Trabia Garden

DEAR EVERYONE: shoebox_project was hacked, and I clicked the links the hacker posted, because I'm stupid, and apparently these links have been known to install keyloggers on clickers' computers, and I have run a virus scan but it has not detected anything, which is actually slightly less reassuring than running a scan and having it say 'yeah, you had a problem but now we have fixed it!', so, er.

SO THERE IS A CHANCE THAT SOMEBODY WILL HACK INTO MY LIVEJOURNAL AND DELETE ALL OF MY ENTRIES.

This would not be awesome. So, er, if all of my entries suddenly disappear and I post an entry with a suspicious-looking link to a site that ends with '.ru', don't click, guys.

I politely request that you all write 'sorry you're so stupid' snippets of fanfiction about Jensen and Jared in the comments. (By '"sorry you're so stupid" fanfiction' I mean fanfiction to distract me from thinking 'you're an idiot, Riona', but if you would like to write Jared/Jensen fanfiction with 'sorry you're so stupid' as a prompt, please do!)

I just discovered the following in one of my notebooks, presumably scribbled down after we heard that Jensen and Jared had moved in together but before it was confirmed that Jensen moved into Jared's place, rather than the other way around:

Jared and Jensen are clearly living together because Jared went to take refuge at Jensen's whilst Chad was pregnantly loafing around his place and somehow Jared never got around to leaving.

I really want this to be true. But Jensen moved into Jared's place! Alas! So I'm going to revise my personal canon to say that a pregnant Chad Michael Murray proved too much for Jared to handle, and so Jensen moved in to help keep Jared sane. At the expense of his own sanity, of course, because it's not like Jensen wants to be around a pregnant dude.

Also in my personal Jensen-and-Jared canon is the following extract, from a fic that may never be written:

They've only been living in the same house for four days, and already Jensen has learned things about Jared he doesn't think he ever needed to know. Like how Jared, after stumbling home late at night, will immediately go to sleep on the nearest available surface, with no regard whatsoever for whether there is a Jensen there or not. Like how Jared takes showers at two in the morning, sings appallingly, and somehow uses up three full-size bath towels getting himself dry.

One morning, Jensen wakes up and goes to have breakfast, only to discover that Jared has become bored with having all the cereal boxes in one cupboard and rearranged all their food alphabetically during the night. Twizzlers and tomatoes nestle together. It makes no goddamn sense, but apparently that's not enough of an excuse when Jared catches Jensen trying to sneak the canned goods back into the 'A to E' cupboard.

Come! Tell me about the way you imagine the Ackles-and-Padalecki household! Or just glee about the fact that we can actually say 'Ackles-and-Padalecki household'; that works too.

Okay, when was the last time you played Final Fantasy X? Because I can pretty much guarantee you it wasn't recently enough. THIS GAME IS AMAZING. WHY HAVEN'T I PLAYED IT IN SO LONG? BUGGER I JUST WENT THE WRONG WAY ON YUNA'S SPHERE GRID AND HAD TO RELOAD MY LAST SAVE. BUT STILL. AMAZING.

I want to train Yuna up to the point at which she can beat enemies senseless with her staff. That is my goal for this playthrough.

Notes!

- I sent Gatta to his death in Operation Mi'ihen and felt completely horrible about it. It would have been fine had I innocently chosen the options not knowing what would result, but instead I was being evil and calculating and deliberately told Gatta to go to the front lines because I prefer Luzzu and I find Luzzu's reaction to Gatta's death more touching than Gatta's reaction to Luzzu's. I'M SORRY, GUYS. Maybe I'll write some slashfic to make it up to you. But probably not. (Seriously. Luzzu/Gatta. Tell me I'm not the only one who sees it.)

- Yuna is wonderful! I don't know why I didn't realise how amazing she was before. She's so brave and determinedly cheerful in the face of everything. Possibly my favourite Final Fantasy female lead?

- My thoughts about Tidus seem to have settled down at last. Back when the game first came out, my thirteen-year-old self (I can't believe it came out so long ago!) had a gigantic silly crush on him, something my twenty-year-old self cannot really comprehend. After that, I went through a period of hating him, and now I feel I can embrace him as the immature, arrogant, tactless dork with a heart of gold that he is. He always means well! He's just, you know, a bit thick!

- Blitzball is stupid. I'm not sure any Final Fantasy minigame is ever going to beat Triple Triad. No, hang on, I've just remembered the ridiculous amount of time I spent playing Chocobo Hot and Cold in IX. Still. YOU'VE GOT A LONG WAY TO GO, BLITZBALL. (WHY YES I DID FAIL THE FIRST TIME I PLAYED THE GAME AGAINST THE LUCA GOERS AND DECIDE TO RELOAD AND TRY AGAIN HAVING FORGOTTEN ABOUT THE MILES OF CUTSCENES BEFORE THE GAME BEGAN, WHY DO YOU ASK?)

- Man, Final Fantasy X, you couldn't have lent a couple of cutscenes to the later parts of Final Fantasy XII? You've got almost eleven hours of cutscenes! XII has a mere six! A more even distribution would probably have made everyone happier! (I've got a fairly high tolerance for cutscenes, because I am, after all, a Final Fantasy fan, but eleven hours seriously that is not normal.)

- I think the battle system may be my favourite of any Final Fantasy. BRING BACK TURNS, THAT'S WHAT I SAY. TURNS AND CHARACTERS PARTICULARLY SUITED TO DIFFERENT ASPECTS OF BATTLE AND SARCASTIC WOMEN WHO ATTACK BY SETTING SOFT TOYS UPON THE OPPONENT.

- Auron is still and will never not be awesome.

- Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki are living together. This has nothing to do with Final Fantasy X and I posted about it yesterday, but I'm saying it again because every time I type it I am left with a gigantic silly grin and a significantly brighter day. I don't even know why! I'm not a tinhatter! It just makes me happy that the chemistry onscreen exists in real life as well. WHY ARE THEY SO ADORABLE?

Riona: So when Scofield was sharing the cell with Mayhem -
Riona's Brother: Mayhem?
Riona: ...was he not called Mayhem?
Riona's Brother: You mean Haywire?
Riona: ...


AND BY THEN IT WAS TOO LATE; CHAD MICHAEL MURRAY WAS ALREADY FIRMLY ESTABLISHED AS A PRISON BREAK CHARACTER IN MY MIND.

SOMEONE WRITE THE FIC IN WHICH CHAD MICHAEL MURRAY IS SHARING A CELL WITH MICHAEL SCOFIELD. PLEASE. I can't do it; I know basically nothing about Mayhem. But I do know enough to be confident that it would be hilarious.

Chad Michael Murray is sort of the Piers Morgan of the Supernatural real-person fandom, isn't he? Piers Morgan has never actually appeared or even been mentioned on an episode of Top Gear, but he frequently shows up in fanfiction because of a vague connection to one of the presenters; Chad Michael Murray has never appeared on Supernatural, but he is almost omnipresent in the RPF because of his friendship with Jared. Does this mean that I need to write Zombie Chad Michael Murray fanfiction, or just Chad Michael Murray/Piers Morgan? SURELY ONE OR THE OTHER MUST BE THE LOGICAL THING TO DO HERE.

You know what I want to write? I want to write something huge and epic. The longest thing I've ever completed was only 11,000 words long, and I wrote that with gayjunglefever. My longest solo efforts only make it to about 8,000 words. Most of the time, it's a rare thing if I exceed 4,000.

I want to write something of at least 20,000 words (all right, so it's not that huge and epic a goal, shut up), just to prove I can. There are two flaws in this plan:

- Given that I've been writing fanfiction for about eight years and have yet to exceed 10,000 words on my own, there's a fair chance I actually can't.
- I have absolutely no ideas or inspiration. I was trying to scribble down potential plotlines earlier, and so far all I've got is 'that fic in which Jared and Jensen become hunters', which sadly isn't really setting off any magical writing sparks for me. My soul seems inexplicably set on writing something about Jared and Jensen, though. I'd sort of like to write something that isn't actually crack, for a change, but as my non-crack fics only reach 2,000 words if they're lucky that's probably not going to help my chances of succeeding in this.

Blargh. Sorry for the 'WHY CAN'T I WRITE :(' entry. Have some happiness-inducing YouTube videos to make up for it:

Jensen and Jared are charmingly gay. This is the story of the 'eyelash incident' and you've almost certainly all seen it already, but I rewatch it every so often and it never fails to leave me with a gigantic stupid grin. Hee.

An animated Clinton and Obama dance hypnotically for three minutes.

The Master just can't wait to be king!

This is a video of the Master to the tune of Avril Lavigne's 'Girlfriend', and the terrifying thing is that it's one of the best fanvids I've ever seen.

(Do you miss the Master? I miss the Master.)

YOU GUYS. I AM NOT SURE I HAVE EVER BEEN SO THRILLED.

You remember the silly Jared-being-possessed-by-Sam fic I posted a couple of days ago? Well, mercuriazs asked whether she could record a podfic version of it, and I very nearly fell out of a window in delighted shock and said YES, YES, OF COURSE YOU MAY, and she did, and it is brilliant. The way she mimics Jensen's voice! The way she delivers lines! Plus she is a real live American, and I always sort of think in a British accent, so it is terribly exciting for me to hear my writing for an American fandom in the voice in which it should be heard.

The reading is about twenty-three minutes long; there are some tapping noises at the beginning, but they clear up within forty seconds. Here are the download links:

MP3 format (21 MB)
M4A format (31 MB)

If you enjoy it, be sure to tell her how awesome she is! There's a comment from her here that you can reply to.

You know when you're happily ficcing away and you somehow end up with a line so weird that you sit there for a while, staring at your computer screen and wondering what on Earth you're writing?

Great. So Jared's in Hell and Sam's just unleashed a demonic plague upon the world. Jensen is going to kill Kripke for ever coming up with the fucking Winchesters.

Yeah. It doesn't help that I keep mixing up Jensen and Jared. Apparently, two names beginning with 'J' are far too many for me to cope with. (Ooh, hang on; would Kripke be 'Kripke' or 'Eric' to Jensen?)

You know where this is going, don't you? What are some of the lines that have made you think 'oh, dear, what's wrong with me?' after you wrote them? (Or possibly in retrospect, if you wrote them when you were too young to know better?)

...YOU GUYS. I've been A Little Bit In Love With Supernatural for four whole days now, and yet not one of you has linked me to this fanvid? YOU ALL FAIL. ALL OF YOU.

Seriously, if I ruled the Internet, I would pass a law dictating that all fanvids should be set to fan-written songs. Because they are clearly the best sort.

Now, nothing can really be considered a fandom of mine unless I've made an entry crossing it over with Silent Hill, so I have to say this: crossing Supernatural over with Silent Hill would be the most amazing thing ever. I am being absolutely serious when I say this: I have never before seen anything that would cross over with Silent Hill quite so well. Not even Sam Tyler surpasses the Winchester brothers as a candidate for the helltown. (You're curious, aren't you, draegonhawke? I can tell.)

Of course, any Supernatural/Silent Hill crossing-over on my part would probably end in twisted incest, because every Supernatural idea that passes through my mind ends in twisted incest. Blast it all, not one week ago I was talking about how completely not-an-incest-person I am. I love you, Supernatural, and you repay me by traumatising me and destroying the precious final 'shipping barrier in my mind?

(The other required crossover consideration is 'would they be more competent than the present Torchwood team?', to which the answer is, of course, 'yes'. The answer is always 'yes', so I'm not entirely sure why I keep asking the question. That would probably end in twisted incest, too, but I have an excuse because it is Torchwood.)