised (no matter what she may say) to write and direct the minimalist musical, 'Joseph and the Amazing Monochrome Dreamcoat'. Piers Morgan will play the role of Joseph. The ending will be the stage going dark and a large sign proclaiming 'ROCK FALLS, EVERYONE DIES'. It will be amazing. So there is something for you to look forward to! In the meantime, go and watch Joseph, because it is so much fun. (And watch it with th_esaurus if you can, because she's brilliant.)

* true story

Today, I met up with th_esaurus and we had glorious rambling sense-of-directionless adventures around the Covent Garden area! She had brought her Top Gear fingerpuppets, which are the cutest things in the entire world. Seriously, I thought I'd discovered the pinnacle of cute when I saw the photographs of them on her LJ, but they are, impossibly, even more adorable in Real Life.

Because she hates me, th_esaurus sat me down in Leicester Square and made me listen to 'Misty's Song' from the Pokémon soundtrack. It was horrific. I'm not sure that I can find the words to truly express the awfulness, although I gather from her amused reaction that my expression did so quite adequately.

Then we went to watch The Lives of Others together, which I really rather enjoyed. ( More on the film. )

The topic of Top Gear/Kingdom Hearts crossovers came up briefly while we were eating ice-cream afterwards (WHY, YES, MY DAY WAS AWESOME), and she suggested the idea of Sora developing a crush on Richard. Which would be adorable. Similarly adorable was her suggestion of Richard Hammond wingfic. Just imagine him flitting happily around while Jeremy sulks on the ground! (Jeremy Clarkson with wings is something I cannot imagine at all.)

It really was a wonderful day; I absolutely loved wandering around and rambling about Top Gear and Doctor Who and Fullmetal Alchemist and fanfiction and what would happen if one put the Doctor, the Master and River Tam in the TARDIS together. th_esaurus is fantastic, you guys! Also, she has the most prettily-shaped eyes I've ever seen.

(P.S. BODYSWAP FANFICTION.)

We fly home this evening! I have to say, I'm going to miss being in a country in which ordering lemonade means that you're going to get something with actual lemon in it. (I am not, however, going to miss the overabundance of corn syrup in everything. What on Earth, America? I didn't even know it was possible to make fudge sweeter!)

I have really enjoyed this holiday! I've developed a very good opinion of the people of California; the people we've encountered (with the exception of the angry man on the street who started yelling at me for no apparent reason) have generally seemed to be polite and intelligent (sorry, Jeremy Clarkson). I got to meet livii and deviousli, who were awesome! I am, however, missing the cats and the similarly awesome people in England, so it'll be nice to get home. General good wishes for the plane journey would be appreciated.

(We saw Jennifer Saunders and Adrian Edmondson in a bookshop. I hovered indecisively and then ran away. LOOK, I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE ETIQUETTE FOR APPROACHING FAMOUS PEOPLE IS. Apart from meeting the Top Gear boys, in which case the etiquette is going to be I AM GIVING YOU A HUG WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT.)

More importantly: happy birthday to squeemu and cane_tie! I am writing Jack/Fran/Balthier for the two of you; it probably won't be finished by the end of the day, but give me a kick if it's not up within the week.

Dear Diary: Today, I was nervous and my LJ friends were crazy. Today, we were kidnapped by a mad Canadian, never to be seen again. It was the best day ever.

Well, it was technically yesterday, and I really shouldn't be mangling a quote when I haven't yet seen the original, but otherwise I think that sums Thursday up fairly well. ladybella, tick_, th_esaurus, neobubble, sideshow_meg, hopeh, kharma2815, mad_lemming_89, darthfi (providing the first opportunity I've ever had to introduce myself to someone by saying 'You ruined my life!', which I enjoyed very much), m31andy and I all met up and inflicted ourselves upon London. They are all absolutely insane in the best possible way. (We were actually asked at one point whether it was someone's hen night, which I attribute to the fact that it was a large group, quite a few of us were wearing hats and tick_ was wearing (very fitting) devil horns, later appropriated by ladybella.)

When we first met up, everyone was very quiet and awkward, but then a sudden strong wind whipped ladybella's hat off her head and into the path of an approaching motorcycle, and watching both motorbike and hat roar off into the distance while we stood there in shock was a fairly effective icebreaker.

The conversations in Kensington Gardens somehow always seemed to come back to zombies. It was occasionally not my fault. Also, filthy limericks were written, and I am now the proud owner of a doodle of James-as-a-tortoise, courtesy of the wonderful th_esaurus.

You clearly have not lived until you've watched mad_lemming_89 (who, by the way, had drawn the most beautiful schoolboy-AU Jeremy/James picture in the world, and I hope a scan is going to show up on the Internet before too long) backing nervously away from an inquisitive squirrel. Also, we stumbled across a few Imperial Stormtroopers and Darth Vader at one point. They all attempted to chat darthfi up. The title of this entry comes from m31andy's glorious lament.

It really was a wonderfully surreal day, and I absolutely loved it. th_esaurus has photographs over here; I am the girl in the green hat who has no fashion sense whatsoever, always looks slightly gormless and sits in ways that can't be good for her legs.

(mad_lemming_89 has also posted about the day here. I'm going to update this entry with links if anyone else posts about it, mainly so it'll be easy to find all the accounts for nostalgia purposes.

kharma2815's account.
sideshow_meg's account (f-locked and slanderous. I AM NOT ZOMBIE-OBSESSED, I SWEAR).
neobubble has more photographs! (f-locked)
tick_ has photographs (f-locked) and a video (so you can hear th_esaurus' glorious poem!).)

Thank you all so much for your comments regarding university! I have been utterly overwhelmed by how lovely you all are.

As further proof that I never quite stopped being a child, I've suddenly remembered a series of computer games called Freddi Fish, aimed at children between four and eight, which I became absurdly fond of at around the age of fourteen. It was about a happy yellow cartoon fish who swam around in the ocean and solved mysteries with her best friend, a happy green cartoon fish. They sang songs about the Joys of School and foiled sharks that were pretending to be ghosts. It was generally very cheerful and silly.

My first thought, when it came to mind, was a fond recollection of Freddi Fish happily saying "We found a purple sea urchin!"

My second was 'Wow, an underwater version of Silent Hill could be really interesting, couldn't it?'

THIS IS WHY I SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED NEAR CHILDREN'S THINGS. The Freddi Fish in my mind is now cowering in terror in a dimly-lit world of dead coral, desperately trying to find Luther.

Why must Silent Hill destroy everything I love?