Trabia Garden

For each of my major fandoms, I do a short writeup talking about how it fits into my fandom history. A fandom qualifies as 'major' if I've written five fics for it, or ten thousand words across at least three fics.

With the toxic soulmates fic I posted yesterday, Death Note now qualifies on both fronts!


Death Note

My first experience of Death Note was reading a very bad fan translation of the manga online, around the age of nineteen. I don't remember exactly how far I got, but I definitely at least reached the Naomi conversation; the version I was reading mistranslated the iconic 'I am Kira' line as 'it's because of Kira', ruining the ending of that scene! I was so surprised when I experienced the official translation of that line.

Fortunately, although I didn't get that far with the fan translation, the translation issues didn't put me off Death Note entirely. When I was twenty, I watched the anime and hugely enjoyed it.

Although I loved Death Note from the start, I didn't actually write any fanfiction for it for over a decade, which is a little unusual for me. I first watched it in 2009; I revisited it in 2020, during lockdown, and that's when I started writing.

Because Light is by far my favourite character (a position he frankly does not deserve), my Death Note fanfiction disproportionately focuses on him. Of my five Death Note fics, Light is the viewpoint character in all of them and the only significant character in three.

I've mentioned this before, but it seems an appropriate detail to include when I'm talking about how Death Note fits into my fandom history: Death Note is a fandom that periodically sneaks up to surprise me. I can go for years without actively thinking about it, and then something will abruptly reawaken my love for the series in general and Light Yagami in particular.

The main spark for my latest Death Note period was seeing Death Note: The Musical on stage. There's no way this won't be terrible, I thought when I learnt that a Death Note musical existed, but it turns out that the musical is great. I've been singing the songs around the house for weeks.

Favourite character: It's always been Light Yagami, by a long way. Writing Shackles, I had cause to ask myself 'if Light were in love with L, would he still try to kill him?' The answer was immediately clear, and it was 'yes, absolutely, with zero hesitation'. There aren't many characters you could say that for. I love it. What a fascinating, terrible young man.
Favourite pairing: Light and L have a really interesting dynamic, and I like their potential for fanfiction, but my Death Note OTP is Light/himself, no question. Try as they might, nobody else could ever meet Light's standards. He's just so egotistic. I'm enchanted.
Number of words written: 10,856

Oh, God, listening to the musical soundtrack has nudged me back into full-blown Death Note mode. Save yourselves.

I just caught myself watching and rewatching the first ending credits sequence from the anime, one of my favourite ending sequences of all time. I'm obsessed with how intimate the little glimpses into quiet moments of Light's life feel.

There's that shot of Light lying fully clothed on his bed in a crucifixion pose, next to the Death Note, and I have not stopped thinking about it since my last Death Note rewatch three years ago. Sprawling on your bed, fully dressed and exhausted, is such a private and such a human thing; it's a reminder that Light is a person, that he's a kid. But he's lying next to his murder weapon.

I've actually just caught a bit of symbolism I never noticed before! There's a shot of Light with doves flying away, and then the same shot reflected with crows flying in; the symbolism there isn't exactly subtle. But I never caught that Misa's in the background of the original 'doves' shot; in the reflected shot, she's missing. Out in the real world, Misa's a person. In Light's internal world, she might as well not exist.

I always forget how much I love Light! What a hideous tragedy of a person. I still haven't written any fanfiction in which he makes out with himself, and this feels like a serious oversight, because I've wanted it for fourteen years. (This isn't an exaggeration; I wrote the line 'Light has to be the most perfect character for narcissistic self-sex ever created' back in 2009.)

EDIT: Whoops! I didn't actually mean to post an entire entry almost solely about the Death Note end credits sequence, but I hit the Enter key and posted it accidentally. I suppose this is a complete enough entry to let it stand? So, er, please enjoy this entry almost solely about the Death Note end credits sequence.

On an odd whim, I started rewatching Death Note. I'd forgotten how engaging it is! I remember the details pretty well - I've seen the anime before and read (half of) the manga a couple of times - so none of it actually takes me by surprise, but it's still a great story.

Or half of it is, at least. I'll probably just watch up to the point where I usually lose interest and then skip ahead to the last couple of episodes.

There are so many stories I love where people discover new aspects of themselves through being thrown into bizarre, extreme situations. Death Note is another of those, now that I think about it. It's just that the aspect of Light that's exposed by his situation, rather than 'unexpected leadership skills' or 'hidden depths of loyalty and bravery' or 'surprisingly good at detective work when everyone's lives depend on it', is 'cunning and dedicated murderer'.

I disagree completely with Light's actions, goals and philosophy. He's the worst! But he is still easily (and perhaps predictably) my favourite character in Death Note, and I still ship him passionately and exclusively with himself. Nobody else could ever meet his standards.

Light's pride is his defining quality. He's a smart kid, he does extremely well in exams, and he knows it. He underestimates L in their first showdown because of his contempt for other people; he always thinks he's the smartest person in the room. This is why he's the only one qualified to reshape the world and become its god. It's not just his desire for power at play, but his genuine belief that he's the best person around. Obviously he's entitled to set the rules people live by; who's more intelligent and qualified than him?

What a dick. He's great.

One of my favourite early points is Light asking Ryuk, 'Why did you give me the Death Note?' He's obviously hoping to hear that Ryuk has been watching him and decided that of course Light Yagami, with his impeccable morals and unparalleled intelligence, is the one to be entrusted with power over life and death. And Ryuk just goes 'lol, I didn't choose you; I just dropped it. I had no idea who'd pick it up. Why would I write the instructions in English if I'd been planning to give it to a specific Japanese kid?' Get wrecked, Light.

Why must I be cursed to love such terrible characters? I don't care; I'm enjoying myself.

One of the things I very much like about Death Note is the fact that, whilst there is a huge number of rules for the use of the Note, many of them do not actually come into play in the story. The Death Note seems much more like a real object if not all of its rules exist for the convenience of the narrative. Not that I want Death Notes to exist, of course; I just think it's a nice touch.


I haven't really talked about how Light would fare in Silent Hill, have I? (I initially mistyped that as 'Silent Gill', which is obviously the world's most horrific fishtank, containing dead coral, cloudy water and a tentacled Pyramid Head.) The problem is Light's lack of remorse; he always believes that he is doing the right thing, so how can he feel guilt?

OH, WAIT, I'VE GOT IT.


( Thoughts on Light's adventures in Silent Hill. Spoilers up to the twenty-fourth episode of the anime or (I'd guess) the seventh volume of the manga. )


Alternatively, perhaps Light is actually responsible for Silent Hill. Perhaps, when he is particularly disgusted by somebody's actions, he writes '[name]. Suicide. Comes to Silent Hill; experiences vivid guilty hallucinations; commits suicide after eleven days. Perceives death as the result of a monster attack.' It would explain a great deal.


In conclusion, a Death Note and Silent Hill crossover could work very well indeed. Here is a concept that almost certainly wouldn't:

The Pokémon whose name is written in this note shall faint.

Here is a summary I saw when I was amusing myself by glancing at the Final Fantasy XIII section of fanfiction.net (for those who don't know, Final Fantasy XIII is a videogame that is not coming out in Japan for some months and won't be available in English-speaking countries until some time next year):

She could almost feel his death racing her, could hear the jagged breathing of Death, its cold breath raising the hairs on her neck, but where many people would’ve slowed down in complete fear, that only spurred her to run faster... ShotgunGuy/Vanille

OH, NO, NOT SHOTGUN GUY.

Of course, I am an enormous hypocrite for poking fun at people who write fanfiction for Final Fantasy XIII based on what can be gleaned from a few trailers, given that I've had a Final Fantasy Versus XIII icon for months. It still strikes me as a bit odd, though. (Even more odd: this is not the only 'Vanille/Shotgun Guy' story in the section.)

What really confuses me, though, is the bashing of Stella from Final Fantasy Versus XIII.

That's right: people are bashing a character from a game that hasn't been released. How can you hate her just from some trailers in which, if I recall correctly, she doesn't even speak? How can you describe her as a 'waste of gameplay' if you have not played the game? The only solid reason for dislike I've seen given is 'her clothes are impractical', which can be applied to, er, more or less any Final Fantasy character ever. For all I know, Stella could end up being incredibly annoying, but I can't judge her character before I've actually seen her.

(I'll confess to pre-emptively deciding that I like Sazh Katzroy, but, come on (spoiler blackout, highlight to read if you don't mind knowing minor details about a Final Fantasy XIII character):


Wow, I am being such a hypocrite today! Soon I shall even be 'shipping pairings involving characters about whom I know nothing. (Actually, I've seen Lightning's name shortened to 'Light' in some of this inexplicable fanfiction. Given that Light/Light is my Death Note OTP: Lightning/Light? ...perhaps not.))


Not really speaking of Lightning/Light, I think I might like to attempt Death Note fanfiction. However, there are two major problems with this:

- I am not as intelligent as many of the Death Note characters. How am I supposed to adequately place myself inside a character's head if that character is smarter than me? Had I been Kira, I would have been caught in seconds.

- I watched the series in Japanese, with English subtitles. I don't know whether I can translate the characters' voices into English in my writing. Thinking 'does this sound like something the character would say?' is so much more difficult when I've heard the character saying things only in a language I don't speak. How do I know exactly how Light would phrase things were he speaking English? Perhaps it would be best if I were to buy the manga and get some idea of how his speech is conveyed in the official translation.

A third, more minor problem is the fact that the fanfiction would, of course, be Light/himself, and I'm not sure the world needs that pairing as much as I do.

Perhaps I should just write about Derren Brown being a shinigami. Or a Death Note owner. I think he would pull off either role marvellously. (I've also been meaning for a while to write fanfiction in which Derren Brown is Lucifer, because he would be alarmingly good at it. And, of course, there's andtimetravel.

All right, Riona, let's get through your last exam first. You can write to your heart's content about narcissism taken to its ultimate limits and Derren Brown being pure evil after Tuesday.)

SERIOUSLY, GUYS, SOMEONE WRITE/DRAW ME LIGHT/HIMSELF. PLEASE. HE IS SUCH A NARCISSIST AND THIS NEEDS TO EXIST. I have a mental image of Kira!Light pinning down non-Kira!Light's wrists and smirking at him, and it is amazing. I would love to bring it into the physical world. It is such a shame that I have no artistic ability whatsoever.


Ahem. Anyway, I have now finished watching Death Note.


( Spoilers up to and including the final episode. )


This is probably my favourite scene in the whole of Death Note. I laughed so hard. It is simply not what one expects of a terrifying god of death.


In conclusion, Death Note is essentially a murder mystery that tells you who the murderer is before he starts murdering. It is a slightly odd concept, but I think it works.