Trabia Garden

Here are some things I have seen whilst walking through Brighton:

- a vast convoy of people on bicycles being held up by police whilst an exasperated man bellowed 'MOVE TO THE LEFT OR YOU'LL BE HIT BY A CAR AND NOBODY WILL GIVE TWO SHITS' through a megaphone.
- a man covered in live pigeons.
- a man tightrope-walking between the trunks of two trees.
- a very tall man saying 'As far as I'm concerned, Harry Potter is no longer in my life' into his mobile phone.
- a man with what I assume was his significant other's name tattooed on the back of his shaved head, which I think is quite clever placement; if you break up, all you have to do is grow your hair out.
- a man, in tears, saying 'But the thing is I never tell anyone anything' and then, in response to his female companion's 'You can tell me': 'I can't! I literally can't.' There was nobody else around (it was one in the morning and snowing), so, as it would have been too obvious had I stopped to listen, I kept walking. There's a story I'll never know the ending to.
- literally hundreds of nude cyclists. I had to stop at the side of the road and wait for about five minutes for them all to go past so I could cross. This happened twice in one day.

I'm not going to be living in Brighton for much longer, but I don't think I'm going to forget it. (Then again, perhaps I'm wrong; I'm definitely forgetting things I could have included here, after all. The first five of these were all from one walk.)


I've just stumbled across a page in my notebook filled with bad Final Fantasy XIII crossover AU ideas I'd forgotten about.

Final Fantasy XIII/The Mentalist: Patrick Jane is a fal'Cie and accidentally makes Lisbon and her team into l'Cie with the Focus of catching Red John. He is horrified when he realises what he's done.

Final Fantasy XIII/My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic: Twilight Sparkle is a l'Cie, having become one after venturing into the Evergreen Forest on a fact-finding mission. OR MAYBE THEY ALL BECOME L'CIE IN EPISODE TWO. Pony l'Cie have their cutie marks fade away over time; if you don't complete your Focus before it completely disappears, that's it. If they're all l'Cie, it's a story of SIX PONIES AGAINST THE WORLD; if only Twilight Sparkle is a l'Cie, it's a heartwarming tale of eventually being accepted by your friends despite being feared by society in general. And then you turn into a monster. No, hang on...

Final Fantasy XIII/Glee: Kurt is a McKinley l'Cie with the Focus of winning Nationals. MCKINLEY L'CIE ARE FEARED BY ALL OF DALTON.


Finally: th_esaurus has drawn Charles and Erik with their Pokémon! So adorable. I want to see it reblogged all over Tumblr.

(She protested that Magneton was too obvious. I maintain that it is exactly obvious enough. If a Steel-Electric Pokémon is composed largely of magnets and has 'Magneto' in its name, I'm fairly certain that not giving it to Erik Lehnsherr is illegal.)

So the second series of Glee is now over! No spoilers for the finale in this entry; I'm talking about the series more generally.

When I finished the first series, I said that the entire plot of the second should be 'KURT, MERCEDES AND QUINN ALL FORM A BIG CUDDLY PILE AND PAINT EACH OTHER'S NAILS'. This failed to happen, sadly, but we did get pretty close with Kurt, Mercedes and Rachel, which is a dynamic that brings me endless joy.

I really hope we get to keep the Kurt-Rachel-Mercedes friendship in the third series. Whilst for the most part I enjoyed the second series immensely, I was greatly saddened by Quinn's storyline; she was probably my favourite character in the first series, but in the second I felt that all her development and the friendships she had formed were suddenly wiped out. I hope that doesn't happen again.

Other thoughts on the second series:

- In the first series, only a handful of the characters really got to perform. The second series has been much better about this; some characters still get many more songs than others, but there's definitely been more variety in singers, which is nice.

- Kurt and Blaine are adorable, and I've had so much fun writing ridiculous AUs about them. Predictably, I stopped writing the moment they got together in canon. I think that's probably the end of my fanfiction for them, but I thought that before I wrote Focus and indeed before I wrote Behind the Curtain, so who knows? I'd certainly like to write more for them if I'm inspired to.

- I've mentioned it before, but I'm mentioning the Kurt-Rachel-Mercedes friendship again. It is so wonderful! I've always had a bit of a fondness for Rachel, but since she made some friends she's become one of my favourite characters.

- I didn't particularly care for Santana in the first series, but she's gained a lot more depth recently and I seem to have fallen a little in love with her. Brittany is also great.


My wishlist for the third series:

- There is much more focus on Rachel's friendships than on her romantic relationships. The focus switched between the two throughout the second series, and I enjoyed the former approximately eight billion times more.

- On that note, KURT, RACHEL AND MERCEDES ALL FORM A BIG CUDDLY PILE AND PAINT EACH OTHER'S NAILS. Quinn is invited as well; I think she's in dire need of some platonic cuddlepiling.

- Quinn and Rachel become friends. And then they have more duets, because 'I Feel Pretty/Unpretty' was one of my favourite performances this series. And at some point they make out. This is completely shallow; I don't actually 'ship Quinn/Rachel, but I think it would be blazingly hot. (Curious fact: the pairings I 'ship and the pairings I find hot are almost never the same pairings.)

- Karofsky is redeemed, joins New Directions and finds a boyfriend. A proper friendship with Kurt might be nice.

- Everyone in the fandom stops having raging 'shipwars and just gets along. Seriously, I've never been involved in a fandom that took its 'shipping so seriously before. It's a little frightening.

- I don't have anything in particular against Finn, but I feel that romantic storylines with him have a detrimental effect on both Quinn and Rachel's characters. So I need him to have a storyline that keeps him away from both of them.

FINN HAS A RELATIONSHIP WITH

I DON'T KNOW

EMMA?


In Pokémon-related news, I have now caught an Emolga of my very own! I named it 'YouBastard' and then I felt guilty.

Channel 4 broadcast a really interesting Derren Brown special on faith healing last night: Derren Brown: Miracles for Sale, in which Derren attempted to illustrate and expose faith healing scams by sending a member of the public undercover into Texas as a 'faith healer'.

I have a lot of respect for Derren Brown, to whom I once sent a ukulele in a fit of madness and who, rather than ignoring me or taking out a restraining order (both of which would have been entirely understandable reactions), sent me an extremely kind letter in return, and that respect was bolstered last night when he chose to protect the reputation of a PR company by deciding not to use it to promote his fake faith healer. (Of course, Derren is a deceiver and a showman, and it's perfectly possible that some of the situations in the film were deliberately engineered for drama, but I can believe that he did think 'on second thoughts, let's not endanger this innocent man's livelihood for our programme.' Whilst Derren Brown generally has quite a sinister image, most evidence seem to point towards his actually being a really nice guy.)

Whilst I'm on the topic, I will say that I was a bit disappointed by Derren's autobiography, Confessions of a Conjuror. I adore his earlier book, Tricks of the Mind, but I suppose his style doesn't really lend itself to narrative. The police aren't going to come after you if you let the occasional noun slip past without an adjective, Derren, I promise.

Derren Brown's Miracles for Sale is currently available on 4oD here. (I don't think it's available outside the UK, I'm afraid.) In case the religious amongst you are wary about watching it: it's not an attack on faith itself, but on people who exploit that faith for profit, sometimes with terrible consequences for the exploited (for example, if they are misled into believing they're healed and so abandon treatments that they in fact need).


In other news (although not the sort of news that most newspapers would bother reporting), I have rewatched Glee episode 2.16, 'Original Song', and I now have a couple of thoughts that aren't just 'omg Kurt and Blaine are the adorablest ♥' (although they are, of course, still the adorablest).

Regarding 'Get It Right': it's a lovely tune, but I think it's a shame that the 'original song' that New Directions use to open Regionals is in fact a great big mass of clichés. I mean, take the first few lines:

What have I done? I wish I could run
Away from this ship going under.
Just trying to help, hurt everyone else;
Now I feel the weight of the world is
On my shoulders.
What can you do when your good isn't good enough
And all that you touch tumbles down?
These are all incredibly hackneyed images, Rachel! If you're trying to express your own pain, you really should use your own words. Your voice still gives me chills, though, so well done there. (Yes, 'gives me chills' is also a cliché, but I'm not relying on my lyric-writing ability to win a competition, am I?)

It's a particular shame after an episode of songs with lyrics as creative as 'So sick with love I think I'm coming down with rickets.' Oh, Puck.

The Warblers' cover of 'Raise Your Glass' makes me dance ridiculously in my seat. I can't help it. I punch the air and everything. It is a very good thing that I've never listened to it in company.

I find it weirdly hilarious that Darren Criss's voice is frequently layered over itself during the Warblers' performances, giving the impression that there's another Warbler somewhere in there who sounds exactly like Blaine, or possibly that they have an invisible Blaine clone contributing vocals. OH MY GOD, WAIT: or that my fic in which all the Dalton students' thoughts are audible is true. It answers so many questions! ...by which I mean that it answers one question and raises many, many more.

Despite the lyrical issue and the fact that it didn't do as much with the Rachel-Quinn relationship as I was hoping, 'Original Song' is still my favourite Glee episode to date. It is packed with so many delightful things and I love it endlessly. (Did I mention how charmed I am whenever the Warblers and New Directions cheer each other on? Awww.)

I'm not very good at April Fools' Day. I considered making a big fake 'I'M LEAVING FANDOM, GOODBYE FOREVER' post, but what I've decided to do instead is this:

- You post the worst fanfiction idea you can think of in the comments. Inappropriate crossovers, incompatible pairings, stupid AUs or just wildly out-of-character behaviour: all are welcome here. 'Squall Leonhart gives up being a SeeD to pursue his dream of becoming a telemarketer', for example, or 'Silent Hill 2 AU: Pyramid Head is a florist, James Sunderland is a regular customer, love ensues'.
- I unwisely attempt to write a few lines of that fic.

It's sort of in the spirit of the day, if not a traditional April Fools' joke. Prompt away! (If you make a request featuring a fandom with which I am not familiar, I reserve the right to make things up based solely on the fandom's name.)

THIS IS SUCH A BAD IDEA. I suppose that's sort of the point, but still. SUCH A BAD IDEA.

I hear gossip about you all over the place. It just makes me sigh, RAKUNI. How did you get so strong? Go for the world championship now! I'll always be cheering you on! Call you later! ...is that OK?

Juggler Irwin's crush on me in SoulSilver is a bit weird and creepy, but the 'is that OK?' really made me smile. Oh, Juggler Irwin.

SPEAKING OF UNEXPECTED POKÉMON SLASH (I always play as a boy; there was no female character option back in the days of Red, and so playing a Pokémon game as a girl would just feel wrong now):

'Give him a call when you feel like it. He can be overly confident, but he still needs company. He says he won't have any plans on Sunday nights... Giggle!'

I, er, I think Daisy Oak is trying to set me up with her brother. Sorry, Daisy, but when I call him he tells me to call when he's available for a battle or forget about it. I don't think he's interested.

...actually, I just called Blue to check exactly what he says, and he opens with 'Hello... Whatever... Don't worry about me. I'm doing peachy over here!' Does this mean that my character is enquiring after his well-being? Oh, Blue. I just want him to find a friend.

(Blue generally breaks my heart a little. I mean, yes, he's a bit of a git, but still. I was so distressed when I learnt that when he sees you at the Lavender Tower in the first game and asks 'What brings you here? Your Pokémon don't look dead' and then fights you, his Raticate is missing.

If the first-game rival's official name is Blue, does that mean his full name is Blue Oak? What a wonderfully daft name.)


So I recently stumbled across a quote from Darren Criss and immediately set about scouring the Internet until I found its source, because it was the most adorable thing I'd ever heard. Here is said source! The entire video is pretty cute, but Darren's bit starts forty-five seconds in (the video is only two minutes long in total). My face hurts from smiling. I particularly love the smug way he says 'and we hugged'. Why am I not married to him? I don't understand.

I would love to be friends with the Glee cast. They seem like such fun to be around.

Yet another ridiculous Kurt/Blaine AU. I can't stop! (It is so good to be writing again.)


Title: Focus
Fandom: Glee
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Kurt/Blaine
Wordcount: 6,000
Summary: AU for 'Never Been Kissed'. The students of Dalton Academy are impressive singers, yes, but Kurt is more interested by the fact that he can hear their thoughts.
Notes: The concept of Noise is borrowed from Patrick Ness's novel The Knife of Never Letting Go, with a couple of alterations. That's the only connection between this fic and that book, though, so there's absolutely no need to have read it in order to understand this; it works as a perfectly normal story about telepathic gay schoolboys.


( Focus )

(Feel a little uncomfortable and guilty about posting silly television entries in the wake of recent events. You know, self, you're allowed to enjoy things, even when times are sad. In fact, that's exactly the time you need things to enjoy.)


I try to avoid spoilers, but A Certain Event in the promo for the next episode of Glee has half the fandom up in arms and has therefore proven rather difficult to avoid. Beneath the cut, I discuss this Certain Event, where by 'discuss' I mean 'ramble about in shallow delight and stick up a GIF so I can stare at it endlessly'.


( Spoilers from the promo for next week's episode of Glee (2.14). )


Wow, that was even more substanceless than I'd expected. Then again, I suppose I've never claimed that my enjoyment of Glee was particularly deep. (Here, for those who haven't seen it but may be interested, is the performance of 'When I Get You Alone' from last week's Valentine's episode. It is the most embarrassing thing ever, but also Blaine needs to take me now.)

I'm a young woman on Livejournal. I see my friend's posted a series of adverts, so I check them out, and I'm laughing so hard I wreck your car.

Somehow.

Despite being in my room.

Why is your car in my room, anyway? That's just asking for trouble.


Here's a meme I haven't done in a while!

- Write a list of characters and number them.
- Input the number of characters into this random number generator as the maximum and generate two numbers.
- Ramble about how the corresponding pairing/partnership/general interaction would (or, indeed, wouldn't) work. Perhaps write a snippet/one-sentence fic for it if you're feeling brave.
- Repeat to your heart's content.

(Although I haven't actually done this meme in over a year, I've kept my numbered list and continued to add characters to it as new ones enter my awareness and my affection, hence frankly ridiculous numbers like 143 cropping up in here.)


( Represented below the cut: Peep Show, Pokémon, Just William, Glee, Silent Hill, Sherlock Holmes, Disney's Mulan, Supernatural, Kingdom Hearts, High School Musical, Waterloo Road, Fullmetal Alchemist and, erm, Arnold Schwarzenegger. )


Finally: have you always wanted to see strangely adorable zombie ultraviolence set to an upbeat Japanese pop song? zarla knows you have, and she has provided. (She's made an entry about it here, if you'd like to learn about some of the detail that went into it or leave her a comment.)

I've bought a copy of Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days for the DS, and I'm a little surprised by how fiercely I found myself loving it even before any real gameplay. I love the Kingdom Hearts universe! I could happily roll around in it for months. Which is just as well, because I get the Start and Power buttons on my DS confused and have accidentally forced myself to redo a mission twice already.

(YOU GET TO HANG OUT IN A ROOM AND TALK TO MEMBERS OF ORGANIZATION XIII AND ROXAS KEEPS AN ADORABLE DIARY AND IT'S AMAZING.

I still think that having fourteen members in Organization XIII is incredibly silly, though.)


...I WAS ALREADY LOVING IT, AND THEN LEXAEUS PUNCHED ROXAS IN THE FACE TO ACTIVATE HIS LIMIT BREAK.

THIS GAME IS THE BEST GAME EVER.

And I love that there was no ill feeling behind it; it was just a case of 'punching Roxas in the face is necessary at this juncture, so I suppose I'll punch Roxas in the face'. Lexaeus, you are my new favourite. (There's no ill feeling behind my adoration of the moment, either. I like Roxas a great deal, but that doesn't mean the facepunching wasn't the best.)

Also, the friendship between Axel and Roxas simultaneously warms and breaks my little heart. Particularly with Roxas trying to logically work out whether it exists.

Me and Axel went on a mission to Twilight Town. Afterwards, we went and had ice cream again up on the clock tower. He says friends do stuff like that. Or they laugh together. So does that mean me and him are friends?

Roxas, Roxas, Roxas, you are tearing at my soul.


In unrelated news: Chris Colfer won a Golden Globe for his role as Kurt on Glee, and watching the video very nearly made me cry. His castmates love him so much, and he delivers his speech whilst sounding as if he might burst into tears at any moment. My heart!