Trabia Garden

I have finished the first series of Phineas and Ferb! And you should all watch it as well, because, guys, this cartoon is really good. The bizarrely amicable struggles of Perry and Dr Doofenshmirtz in particular are a constant delight. I love 'we may be enemies, but that doesn't mean we dislike each other' dynamics.

I also love that Phineas and Ferb never takes itself too seriously. Even in the 'Candace realises she loves her siblings really' song, what could have been entirely sincere is tempered by the hilariously literal lyrics:

You will always be my
Little brothers
'Cause you're younger
We're related
And you're boys

Other favourite lyrics: 'It only took a magic portal to Mars to give me some self-worth' and 'Just the two of us, in an oesophagus' (I love how ridiculously specific Phineas and Ferb songs can be. That song can only apply to the situation of 'going through someone's digestive system in a miniature submarine'. This one applies to the situation of 'dancing wildly because there are squirrels in your jeans'). Plus there's Busted, which is just incredibly catchy.


I stayed the night at th_esaurus's house recently! We discussed the concept of the King of All Cosmos as a private detective (worst idea ever, someone please write it) and of Wallace of Scott Pilgrim vs. the World going out with Nega Scott, rather to Scott's perturbation (better idea, someone write this as well). Also, whilst poking around fanfiction.net, we stumbled across what is possibly my favourite fanfiction line ever written (the 'I' in question is female):

"Oh god Joe!" I moaned out as he released inside of me. "you are not gay!"

Plus I spent a few hours yesterday with the lovely faeries_bite and mychickadee. faeries_bite wasn't feeling very well, sadly, but she was still able to help form the idea that is going to make my fortune: Parcelville, a theme park based on the Royal Mail. None of the rides end up where you're expecting them to go, and you can't buy a ticket at the gate; you have to go a couple of miles away. The most expensive tickets will allow you to go on the rides within a day or so, if you're lucky. I expect to see you all there at the grand opening.


Seriously, do give Phineas and Ferb a try. The only complaint I have is that Candace's screaming can begin to grate after a while, but it's got great characters and great songs and it's genuinely clever and funny. Even its formulaic nature works in its favour, because after it's established a pattern of expectation it begins to subvert and play with it in all sorts of interesting ways. It's great fun to watch, and I very much recommend it.

The BBC Two reception of the television in our communal room at the moment is... unreliable, to say the least. I was lucky enough to watch last week's episode of Torchwood with no interference at all, so this week it decided to make up for that by losing all sound and becoming unwatchably staticky half-way through the 'Torchwood. Outside the government, beyond the police. We're competent, honest' opening spiel, and no amount of retuning will bring my most beloved of channels back to me.

You all know what that means.


The Brilliant Third Episode Of The Second Series Of Torchwood In Riona's Mind, Clearly A Vast Improvement On Whatever You Poor Bastards With Television Reception Are Actually Getting To Watch (Although I Suppose I'll Have To Find Something Other Than Mansex With Which To Improve On The Canon, Because This Is, After All, Torchwood):

(The scene opens on a rather nice restaurant. Jack and Ianto are sitting at a table. Jack is fiddling with a bizarre contraption that may, if you squint, resemble a - a what? A Nintendo DS? No - no, hang on, it's a mobile phone. Probably.)
Ianto: You know, I do appreciate your taking me out, but I think I'd probably appreciate it even more if you weren't spending half the date flirting with Toshiko by text message.
Jack: I'm not flirting. Well, not much. It's to do with work.
Ianto: Ah. Well, that makes this seem much more romantic.
(The probably-a-mobile-phone vibrates. It does this much more vigorously than necessary. Jack checks his new message.)
Jack: Right. That's not good.
(Ianto tries very hard not to sigh, then decides that he may as well.)

(In the Torchwood headquarters:)
Owen: So, what is it?
Tosh: I don't know. We don't have records of anything like it.
Owen: Well, that's great, isn't it? That thing is growing by the minute, and we don't know how to stop it.
Tosh: It probably won't be able to get to us. We're underground, and it's too big to fit through any of the entrances.
Owen: If it can rip up buildings, it can rip up the street. Any way of getting our Madame Cooper back from it?
Tosh: I don't know. I'm trying to see whether I can find anything of its description on the Internet, but... ah.
Owen: Ah?
Tosh: Have you ever heard of a game called We ♥ Katamari?

(SOMEWHERE ELSE ENTIRELY:)
Oz Clarke and James May: (shag)

(Note to those who haven't been able to watch the episode as it airs: I don't think there are any real spoilers in here, but if you want me to cut it just ask.)

Oh, man, how much better than the first series of Torchwood is Series Two already? THE ANSWER IS 'A LOT'.

And how much do I want Captain John to meet Balthier? ALSO A LOT. (And it could so easily happen in the Time-Travelling Sky Pirates of Ivalice fic! Clearly the appearance of this 'GO ON, HAVE ME MEET BALTHIER, YOU KNOW IT WOULD BE AWESOME' character is the universe's way of telling me that I need to get back to writing the time-travelling adventures of Balthier, Fran and Captain Jack Harkness. I REALLY WANT TO PLAY FFXII AGAIN. WHY DO I NOT HAVE A PS2 AT UNIVERSITY? ALAS.)

Although what the hell, Gwen, 'no one else will have me'? RHYS IS WONDERFUL AND I DEMAND THAT YOU THINK ABOUT HOW LUCKY YOU ARE TO BE WITH HIM EVERY DAY.

I'm so glad that Torchwood has realised how ridiculous it is. It's so much better when it's a self-aware gigantic joke of a science-fiction show. (Star Wars references! 'You're good with roofs'! Jack actually being fun sometimes, as opposed to constantly brooding in windy weather! AWESOME. Also, the trailer for the rest of the series looks fairly amazing.)

That said, you know what's better than new improved Torchwood? Incredibly daft Katamari manips. Please do carry on making them; I've been laughing myself silly at all of the ones so far. (Draco's gets a special mention, because it's been two hours and I still can't stop giggling about it.)

RIONA'S PREDICTIONS REGARDING THE NEW SERIES OF TORCHWOOD:

- The main themes of Torchwood are sex, death and aliens, and we have seen sex with aliens, sex causing death and aliens being killed. There has, however, been no sex with dead aliens, so I am fully expecting to see that at some point in Series Two.

- Shockingly, there are still some members of Torchwood Three who have not, to our knowledge, kissed, had sex with or been at any point romantically involved with each other. The next series will probably rectify this. Possibly with a random orgy. (Are orgies ever random in Torchwood?)

- At some point, Jack is going to die in an incredibly stupid and trivial way.

- One of the episodes is going to be set in Silent Hill. Well, all right, it's not an actual prediction, but it's what I'd like to happen. For a more feasible prediction: at least one of the episodes is going to be extremely reminiscent of Silent Hill.

- Another episode will deal with the team's desperate efforts to stop a Katamari, while it rolls them up one by one. This is another fairly unlikely suggestion, but I can dream. I WANT CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS TO MEET THE KING OF ALL COSMOS. IS THAT SO WRONG?

- Rhys will be lovely, because Rhys is lovely. At some point, he and Ianto will (I hope) meet and be longsuffering together.

- SERIOUSLY, TORCHWOOD WRITERS: I WANT MY KATAMARI EPISODE.

So, what have I missed?

Actually, Amaterasu would have the easiest time ever in Silent Hill, wouldn't she? She'd try to get out, find herself blocked by one of those rifts in the road, paint the road back in and stroll across it. Even if she were somehow forced to go farther into the town, no making handles out of wax and horseshoes for her; she'd just need to paint in the trapdoor handle. And she could use the wind ability to blow the fog out of her field of vision! You've met your match, Silent Hill.

Did I mention that you all need to play Ōkami? Well, you do. It is an extremely good game. (I still want to see Katamari Silent Hill, too. Katamari Other Video Games In General, in fact. It would be awesome. Brushpainting Katamari! Squall and company being swept up into a Katamari just before they go in to face the Sorceress! And I want the Silent Hill level to have the cheeriest music of the lot.)

One essay to go!

You know you've been going to bed too late lately when you find yourself mentally comparing the writing process to making a katamari. 'So you take a concept or a starting snippet, and it accumulates more snippets, and... na naaa, na na na na na na na, na Katamari Damashii...'

I've also started looking at, say, bicycle tyres propped up against a wall and thinking, 'I could probably roll those up quite early, although the blackbird would be easier.' That can't be a good sign.

You can probably guess from all this that I've finally got my hands on a copy of We Love Katamari (I've never played a Katamari game before, as Katamari Damacy was never released here) and am fully prepared to take back everything I said about Kingdom Hearts II being the most on-crack videogame ever. In Kingdom Hearts II, you certainly don't roll keyboard-playing cats, cow-bear hybrids and the Taj Mahal up into a giant ball and then throw them into space.